Wonderland
by steelguardin
Summary: When a rift in time appears and threatens Ivalice, Ashe has no choice but to travel to the other world. Yet not everything is what it seems, and now the fate of mankind rests in the hands of the divine. Sequel to This Fate.
1. Prologue: What You Want Most

"If I'd been someone else in a different world I'd've done something different, but I was myself, and the world was the world, so I was silent…"

—Jonathan Safran Foer, _Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close_

* * *

><p>Poor girl, he wanted to say as he laid the tiny body on the bed, blood dripping from the sword on the floor. Her soft, shiny blond hair spread out on the white pillow like a halo, and as Balthier mused this image, he found himself standing in the shadows, hidden from the angelic light rising from the body. He thought he saw tears streaking her cheeks, but the dead could not cry.<p>

Her soul was a pale blue color. It sparkled in the moonlight and took shape, a mirror image of the now cold body in the bed, her hair still shining even in death. The young girl looked at Balthier with pitiful, sunken eyes, but he was nothing more than a statue to her; a cold, inhuman figure in the darkness. He tried to give her a warm smile, really he did, but she was blind and could not see this gesture of kindness. And so he held out his hand, took hers in a gentle and caring fashion, and led her away.

The towered Door of Souls stood like an impending, but inevitable doom awaiting the dead. The little girl trembled, hiding behind Balthier's armored leg and clung to the violet cloth hanging from his waist. He surrendered a chuckle, patting her on the head before meeting the goddess' gaze.

Etro was the caretaker of the dead, and he was her knight.

"My lady, this poor carbuncle lost her family to the Door just days ago, and she was unfortunate enough to suffer the same fate." Balthier nudged the girl, urging her to walk forward. "Though it pains me to see another poor soul pass on much too early."

"_I see._" Etro closed her eyes; she took on the child's mother's appearance, a plump, middle aged woman with silvery wisps of hair. "_Come, my daughter. Your family awaits your arrival._"

The little girl looked at Balthier, lip quivering, but he forced a weak smile in encouragement. With that, she took tiny steps toward Etro, and though she was much smaller than the Door, she puffed out her chest and walked through, vanishing into the air. When Balthier looked to Etro, frowning, she reverted to her original form, a cloud of light.

"I do hope this will be added to my quota," he said, drawing his sword and studying it. The Resurgo blade: a sword of resurrection wearing the symbol of the goddess of the dead. "Ferrying souls to the Door was never my ideal profession."

Etro's light drifted into the distance for a moment, the returned.

"_Your heart grows weary with regret. But this was your choice, Ffamran. It was you who came to me._"

He only nodded.

"_She waits for you_," Etro continued, but he knew just who she spoke of. Lightning. She would never give up until she found him. "_But your heart lies elsewhere._"

At this, Balthier reached into his breastplate and pulled out a fraying scrap of black cloth.

"_I can give you what you want most._"

Etro's light faded, then reappeared and slowly morphed into a tall, but tender and amiable figure. Snow Villiers grinned enthusiastically, blue eyes bright as the mid-day sky, but Balthier's cold heart could not be warmed so easily.

"_But he cannot return…_" Snow's image flickered and became nothing more than a spot of light, but Balthier could have sworn he heard an eradicated voice calling his name. "_Unless you give your life for him._"

Balthier closed his eyes. Flames danced in his mind's eye, the warmth of a body fading as its soul departed for lands unknown, words of promise lost to the night…

Taking a deep breath, Balthier nodded.

"I understand."

* * *

><p>Ashe awoke to the sound of voices cheering outside her window. <em>Of course<em>, she told herself as she sat up from her bed. It had been one year since she reclaimed Dalmasca and began to rebuild her city. One year. Her heart sank at the memory, but she hastily moved her thoughts elsewhere and stood at the window, admiring Rabanastre.

True, it wasn't completely rebuilt, but… it was almost back to its original glory. The Muthru Bazaar was up and running as if nothing had changed, and the streets were filled with bustling citizens ready to face the day's work. Ashe wished she could join them, but her duty was to defend her country, not gander and fool around with her people. Her taste for adventure had diminished over the years.

One of the handmaidens knocked on the door, her voice muffled by the wood. "My Lady, Captain Farron is here to speak with you."

"Let her in," Ashe answered, turning away from the window.

Whenever Lightning marched into a room, most men cringed in fear while women gawked in awe and jealousy. The Captain was a fine soldier, though most were afraid of her cold heart and stern glare; not to mention her fierce punches.

But Ashe understood something they could not. Lightning was not from Ivalice. She had lived in another world all her life until she came to Ivalice in search of a lost ally: the sky pirate Balthier.

However… things did not go as smoothly as they planned.

"It's a fine morning, isn't it?" Ashe said by way of greeting. Lightning didn't smile in return. She didn't smile much, these days. "You know what today is, don't you, Lightning?"

"The anniversary of Rabanastre's recovery," came the usual polite reply.

"Yes, but…" the queen sighed. "I was hoping you remembered what else happened on this day."

Lightning crossed her arms, briefly touching the Dalmascan brand on her shoulder guard. "Look, your Majesty, I don't have time for idle chit chat. There's something—"

"Must I remind you again? Call me Ashe, please. We're past the pleasantries now, Lightning."

"Sorry—Ashe, I really can't talk right now. I just came here to tell you that I'm leaving."

The queen let her hands drop to her sides, disbelief clouding her eyes as she turned to look at the other woman. "Leaving?" she asked, voice weak.

"I… I need to go back home. It's—it's something you don't understand. I'm sorry, your Ma—_Ashe_." Lightning clenched her fingers into small fists. "But I can't stay here anymore. I really am sorry."

"You're going after him."

It wasn't a question. Just mentioning the sky pirate seemed to set Lightning on edge; she kept her gaze firmly on the floor as if she were memorizing every crack and swirl on the tiles. Yet Ashe wondered: what if she wasn't going after Balthier? What if, in one of those vigils she placed herself in, Lightning decided she needed to go home to be with her family? She had a sister. Ashe couldn't remember what it was like to have a family, not since her days with the Resistance. Now, everyone just treated her like she would send them to prison the moment they spoke against her.

Balthier never treated her that way, even when he didn't remember who she was.

"No, I'm not," Lightning finally whispered. "There's… no need for me to look for him. If he doesn't want to be found, then I won't find him."

"Then why are you leaving? This is your home now, Lightning," Ashe pleaded—no, queens did not plead. "You've done so well with helping the Resistance become the Dalmascan army again. You've even helped Penelo with the orphanage… and you have even helped me move on."

"That's why I have to go. I'm not needed here anymore. I'm going back to my world and that's that."

And she was gone, just like that.

Even a year later, when Ashe stood by that same window and looked over her city, she couldn't believe that yet another ally—a _friend_—was gone.

'_It's something you don't understand.'_

She gritted her teeth together and rested her head against the window pane. _What_ didn't she understand? _What_ made Lightning leave without a trace of where she went?

'_If he doesn't want to be found, then I won't find him_.'

The week after Lightning left, Ashe asked Basch to seek her out. All he found was a single white feather outside one of the shrines the woman had visited the year before: a shrine for the goddess Etro. Lightning rarely mentioned her goddess, other than that it was Etro who warned her of the dangers when the fal'Cie Lindzei came to Ivalice so he might summon Ragnarok to kill the human race.

Ashe could remember the night when Lightning told her the myth relating to the gods of the other worlds. Etro created humans from her own blood, dying just so they might have life.

Life and death…

A single feather…

Etro…

'_It's something you don't understand.'_

When she found Balthier that night in Rabanastre, standing over Snow's grave, he mentioned the goddess as well. She thought nothing of it at the time, but now… perhaps Lightning left for the same reason. They were after something, and Etro had something to do with it.

"Something I do not understand," Ashe murmured, looking over the white frills of the feather. "How can you find those that don't want to be found?"

Why even search for them? Balthier had been the one to show her what freedom truly was, but he vanished the night she lost her freedom. When he returned, he was no longer than man she cared for and failed to save his dearest friend from death. Lightning, however, was different. Ashe couldn't trust her at first, but she came to admire the woman for her determination and dedication to her duty.

One sought freedom, the other sought redemption.

"To find something that cannot be found."

Ashe perked up, turning slightly when she heard a young man's faint voice in the air. But when she tried to see where the voice came from, she found that she was still alone. Sighing, she set the feather on her desk and moved to the door.

It would not do for the queen to appear harried by her worries when it was supposed to be a night of celebration. Two years, and Rabanastre was back to its former glory. They were to celebrate the victory and joining of Dalmasca and Archadia, not fear the words of bodiless voices.


	2. Boundaries of Time

"She fell, she hurt, she felt. She lived. And for all the tumble of her experiences, she still had hope."

—Sarah Dessen_, __This Lullaby_

* * *

><p>Ashe sat with Penelo on the balcony just outside her bedchambers, watching the sun fade into night and the stars come out to play. Citizens of Rabanastre gathered at the palace gates, awaiting the start of the ball, while some remained in their apartments, too busy to even care what day it was. Ashe, however, couldn't forget.<p>

"It's strange to think that two years have passed," Penelo said quietly. "So much has changed… it's a little hard to believe. Two years ago, I didn't think I'd ever see the city again. It may not be home, but it feels like it could be."

Home—Ashe wasn't sure where 'home' was anymore. Balthier once said his home was the sky, but of course she didn't believe him at the time. She thought he had been joking with her.

"Hey, Ashe? Do you think he's still out there?"

"Who?"

"Balthier. He's been gone since… you know. I just thought he would come back if he ever needed us." She leaned against the railing, her braids swaying with the gentle wind. "I mean, we're a family, aren't we? We should stick together no matter what. He came back once, so maybe…"

Ashe shook her head. "He won't come back, Penelo. However, I know he is out there… Knowing him, he's out saving another world." A smile snuck across her lips.

"The leading man always saves the day," Penelo continued, "and perhaps then he'll find his happy ending."

'_One hero has to get out of here alive. This story's gotta have a… happy ending, right?'_

"He deserves one," Ashe answered. "He's earned at least that much."

Penelo left to finish preparing for the ball, but promised that she would stop by before the night was over. As she slipped into her gown and looked at herself in the mirror, Ashe didn't see the Queen of Dalmasca standing there. She saw a warrior in a feathered skirt with sky blue eyes, silver armor and gunblade. Ashe leaned closer to the mirror, touching the reflection's face, but found that she had been staring at herself the entire time. Suddenly her gown, a voluminous thing with gold lining and white fabric, and the most extravagant jewels with a light red bodice, seemed so foreign.

"No matter," she murmured, resting her hand on the white dresser. Her eyes wandered to the necklace sitting inches away from her hand: a metal charm shaped like a lightning-bolt. As she picked it up and turned it over in her hands, she remembered that Balthier wore a necklace almost exactly like it. Her heart skipped a beat and she whirled around. "Balthier?" she called. "Balthier, are you… how did this get here?"

She held the necklace up to the light, watching it spin and swing back and forth in slow motion, until the clock upon the wall rang twice. Then—it froze. Ashe turned, pausing briefly before pivoting on her heel and walking out, slipping the lightning-bolt charm over her head and around her neck.

* * *

><p>"Lady Ashe, we have been awaiting your arrival." The guard bowed to her and opened the double doors leading. All faces turned to her, watching her expectantly. "The Lady Ashelia B'nargin, Queen of Dalmasca!"<p>

Smiling, she entered the ball room and looked around, regarding the happy faces of her citizens and family. Penelo danced alone, but Ashe was certain Vaan was there in spirit. She made her way through the crowd of spinning, laughing people, nodding each time someone greeted her. It was the 'royal routine' to accept all with a smile, offer any condolences, and hear any complaints and pleas.

At last she found Basch standing by the stain glass window.

"Penelo didn't ask to dance with you?" she said, joining him. He colored at her words, then laughed lightly.

"I suppose I owe her at least one dance. Though, she seems quite happy on her own." He nodded to the girl in the crowd. "She came to Archades not long ago. She was on her way to visit Vaan's grave…"

Ashe frowned. "She misses him. I can see it in her eyes—even if she says she's fine, I know both Vaan's death and Balthier's departure have dampened her spirits."

"It has happened to us all. That night… we all lost something. I can only hope that things will get better."

He said his farewells and went to join Penelo. Ashe sat alone, running her finger along the rim of her glass in a languid manner. Though it was a night for celebration, she felt that there was only one thing meant to be celebrated: the restoration of her home. However, there were people who thought otherwise.

"Lady Ashe," a noble, but taut man said as he sat beside her at the table. "Two years, and you still look utterly divine. I can hardly believe you were once courted to the late Emperor Vayne."

"You are too kind, Lord Tempus," she answered, lowering her eyes.

"I remember hearing that you, even before your _second_ husband's death, ran off with that Judge… what was his name? Exodus?"

"Mateus," she whispered faintly. Her fingers clenched her sleeves enough that the thin fabric nearly ripped in two.

Tempus laughed. "Ah, yes. Mateus. The esper that bound himself to a shamaness when Death came for him… Tell me, my Lady, did he _bind_ himself to you?"

Ashe stood abruptly and slapped him hard enough that the crack echoed moments after. "How _dare _you insinuate that I wasn't loyal to my husband. Mateus stole everything from me. I could _never_ love a monster like him."

There was a flash of light, and suddenly the whole palace began to shake. Ashe picked up her skirts and ran, pushing her way through the crowd of panicking people as they screamed and shouted. She heard Penelo cry her name, but she had to run, had to get away. Strange wisps of gold and gray filtered through the windows and walls, smashing every bit of glass and whirling around and around in the air.

As she ran, the gold ribbons followed her until she stopped—a bright light spun around, nearly blinding her. She shut her eyes and waited for it to pass, and when she started to move once more, she found that her dress was gone and in its place was some sort of battle armor. It looked much like the armor she wore three years before, but her skirt had been replaced by dark magenta shorts with a white cape trailing down her back. Before she could comprehend just what was going on, she saw the source of the destruction.

Monsters of all kinds paraded through the streets and charged at the unfortunate people that had foolishly wandered outside. Ashe stepped out onto the balcony and looked around, worriedly searching for answers. The palace trembled once again, and the balcony began to collapse. Ashe tried to step back, but then—

"Jump down!"

She looked down: a young man with brown hair and strange tribal clothing stood below. He held out his arms, urging her to jump.

"Hurry, we don't have much time!"

Ashe swallowed hard and jumped. Rather than hitting the ground, he caught her and muttered a short "got you!" to put her fears to rest. After she opened her eyes, the boy looked down at her and nodded, setting her back on her feet and moving away.

"Who are you?" she asked, out of breath. He drew procured a sword from his belt and thrust it into her arms before turning away.

"Noel Kreiss. I need you to come with me."

"Is this your doing?" she snapped, stepping in front of him. "These creatures… what are they doing here in Ivalice?"

"We don't have a lot of time," he repeated. "Your friend Lightning sent me here. I need your help, Ashe, but I can't explain everything right now."

Ashe narrowed her eyes, but before she had the chance to answer, Noel grabbed her by the hand and whisked her away—soon she found herself standing hundreds of feet away from the palace, watching as fiends ran rampant through her city. She jerked away from Noel's grip and slapped him.

"Take me back," she spat.

"I can't, I'm sorry. If you go back there, you'll die."

Her heart beat stopped for a moment. "What do you mean?" she asked, her fingers wrapping around the lightning-bolt charm.

"Those monsters are from Valhalla, the city of the dead. Anyone they come across is dead; there's no stopping them."

"You brought them here!"

He sighed heavily and rubbed his nape. "Look, I don't know how to explain this, but… Ivalice is in danger. Sooner or later those monsters would have found a way here once the Door opened and broke the balance between the worlds. I… a friend of mine saw it happen in her head." He pointed to his own head as if to emphasize his point, but Ashe turned away. "I really am sorry for bringing them here, but I had to find you."

"Just tell me why."

"Lightning sent me."

"How could she? She went back to her world…" Ashe frowned.

"She told me to find you and her sister, Serah. I need your help, Ashe."

She looked down at the sword in her hands. It reminded her of the Sword of Kings, the weapon she lost the night the Sun-Cryst was destroyed. The gold blade read the word "virtus" in old Ivalican. Power. Noel walked up beside her and clasped her shoulder, and she flinched at his touch.

"Come with me."

"And abandon my friends?" she gestured toward the city, where nearly everything had been overtaken by darkness. "My kingdom? My _family_?"

"If you come with me, we can save them," he told her. "I'll explain everything once we find Serah."

He extended his hand, and with one last look to her home, Ashe took his hand.

* * *

><p>She felt herself fall through layer upon layer of clouds, arms spread as she rose to wakefulness. Taking a deep breath, Ashe opened her eyes and stood in the center of a platform, surrounded by statues of kings and queens of years past. The world was white, but as she squinted, she discovered a door in the sky. She wondered what lay beyond the door, but she pulled away from her thoughts and turned, facing a path to a crystal throne.<p>

"_Princess._"

She knew that voice all too well. "Yes?"

"_Open your eyes._"

"My eyes are open, Balthier. But I cannot see you."

A low chuckle. "_You cannot see what doesn't want to be seen._"

She followed the sound of his voice to the crystal throne, but he was still nowhere to be seen. Ashe rested her hand on the silvery fabric lining the seat, tracing each swirl and fold with a single finger.

"_Why do we dream?_" Balthier asked. "_Why do we create a world of our own? Tell me, princess. What do you dream of when there is no one to hold your hand?_"

"I dream of a world where nothing would be what it is… everything would be what it isn't." She pursed her lips. "There would be no pain, no sorrow… and most certainly, no death."

Balthier chuckled again. "_No death, eh? You fight for a lost cause, princess._"

"What about you? You told me the leading man never dies. You fought for so long, Balthier. Have you given up?"

She could feel his breath on her neck, but when she turned, he wasn't there.

"_I haven't given up, princess. I just… need to find something worth fighting for._"

"Let me help you."

"_Not yet. We'll meet again, and when we do…_"

The world started to shatter; her dream was collapsing. The throne began to taint, much like the palace walls and windows, and soon Ashe was falling deeper into the white sky. A hand grasped her own and pulled her up, then—

_Hold onto your dreams. You never know when you might lose them._


	3. On the Hunt for the Departed

"Every life is both ordinary and extraordinary—it is the respective proportions of those two categories that make life appear interesting or humdrum."

—William Boyd, _Any Human Heart_

* * *

><p>"C'mon, we have to move!"<p>

Noel's voice was loud in her ears as he shook her shoulder, hoisting her from the warm, steamy clumps of dirt. There were blurred figures everywhere, and Ashe could barely make out the boy's face as he looked her over for any signs of injury; he was just a deformed shape of white, brown and blue. Blinking a few times, she found that they were in the middle of a crater with some sort of meteor towering above them.

"I heard him," she whispered. Noel looked at her strangely. "Balthier—he saved me…"

"We have to find Serah. We'll talk more later!"

He sped up the hill and climbed out of the crater with cat-like dexterity. Ashe followed, lugging her sword over her shoulder, but soon bumped into the boy's back. Monsters, just like the ones in Ivalice, ran rampant through the village, sending the populace into a panicked frenzy. Noel's gaze darted around, presumably searching for Lightning's sister. Why he needed to find her and was so determined to do so, Ashe didn't know.

Suddenly he grabbed the bow and aimed for a fiend that had cornered a girl with pink hair. He released the string and shot the fiend between its eyes, vaporizing it instantly.

"You want her, then you'll have to go through me!" he shouted, charging and defending the helpless girl. Ashe drew her sword and followed suit. Meanwhile, the girl, Serah, stared at them as more insect monsters materialized from mid-air.

"I saw you," she stammered, "in my dream!"

"Yeah, save it for later," Noel replied, then held out the bow and arrow. "You can fight, can't you?" She nodded, taking the weapon from him and standing beside Ashe. "One more thing," he told the two of them. "Don't ever lay down and wait to die!"

She felt the calling of battle surge through her veins, a feeling she hadn't had since the end of her Resistance days. She easily took down the first monster targeting both her and Serah, swiping her sword through its wings and piercing its hard skin. The next was a bit of a challenge, but Serah quickly shot the fiend down. As soon as all the monsters were gone, Serah rushed to her fallen friend.

"Lebreau!" she cried, shaking the woman's shoulder. Noel walked up beside her, sheathing his swords.

"Let's get her somewhere safe. Those monsters might come back." He lifted Lebreau and carried her to the house by the cliffside, then set her down in the grass. "Doesn't look like she's hit her head. She'll wake up just fine."

Serah sighed in relief. "Thank you. But—who are you?"

"Noel. Noel Kreiss. This is Ashe—from Ivalice. And that," he pointed to her bow, "is Mog."

On cue, the bow began to glow and out popped a moogle holding a staff. Serah poked at the creature, her blue eyes widening with curiosity. "A toy moogle?" she laughed.

"He's supposed to be your lucky charm. Your sister gave him to me."

Serah's eyes lit up, and she hugged the moogle to her chest. "Wait, you know Lightning?" she exclaimed. Ashe faced him as well, brows raised in suspicion.

"Yeah, she told me to come find you."

"Where? Where did you see her? It wasn't…" She cast her gaze downward. "It wasn't Valhalla, was it? I saw it in my dream. Lightning gave you the moogle, and then…"

"I was sent to Ivalice, to find Ashe, then it sent us here."

Ashe nodded. "How did you get to Valhalla in the first place?"

He scratched his head and smiling sheepishly. For a moment, he reminded her of Vaan. "I don't really remember. It might have to do with that meteor over there. Let's find out what happened."

Serah and Ashe exchanged glances, but followed him out to the shoreline.

New Bodhum, as Serah explained, had been 'rebuilt' shortly after Cocoon fell. The people wanted to live somewhere they felt safe, so it was only right that they built a world much like their old home. Ashe listened carefully as Serah spoke, remembering that this world was the same one that Balthier traveled to years before.

"It's not much, but it's home," Serah continued. "I've been living with NORA since Lightning disappeared. They're like my family. Lebreau, Gadot, Maqui and Yuj."

The girl enjoyed talking, though Ashe wondered if it was only to keep herself calm.

"What about you?" Serah looked at Ashe. "I've heard about Ivalice."

"You have?"

"I met someone three years ago who was from there. I don't remember his name, but I do remember he was from Ivalice."

Noel smirked and turned his head to Ashe. "Someone you know, too?" he asked, but she figured he already knew her answer.

"His name is Balthier," she answered, looking to the shore. "He came to this world after he died and helped your sister, Lightning, save your world. After that… he came home." She remembered the day he found her again—he couldn't remember her, but… she knew it was him. "Serah, I have seen your sister as well. She was in Ivalice for a while, searching for Balthier. But a year ago, she left because someone else needed her help."

"Etro," Noel suggested. "The goddess of Valhalla."

"Valhalla?" Serah tilted her head.

"The legends say it lies at the end of time, in the distant future; that it's the realm of the dead."

Ashe closed her eyes. Lightning mentioned the realm of the dead in the myths she read to her—it was called the Invisible World.

"So, what?" Serah giggled softly. "Do they dead live there after they die?"

"Maybe. I just remember waking up in Valhalla to the sound of your sister's voice. She told me to find you and Ashe." Noel scratched his chin. "She wants us to save the future."

Serah went silent, resting her chin atop Mog's head. As if a thought suddenly occurred in her mind, she looked up at Noel and asked, "Are you a hunter?"

"What makes you say that?"

"I'm only curious."

"Well, it's… less of a job and more of a way of life. In the era I come from, if you don't learn how to hunt, you don't eat." He laughed lightly and rubbed his nape. "Sorry, I'm terrible at introducing myself. It's your turn to talk, Ashe…"

She narrowed her eyes at him, then sighed and looked up at the night sky. The stars glittered faintly. Suddenly, a gust of wind whipped around them, and everything turned gray. Serah cried out, looking all around as the trees began to wilt and fade.

"What's happening? Is this… is another dream?" she asked, and Mog gave a worried "kupo!" in agreement.

"I don't think so," Noel muttered. "It seems like the monsters screwed things up here, too. They're from a place where time moves differently than in this world. This world, Ivalice and Valhalla are mixed up. Three time streams layered on top of one another…"

Ashe frowned. "Our worlds were connected far before this. Why start this now?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

The beach returned to its lush, lively appearance not long later. Noel sat down on a rock and rested his chin in his palm, and Serah sat down beside him.

"That world we just saw… that's where I come from. In the world I'm from…" He pointed to a massive crystallized pillar in the distance. Ashe gasped; it was beautiful! "Cocoon doesn't exist anymore. Even since I was born, it's been that way. How… how long has it been since Cocoon fell?"

"Three years. I've been told that Ragnarok came smashing out of Cocoon and saved it from falling."

Ragnarok—Ashe trembled at the name. Balthier had played host to that beast until it died at the hands of…

She shook her head and joined the pair.

"The time I grew up in is seven hundred years into the future," Noel explained. He stood abruptly. "Let's check out that meteor."

Without any monsters to slow them down, they reached the crater in no time at all. The gang called NORA followed them there, and after introductions, Ashe found herself the center of Maqui's attention.

"You're not from around here, are you?" he asked eagerly. "We'll show you around, introduce you to everyone, the works!"

Lebreau shoved him aside, rolling his eyes. "Sorry about him. He's just a kid."

"Understandable…" Ashe averted her eyes and walked to Noel and Serah, who stared at the large meteor as they tried to figure out what it was. "Any luck?"

Noel shook his head. "Serah, I can take you to her," he said, almost completely ignoring Ashe. "We can find Lightning together. I _know_ she wants to see you!"

Gadot grabbed Noel by the front of his shirt and growled. "You're full of it!" He angrily stepped away when Serah touched his arm, a tentative look in her eyes. The big man went to the rest of his gang, begrudgingly watching as Serah looked at Noel and Ashe.

"Do you really know where my sister is?"

The boy took her hand and held it up to the meteor. A golden sigma materialized over her fingertips and began to glow, and soon the whole rock started to glow as well. Ashe covered her eyes, and the next thing she knew, a spinning machine stood before them.

"What is that?" she asked.

"You see? It's a time gate. It's like a portal to another world… She's waiting on the other side."

* * *

><p>"Here, Ashe, you can sleep in my room," Serah said, taking the other woman's hand.<p>

Upon returning to the house and bar, Noel got into an argument with NORA, mainly Gadot, about whether Lightning was still alive. Ashe stayed silent, afraid of what might happen if they discovered that she, too, was from another world. Mog had fluttered by her shoulder and plopped into her lap, waving his arms jokingly until she cheered up.

After that, they decided it was time to rest. The village was safe, and Ashe was more than ready to turn in for the night. She offered to find somewhere else to sleep, but Serah was adamant on letting her stay with her.

A cat lay on her pink bed, purring loudly when she walked over and ran her fingers through his fur.

"Who said you can take my bed?" Serah cooed. The cat mewled and hopped onto the other bed with blue and white sheets. "Well, all right. You can take that one, then. You don't mind sharing this one with me, do you, Ashe?"

"Not at all."

"I hope Noel is all right with sharing a room with Maqui and Yuj… We're not used to having so many people over for the night. But I guess you're used to it; Noel told me you're a… princess?"

Ashe smiled faintly. "Queen of Dalmasca. But, now that my home is gone, I suppose there's no point in introducing myself as a Queen."

"If everyone here made it out okay, I'm sure your family is safe, too."

"I can only hope."

* * *

><p>She stood in white world, the statues of Kings and Queens of the past staring down at her with cold, gray eyes. She could hear the echo of their voices, whispers of the dead and even the voices of the living. Taking a deep breath, Ashe walked around the statues until she came upon a familiar face.<p>

It was Balthier, frozen in crystal. He wore armor, much like the noble knights of Nabradia, yet there was something different about him—he was not smiling. He was… crying? Ashe rested her fingers on the crystal tear upon his cheek, cool beneath her touch.

"Balthier…" she whispered. "Is this what has become of you?"

The statue remained silent.

He wasn't even breathing. Not that statues could breathe, of course, but it hurt to see Balthier like this. Where was that smirk, that confident expression that always warmed her heart?

Ashe laid her cheek against his chest, listening for his heart beat.

There was none.

* * *

><p>The rest of the night passed peacefully. When morning came, Ashe found Serah talking with Yuj and Gadot. Noel sat alone by the doors, a look of pensive on his face.<p>

"—I'm sure he wouldn't mind," Serah told the two men. "He'll be back any day now, and then you can tell him where I've gone."

Ashe was about to ask who they were talking about, but Maqui clambered out from behind the counter and tripped over himself trying to reach her.

"Hey, Ashe, right? Are you going out with that Noel guy, too?" he asked.

"Going… out?" She looked to Serah for clarification. "Are we going somewhere?"

"Noel said we need to find these artefacts to open the time gate," she answered. "Once we do that, well… We'll have to see where it leads us."

"You don't believe him, do you?"

Serah smiled softly. "I haven't decided yet."

Noel seemed surprised that Ashe was coming along, but was nonetheless glad to have her there. As they walked onto the beach, the morning sun shining brightly in the sky, Serah's cat ran past and behind the house. Naturally, Mog went to follow it, promptly the three to chase after him.

They found the cat hiding underneath a palm tree, his small paws kneading the grass as soon as Serah bent down in front of him. "Snow! There you are," she said, patting the cat's head. "It looks like you don't have any artefacts on you, hm?"

Noel crossed his arms. "Snow?"

"Oh! That's this little one's name, too. Yuj suggested it after I hid him in my room for a few days." She tickled the cat's chin. "He's very reliable and won't leave you behind, just like his namesake."

Startled, Ashe moved away from the pair and sat down on the deck. The cat pranced over to her and curled up in her lap, dropping a small pendant into her hands. Serah walked over, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Oh? What were you doing with this?" she asked the cat, holding the pendant up.

"A collar?" Noel shrugged.

"It's mine. It's a reminder of a promise a good friend made me…"

"A good friend, huh?"

She nodded, smiling dreamily. "Snow, my fiancé. He went looking for my sister after she disappeared. He was the only one who believed me when I said she was still alive. Everyone else thinks she's dead… but not Snow."

Ashe averted her eyes and ran her fingers through the cat's soft, short fur.

"Are you sure you're not waiting in vain?" Noel asked suspiciously. "Lightning, Snow… Neither of them have come back. Why didn't you go looking for them?"

"Because I believe him," Serah answered rather sternly. "I wish I could have gone with him, but…"

"So you should go now. There's no reason for you to stay behind is there?" Noel crossed his arms, but Serah remained silent. "Sorry. You should make the decision, Serah. Not me."

The girl seemed saddened by this, blue eyes drifting toward the dock on the shoreline. As Noel looked to the side, Ashe let the cat scurry away, then cleared her throat softly.

"Serah, who is Snow to you?" she wondered.

"He's the most important person to me," Serah replied, tilting her head as she looked up. "Without him, I don't know where I would be."

"I see…"

There was no doubt in her mind that the very man Serah spoke of was the same one that came to Ivalice under the guise of Mateus. But Serah had no idea of his fate; she believed him to be alive, searching for her sister. Ashe closed her eyes. Serah deserved to know the truth, but surely it would break her heart and shatter all hope of finding her family.

"Do you have someone important to you, Ashe?" Serah was looking at her, smiling faintly. "A boyfriend back home? A husband?"

She felt her cheeks burn in embarrassment. "No! I don't have the time for… any of that."

"So this Balthier guy isn't important to you?" Noel came up behind her, smirking.

"He is. He's… definitely important to me. I have so much I want to say to him, but he has gone missing, much like Lightning. He doesn't want me to find him."

Noel shrugged and turned away.

After that, Serah seemed a little more relaxed around the other two, often talking more and more about the days after Lightning vanished. Ashe felt her spirit break bit after bit each time Serah smiled as she said her sister's name or mentioned something foolish Snow did. The girl had no idea that her sister was serving the goddess Etro and that Snow was dead.

"Let me get something from my room," she said, walking up the steps to Lebreau's bar. "I'll be back in a second!"

Mog followed her, leaving Ashe and Noel to wait alone.

"You believe me, don't you?" Noel asked suddenly.

"About who you are? Of course I do." Ashe tugged her gloves and sat down on the steps. "We traveled to this world and found Serah. That is enough proof for me."

He flashed a confident smile, but his cheery expression faded the moment Serah bounded out of the bar, carrying a bright orange crystal in her hands.

"There's a mirror in my room that wasn't there before," she panted. "I touched it, and… this appeared. What is it?"

"It's something that couldn't possibly exist in this time period. It must be an artefact," Noel said. "Let's head to the gate and open it. Then we can find Lightning, okay?"

Ashe made to follow him, but Serah was still hesitant. "Hey, Noel?" she spoke up. "What is it you want?"

He stared at Cocoon's crystal, his back facing the two women. "A future… where everyone lives. I lived at the end of days. I was the very last child to be born. As I grew up, everyone I knew died one by one… until eventually it was just me. All their dreams fell onto my shoulders… I was their last hope." He turned around. "That's why I set off on this journey. Maybe I won't be able to go back there, and maybe there's no way I can make everyone happy… But at the very least, I want a future where everyone can _live_.

"When I met Lightning in Valhalla," Noel continued, "she gave me a chance. 'You can change the future', she told me. I believe her." He looked at Serah, but she stared at the artefact in silence, and so he turned toward Ashe. "Ashe? What about you?"

Ashe touched the lightning-bolt charm. She thought of Balthier as he stood over Snow's grave, clutching the black bandana to his heart. She thought of Penelo after Vaan died, and how the poor girl wouldn't stop crying for days. And finally—she thought of her family. Her brothers, her mother and father, Rasler…

"I, too, wish for a better future. I want to see a world where there is no sorrow, no pain… and most definitely no death."

They returned to the crater that afternoon after saying farewell to NORA, yet Serah still seemed reluctant to leave. She gazed up at the golden light rising from the machine, and the crystal she held reacted with a similar pale glow. She took a deep breath and faced the other two.

"I'm ready. I know it's not just my imagination. My sister is alive. I'm sorry I doubted you—both of you. Just like Snow believed in me, I believe in you guys. So I'm going after Lightning."

Noel nodded. "I'll take you to Valhalla, Serah, no matter what."

They held the artefact up to the machine, and not a moment later, the gate whisked them away to worlds unknown.


	4. In the Hand of Fate

"A real miracle's a reminder and a warning that the line that separates the possible from the impossible isn't as firm as we like to think it is."

—Dirk Wittenborn, _Fierce People_

* * *

><p>At first it seemed as if she were falling, but the moment she heard the clattering and whirrs of wheels turning, Ashe knew she was safe. The world around her was gold and orange, reminding her of the sunsets she would watch from the roof of the <em>Strahl<em>. Vaan and Penelo would tease her about the "sad, un-Ashe" look in her eyes every time they found her sitting up there alone.

She found that drifting through this strange world was much like flying in an air ship. Balthier often said it was the one of the few ways to truly know freedom: flying.

"This is incredible," Serah breathed, drifting alongside Ashe.

"It's the Historia Crux. The crossroads of the time continuum," Noel explained, crossing his arms behind his head and grinning. "This is how I traveled backwards from the future."

Ashe allowed Mog to sit on her shoulder, patting his crystal pom-pom. "I don't remember coming through here after we met," she admitted. "I was in a dream before I awoke."

"That would be my fault. The shock of traveling through time must have messed with your head."

While that did make sense, she wasn't ready to tell them just what she had dreamed. All she could think about was Balthier's crystal among the other statues. If that was where he was, she wanted nothing more than to find him. She needed to understand…

"I saw you in my dream. You, Noel, my sister… there was someone else there—a man." Serah pursed her lips. "I couldn't see his face, but he was fighting my sister."

Noel's expression went cold, but he said nothing more.

They flew past many gates, each with images of the past, present and future. Ashe looked into one and saw herself sitting alone in the Archadian Palace, followed by an image of Mateus reassuring her that _everything would be all right_. She turned her gaze elsewhere, thankful that neither Noel nor Serah saw it. Mog, however, whined weakly and plopped into her arms.

"All of these are locked," Noel murmured. "The gate to Valhalla is gone, too."

"What do we do now?" Serah asked. "If we can't go anywhere—"

As if some godly being had answered their prayers, an immense gate materialized before them. Serah looked into it, touching her chin in thought, then looked at Noel.

"If it's open, then… I suppose we should go in. Right?"

He shrugged. "Might as well."

The gate took them in and—quite literally—threw them onto the brick of an alleyway. Ashe shook the flecks of magick from her hair and stood, blinking to focus on the bright light of the sun pouring in. Serah walked a few paces forward, eyes wide in awe.

"This is Cocoon…" she whispered. Noel came up to her, urgent and curious.

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, check it out. You can see the ground above us."

He whistled. "Wow! So this is how Cocoon looks from the inside…"

From what she could see, there wasn't much to 'Cocoon'. They were in some sort of temple, perhaps a shrine or tomb, and there were soldiers marching about with guns and clipboards. What they were examining was a machine entangled with an assortment of vines and ropes, the massive contraption stirring in its rest. The time gate continued to whir behind them.

"It's… quaint," Ashe said when Serah looked at her expectantly.

"That's right; I forgot. This is your first time here." The girl frowned. "It's not like it used to be, considering this is the future… I wonder how far we've gone."

"Could be a year, ten, maybe even a hundred. If we ever end up a thousand years into the future, we wouldn't have must to look at." Noel frowned. "My guess is that we're somewhere in the near future."

"We'll just have to find out, huh?"

How they were going to do that, Ashe didn't know. She followed the pair out of the alleyway, fiddling with the lightning bolt charm out of habit. Noel suddenly whipped around and pulled out his swords just as soldiers surrounded them.

"Stay where you are, intruders!" one of them shouted. Lights shone down on them as an air ship appeared in the sky. "We have you surrounded!"

Noel growled. "No kidding."

* * *

><p>They sat in a single cell room, the barred door facing a complicated looking computer station where two soldiers sat working. Another stood by the door, gun in hand as if he expected the three 'intruders' and their moogle pet to burst out of their prison in an attempt to escape. Ashe sat on the bench, scowling at the chains currently binding her hands, while Noel paced. Serah sat with Mog at the other end of the cell.<p>

"Hey, Noel?" Serah asked. "Do you think all this is because of a paradox?"

"What makes you say that?"

"That machine in the trench. It didn't seem to be from here. If you looked close enough, you could see that part of it wasn't really… there."

Mog perked up, but didn't say anything. As he continued to pace, Noel glanced toward the soldiers and frowned. "Not really there, huh? It could be a paradox. Whatever that machine is, it probably doesn't belong in this time."

"So what should we do?" Ashe touched her chin as she thought. "If it doesn't belong in this time, it might be causing a state of chaos amongst the soldiers. Perhaps that is why they thought we were hostile intruders."

"Maybe. But they might not understand what that thing is…"

Ashe smiled faintly. "If that's the case, we're not so different from them."

He met her eyes and gaped, but the soldier standing guard turned and snapped at them, "Be quiet in there!"

Noel eventually gave up pacing and sat beside Serah, occasionally poking at Mog's crystal pom-pom out of boredom. The little creature squeaked each time and hid behind Serah, comically waving his tiny fists in frustration. Closing her eyes for a moment, Ashe listened to the mechanical sounds of the computer, the whirrs and clicks as the scientists worked on analyzing the creature called 'Atlas'.

"_Serah?_ Where is she? Serah!"

Ashe opened her eyes to see a young girl with short blonde hair clinging to the bars of the cell, eagerly grinning at the three prisoners and their pet moogle. The girl wore a similar outfit to the soldiers, though with a more feminine touch, and her blue eyes seemed to bug right out of her head in excitement.

"Oh, Serah, I was wondering when you'd show up!" the girl continued, then sharply turned toward the soldiers. "Hey! Unlock the door! My friends aren't trying to ruin our research."

The men stared, utterly flabbergasted at her exclamation, before quickly following her orders. Mog flew out of the cell and immediately started to taunt the soldiers by waving his paws around, at least until Ashe carried him up the stairs to where Noel and Serah waited. The weather outside the complex had changed; rain poured from the skies and thunder erupted in the distance.

"Thanks for letting us out of there," Noel told the girl. "Miss…?"

"Alyssa Zaidelle, researcher of the Academy!" she replied, excitedly shaking his hand. "I know you two already: Serah and Noel. But…" her dark blue eyes roved over Ashe, who stood beneath the shelter of a woven blanket. "Who are you?"

"She's Ashe, from Ivalice."

Alyssa's grin widened. "Ivalice! Ooh, I've heard about that world from the Director. There was another guy who came here five years ago—"

Serah gasped. "Five years? Are we two years into the future, Noel?"

"Guess so. I figured the gate was too new to take us to Valhalla," he answered.

Ashe didn't listen to them. "Do you know about Balthier?" she asked. Alyssa, touching her chin thoughtfully, nodded.

"He's part of the reason why we've set up our research division here for the time being. Five years ago, he came to this world and helped destroy the fal'Cie Anima."

"No, that's not what happened," Serah exclaimed suddenly, pushing between the other two. "This… this must be the ruins of Lake Bresha. This is where the Purge started to crumble. I remember now: when Lightning and the others went to confront the fal'Cie, Balthier stayed with my crystal. He protected me. Then…" she shut her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Then when the lake turned to crystal and Lightning left with those other guys, Snow and Balthier stayed behind."

Ashe turned away. Every time Serah mentioned Balthier and Snow being friends, all she could think of was the _Shiva_, when Snow died in Balthier's arms.

"After that, it's all a blur. But I remember that Balthier never fought the fal'Cie Anima. He stayed with me because Snow asked him to."

"Sounds like your everyday hero," Noel noted. Serah giggled and crossed her arms.

"The leading man, actually."

"So you knew this guy? This Balthier? Was he really from Ivalice?" Alyssa asked eagerly. "If only I could meet him! There are so many questions we need answered about the other world… Ashe, would you mind helping us?"

Taken aback, Ashe laughed uneasily and stepped away from the girl. "I suppose I could tell you what I know. But, truly, there is no point in asking—"

"_Everyone evacuate the station immediately!_"

The announcement wasn't the only warning they needed. From the inside of the ruins, the mechanical hand ripped out of its restraints and plunged through the buildings, tearing the brick apart as if it were merely clay. A soldier rushed over, dragging Alyssa away from the destruction, while Noel unsheathed his swords and made a mad dash for the monster.

"Noel, come back!" Serah cried and chased after him. Ashe began to follow, but Altas' hand tore through the ground and engulfed the three, wrenching them from their world and into the paradox.

* * *

><p>When she opened her eyes, there was nothing but a starry sky and red glittering lights hanging in the black abyss. Ashe pushed herself up from the ground and searched for Balthier and her companions, but they were nowhere to be found, much to her dismay.<p>

What had gone wrong? One moment they were simply talking, then the next they were dragged into some unknown world. Perhaps Noel had been right; Atlas didn't belong in their world.

"We're inside the paradox, kupo," Mog said as he hovered above her shoulder. Ashe patted the creature's head just as Noel wandered out of the darkness.

"Huh, what do you know—it talks," he said, poking at Mog's nose. Serah, too, stepped out of the shadows and joined them.

"What happened?" she asked. "If this is the paradox, is it also where Atlas came from?"

Mog nodded. "We need to resolve the paradox before we can escape, kupo."

"Great. I get a feeling we'll be doing that a lot more often than we want." Noel sighed. "Well, let's fix the paradox and find a way out. Sound good?"

"Yes, let's."

Serah led the way through the darkened area, asking Mog where the path would take them each time they came to a dead end. Eventually they found a crystal floating near a towering pillar, but the path to the crystal was blocked by a wall of water. Mog gave a sad whine and huddled against Serah's ponytail while Ashe and Noel examined the wall.

As her distorted reflection frowned at her, Ashe considered sticking her arm through the wall to see where it would end up. If this was the paradox itself, anything could happen.

"You know, if you stare at it any longer, your reflection might start having a little chat with you, Ashe," Noel said, nudging her shoulder.

"What? I wasn't… staring. I was merely contemplating whether we should try to walk through it."

Beside her, Serah pursed her lips. "We could try. I mean, there doesn't look to be any other way out."

"Who goes first?" Noel asked, and both women took a step back. "Hey! That's not fair!"

"Boys first!"

He sighed, rubbing his nape as he walked toward the wall. "I always thought it was 'ladies first', but I guess times changed." Without hesitation, he thrust his arm through the wall of water, grimacing as if he expected the worst. When there was nothing but the sound of water dripping down from the invisible ceiling, he sighed with relief and grinned, stepping through the wall completely. Ashe stepped forward, preparing to walk through when she saw him.

Mateus stared at her from behind the wall of water. He turned, brandishing his Deathbringer sword toward Noel, and with a burst of darkness, Mateus pierced the blade through the boy's heart.

"_Noel_!" she screamed. "Mateus, _no_!"

The judge looked back at her and smirked before disappearing in a black cloud. Someone grabbed Ashe's shoulder and shook her back to wakefulness.

"Ashe, what's wrong?" Serah pleaded, staring down at the other woman. Noel stood over her, completely unharmed, which meant… it was only a dream. A time gate glittered over them, glowing with a golden light. She pushed herself up from the floor, glancing warily at her surroundings. They were still in the paradox, but now the wall of water was gone, as if it had never been there in the first place.

"What happened?" Noel asked. "You walked through the wall and started screaming that someone was stabbing me…"

"It was only a dream. This world must be getting to me," Ashe whispered, wrapping her arms about herself.

"A dream? Was it anything like the dream I had about my sister?" Serah urged, kneeling down so they could meet eye to eye. Ashe shook her head.

"This wasn't real. It was only my imagination…"

Mog plopped into her lap and huddled close to her. "The Void can do strange things to your mind, kupo."

"What, like make you go mad from fright?" Noel laughed. "Doesn't sound like a great place. Let's get out of here while we can."

"What about Atlas? It's trapped in this world," Serah said. "We should help it."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Atlas took us here for a reason. Maybe it wants our help!"

He shook his head and began to pace, looking up at the time gate with earn pivot and turn. "Or maybe it wants to lock us up in here with it. Drive us mad with nightmares until we lose all hope."

"But what if helping Atlas solves the paradox in the Bresha Ruins?"

Serah had a point. The only sign of a paradox had been Atlas' presence. Perhaps if they helped the monster, it would open up another path in the timeline, leading them closer to Lightning. Then again, it could drag them further into the Void.

"Then we better do what we can," Ashe replied, twisting her necklace's chain about her finger. "We must find a way out."

While Serah and Mog wandered off ahead, Noel touched Ashe's shoulder and frowned.

"Ashe. What really happened back there?"

She didn't want to tell him. Almost everyone who had been there that day on the _Shiva_ had gone missing. Others, like herself and Basch, wanted to move forward and forget it ever happened. But she couldn't; not when the past seemed to chase her through time no matter how much she wanted to run.

"I saw a man by the name of Mateus," she said.

"Mateus? Wait, is he trapped here?"

"He's been dead for over two years." She touched the lightning-bolt charm. "It was only my imagination. That monster is dead."

Noel scratched his chin. "Okay… so he was a man, but he was also a monster. You know some strange people, Ashe."

* * *

><p>The Void Beyond was nothing like Balthier expected. If what he thought was true, then the kingdom of the dead was Etro's representation of the Dalmascan palace, combined with the Bodhum beach side of Cocoon. Rather, it was merely a shadow of the other world beyond life. Perhaps he merely perceived it as what he recognized, and it had nothing to do with the living world at all.<p>

He smirked. Now he was just confusing himself.

Balthier walked out from behind the cracked stone pillars and leaned into the cold air, letting his eyes glide over the expanse of death and grief of the Beyond. It was a depressing world; a terrible and desolate realm. Just like Valhalla. If Etro was so lonely, why create a world where she herself was forced into hiding from beings unknown? Ah, yes—she had her guardians to protect her.

A cool wind wavered through the air and brushed against his cheek, like a hand beckoning him to walk off the edge to his death. He wondered: if one were to die in the world of the dead, where would they go? His gaze moved to the sky, where thousands of cursed souls writhed in their cages. His soul was not cursed, despite his less than gentlemanly actions in the past, and so Etro was more than happy to accept his proposal.

He sighed.

It always came to that: his desperate plea to the goddess when all was lost. He had abandoned Fran and fled from his own sorrow, hoping to find solace at Snow's grave. But no—he only found pain, the agony from knowing that Snow was dead and _it was entirely his fault._ Balthier could have stopped him, he could have done so many things… but no: he was a coward. He could not save Snow. So he begged the goddess Etro to _bring him back_, and she accepted his devotion.

And here he was: her most loyal knight and guide to the dead. How fitting, that he guide the departed souls to their eternal bondage of the afterlife when he wanted to pull Snow from said bondage. It would not be long. His debt would be fulfilled, and he would walk through the Door with Snow at his side.

Balthier closed his eyes and spread his arms, and with a smile, he let himself fall from the balcony and into the Beyond's depths, accepting the realm's embrace like a long awaited reunion. The icy air whipped around him like a series of thin blades, and—

He landed on a rooftop with a light tap, drawing his sword the instant dark violet clouds surrounded the ruined palace. Nearly silent footsteps came closer and closer, until Balthier whirled around and clashed swords with an armored man. A smirk tugged at his lips, but he didn't dare move until the intruder did first.

"Who are you?" the man asked with a low voice. He stepped back, letting his chaos-infused sword rest at his side. "Are you another of Etro's guardians?"

Balthier scoffed. "I would not sink so low to become another of her dogs," he growled. "I make my own path. No one controls my fate, not even Etro." When he glanced toward the man's sword, he felt twinge of recognition—a red eye on the blade's hilt.

_Red._

"Ragnarok," he realized, eyes widening. The beast's soul was tied to that sword!

The man smirked, bringing up the sword for Balthier to see. "Caius. Protector of the timeline…" he said. "And you… you are Etro's knight from the other realm. As a contradiction in the timeline, your presence has altered fate for far too long, and it is my duty to see you vanquished."

"Might I know of my crimes before you slit my throat, Caius?"

"You did not come across the Door when you died, and instead you destroyed the fate of Cocoon. It was you who took up the name of Ragnarok," Caius glanced to the sword briefly, "and it is because of you that Lindzei has passed."

Balthier swallowed hard. "I will not deny what I have done, but you must know: it was not I who killed Lindzei."

"Even if you had the strength to end a god's life, you wouldn't have killed him." Caius chuckled and turned toward the palace, where Etro slept eternally. "How foolish you are to hand your life to the goddess, all to save the damned."

Something inside him snapped—Balthier raised his sword and charged at Caius, only to be pushed back by a sudden gust of black magick and sent flying off the roof. He barely grasped the jagged ledge and pulled himself up, panting and grimacing, then shakily got to his feet. Caius chuckled again and raised his arm, and in a flash of violet light, the man was gone. In his place was a monster: Bahamut. Wisps of chaos rose from the monster's scales and massive arms, corrupting the very life in the air. Balthier stepped back and brought his sword up, careful not to fall off the edge again. The sword called Ragnarok had been carelessly tossed aside, and as Bahamut readied a typhoon of dark magick, Balthier made a mad dash for the other sword. The magick grazed his armor as he grabbed the blade and tumbled to the cement, but he could feel it trying to seep into his skin and blood.

Bahamut took flight and disappeared into the clouds, but he knew he had little time to gather his thoughts. Balthier stared down at the Ragnarok blade and waited for a sign—_anything_.

"Ragnarok," he wheezed, short of breath. "Ragnarok, I need to know if—"

A terrible screech shook the sky. Balthier had no time to strike before claws ripped him from the roof and threw him into the air, dangerously close to the red stars. He felt his sword slip from his trembling fingers, and his mind twisted and turned, his thoughts resembling fragments of nonsense. As he plummeted to the ocean, he thought he saw a seraph smiling down on him, holding out her arms and beckoning him to the sky—

Ultima caught him in her embrace and held him upon her pedestal, his tired mind straining to focus on the blurred shapes of violet and white shooting across Valhalla. Delicate hands touched his face, and the warmth of curative magick slowly returned his strength. Balthier dove off of Ultima's pedestal, smirking as he met Bahamut's inhuman gaze. With a snap of his fingers, he summoned his sword and pierced the monster's neck, chaos spurting like a fountain.

The beast was gone. Breathless, Balthier took a step back and turned toward the Ragnarok blade lying on the cold cement, sighing as the red eye fluttered closed.

"Such devotion." Balthier froze at the sound of Caius' low voice. "You are weak."

He turned, but the other man caught him by his arm, and a strange, sickly sensation stung Balthier's nerves. He tried to pull away, but Caius was stronger, and Balthier could barely move when the Ragnarok blade sliced through his armor and into his side. Tears threatened to fall, but he bit his tongue and merely whined.

"Why protect a goddess that cannot summon the dead from the ground?" Caius asked. "Why be her knight when she broke her promise?"

"Wh…" Balthier struggled to stay awake, eye lids drooping and shoulders slumping. "Promise? She never—"

"—made one? Well, I see now that the goddess is no less a trickster than her brother. To believe in deities that fail to restore life…" Caius kicked Balthier's sword aside and turned away, fading with the chaos. "I pray you find salvation in your eternal dream."

He lay there in a daze, staring at the red stars and wondering if there was more to them than just cursed souls. Blood oozed from the jagged hole in his armor, and for the first time in months he felt undeniably worn out and cold, like there was just… nothing. How could mere words poison his very existence? All he fought to save? His heart ached and throbbed as if it could barely beat.

Ultima glided from her pedestal and approached him tentatively, resting her warm hands upon his cheeks in a comforting, motherly manner. "I wonder…" Balthier murmured, closing his eyes as he disappeared from the world. "I wonder if I made the wrong choice…"


	5. Familiar Faces

"So she carefully rebuilt the glass jar of her heart, fusing the shards into place until the bottle was perfect. She shoved in the feelings before they suffocated her…"

—Jackie Morse Kessler, _Rage_

* * *

><p>"All right, that's the last of 'em," Noel said with a sigh, stretching out his arms as they walked up to the now glowing time gate. "The paradox affecting the Bresha Ruins should be gone once we head back there."<p>

"What about Atlas?" Ashe asked. "The creature must be the main cause of the paradox. It's trapped between our world and another."

He rolled his eyes, resting one of his swords upon his shoulders. "And you two want to help it."

"Think for a moment, Noel. If we're out to save the future, should we not help everyone we can? If the basis of our journey is to restore humanity, we should do all we can to help those in need."

After sighing yet again, he eventually nodded grimly. "You chivalrous types…" he grumbled, then began heading toward the time gate. "Look, Ashe, let's just wait it out and see where we end up—"

Atlas' massive hand plunged out from the darkness, and as the giant lifted itself from the shadows, Noel nearly tripped over his own feet out of shock. Mog gave a startled squeak, morphing into Serah's bow and arrow in an attempt to conceal himself. Serah caught her weapon and aimed it at the giant's towering form, but Atlas made no attempts to strike them.

"What's it waiting for?" Serah asked. "It's just… standing there."

Drawing her sword, Ashe stepped closer to the giant. When she squinted, it seemed as if Atlas itself was fading away and into the time gate. Before Noel could run forward and get himself hurt, she grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Look! It's going back to its own time. Solving the paradox _did_ work."

"So that's it? No fight or anything?" Noel grinned. "That was easier than I thought."

"Let's get out of here because Atlas changes its mind," Serah suggested, already running toward the gate. Ashe made to follow, but turned and looked toward the wall of water. She thought someone was waiting for her to come back, but it was only her imagination.

* * *

><p>"It's so dark…"<p>

Even if they knew what world they had walked into, they wouldn't be able to see. Nearly the entire landscape was covered with darkness, and though the path trailing down the cliff side was lit up by a few lamps here and there, it was difficult to see where fiends were wandering about. The sky was dark as well, only it looked as if a peculiar, deformed object was blocking the sun.

"In ancient times, the fal'Cie devoured the light, darkness covered the sky, and the earth knew only darkness," Noel explained, running a hand through his hair. "This must be the eclipse."

"You know what this is, kupo?" Mog hovered beside Serah.

"They said five hundred years ago, a massive fal'Cie appeared. For a while, it blotted out the sun and turned everything dark."

A creature big enough to swallow the sun and send the world into darkness—Ashe had never heard of anything like that, even in the stories her brothers would tell her before bed.

"So if that happened five hundred years in your past, then this must be two hundred years into my future," Serah murmured, thinking to herself. "But this eclipse is only affecting a small area… See? It's light out over there."

"It could be a paradox, kupo. We may have fixed the one in the Bresha Ruins, but this place is still in trouble, kupo."

"Then we better check around. Maybe there's someone here we can talk to."

Whenever they could find someone, Ashe doubted they would be of much help. If those soldiers and scientists back in the Bresha Ruins didn't know much about the paradoxes, then surely those in this time period wouldn't either. Then again, this _was_ two hundred years in the future… if anything, they would know more.

Mog, as if he had become accosted to his new companions, chattered nonstop as they walked through the darkness. He said that after he got lost in Valhalla, Lightning found him and challenged him to a duel—a game of rock, paper, scissors. When he lost—Ashe couldn't imagine Lightning even playing that childish game—the warrior asked him to be Serah's 'lucky charm'. The whole thing sounded ridiculous, but Mog was adamant that _it really happened, kupo!_

After hearing from yet another that her sister was still alive, Serah wouldn't stop smiling. Even when a monster jumped out from the shadows, intending to feast on their flesh, she grinned as they defeated it and went on their way. It seemed that nothing could dampen her sunny mood.

They learned from a wandering researcher that this time period was not two hundred years into the future—but seven years. It was the year ten AF.

"This is Yaschas Massif," Serah said, looking over their new map. "The Academy station is just up this hill, here."

"The Academy?" Ashe asked. "I suppose they found what they were looking for in Bresha. Atlas had no affect on them."

Noel stood away from them, still conversing with the scientist.

"What a unique little pet!" the scientist exclaimed when Mog flew over. "Well behaved, too. Is he a monster of some sort?"

Noel grinned. "We call him Piggy Kitty." Mog gave a frustrated squeak when the man laughed.

"Piggy Kitty? What a perfect name!"

Serah and Ashe exchanged looks, but carried on their way. With the map in hand, they found the Academy's research station—right in the ruins of Paddra. It looked like the old temple of Raithwall, a tomb forever encased by rock and sand. Ashe felt a whirlwind of nostalgia rush though her, and she tried her best to keep her emotions bottled up inside. Just the thought of traveling with her old companions made her heart ache. Balthier, Basch, Fran, Vaan and Penelo—it had seemed so simple back then.

She wondered if Balthier felt the same when he walked this path. Even if he had lost his memories, he must have felt some sort of connection.

The moment they stepped down in the crevasse, a clawed arm ripped through the wall and burst forward, revealing a mangled, skeletal face of a monster. Ashe drew her sword and silently chanted a protect spell, but the torrents of wind began to drag her, Serah and Noel into the rift—

A boomerang zoomed out of nowhere, crackling with thunder magick as it slammed against the monster's jaws and whipped through the rift. Noel grabbed both Ashe and Serah and pulled them away from the monster as it faded, becoming nothing more than a glowing crystal laying in the dirt.

"What was that?" Ashe breathed. The boomerang flew back to its master—a man with silver hair, wearing a similar uniform to those of the Academy.

"When monsters like these are cornered, they cause a spacetime vortex to appear," he said, jumping down from the low roof. "An electromagnetic shock usually shuts them down." He suddenly smiled, meeting Serah's gaze. "It's been a while, Serah."

She gasped. "Hope? Is… is that you?"

"I'm grateful you remember me."

Scoffing, Noel moved between them and crossed his arms, looking the man over with little friendliness. "Who's this?"

"Director of Academy Research, Team Alpha. Hope Estheim, at your service." He wore a façade of power and authority, but Ashe could see that behind his stoic expression was a boy who had grown up too quickly. "And you—you two must be Noel and Ashe."

"Nice guess. Who told you?"

"You appeared here with Serah some years ago at the Bresha Ruins. Subsequently, we analyzed the gate and forecast your reappearance at this location." Hope cracked a brief smile, laughing slightly. "To be honest, I didn't really believe that time travel was possible. I knew that people could travel between worlds, but… well, you see my point." He took Serah's hands in his own, relief flooding his pale expression. "I'm really glad you're safe. For me, it's as if time has stopped. Everyone I knew is gone."

Serah smiled faintly. "Hope…"

He let go almost immediately, flustered.

"From your point of view," Noel pointed out, "it's been years since you last saw Serah."

Hope nodded. "But not just Serah. Snow and Balthier as well. And Sazh and his boy. You all disappeared from my life. It's been ten years now."

"I never thought…" Serah began, but the man touched her shoulder.

"When the paradox occurred some years ago, I thought if I could solve it, maybe you would all come back."

The sound of rushed footsteps alerted them that they weren't alone. Alyssa, breathing roughly once she stopped running, gave Hope a disgruntled look.

"Director Hope! There you are! What were you thinking, taking off and leaving me all on my own?"

Again, the little hint of innocence appeared on his features. "I… sorry."

"Oh, it's you guys!" Alyssa jogged up to them, taking them each by the hand and shaking it fiercely in greeting. "When Atlas took you into the paradox, I thought you three were goners!"

"We managed to find a way out," Noel said. "Wasn't too hard."

The girl—woman, now, Ashe realized—grinned.

"Hope, my sister is alive," Serah spoke up. "That's why we're traveling through time. We're going to find Lightning."

"I thought so. It was either that, or… something bad happened to all of you. I remember waking up from crystal stasis with the memory that Lightning saved Cocoon with Fang and Vanille."

"No, she was there after we woke up. Something changed. At first I thought it was a paradox, but… Ashe?"

The named woman stepped forward. "Lightning came to my world shortly after she saved yours. She was searching for Balthier."

"Balthier? Did she remember him?" Hope asked. "It took me a while, but… I began to remember meeting him in the Vestige. He traveled with us and helped us save Cocoon. But, like Lightning, he was gone after Ragnarok came crashing out of the world."

"He returned to Ivalice as well. However…" she cast her eyes toward the black sky. "He was not alone. He harbored the beast Ragnarok in his soul—until Lindzei killed him."

"Lindzei, the god of Cocoon?" Noel spluttered, and everyone looked at him. "I… I heard stories from my grandmother when I was a kid. She said Lindzei went to another world, Ivalice, to free Ragnarok from his human bondage. Things didn't turn out as planned, and both gods died on the supposed Day of Wrath."

"The end of all things," Alyssa murmured, then snickered. "But, really, that's ridiculous. How do you go about killing a _god_?"

Ashe shut her eyes. "When they take human form," she said slowly, "they become vulnerable to even the smallest of diseases. You can kill the most powerful god if they bind themselves to a human soul."

"So, what then? That's how Ragnarok died?"

"Yes, and… and another. Lindzei possessed a man by the name of Mateus and sought to destroy the balance between our worlds, to awaken some 'Maker'."

Hope frowned and clenched his fingers. "Just like Barthandelus."

"After Lindzei's death, Lightning stayed with me. But I believe she came back here to find you, Serah."

"But Balthier's still missing, isn't he?"

"Sounds like it." Noel walked over to Mog and flicked the creature's nose, presumably bored with their discussion. "I thought we'd find him jumping through time, too, trying to find a way to change the future. He sounds like that kind of guy, at least."

"So that means we're all after the same thing." Hope gestured toward the large tent beneath the massive pillar in the temple. "There's something I want to show you. We can continue our conversation there."

* * *

><p>"So you said Ivalice is not so different from Pulse," Alyssa rambled, scratching down notes on her clipboard, "but what about Cocoon? Not today's Cocoon, but the one in the past."<p>

Ashe rubbed her forehead, growing tired of the woman's endless chatter and questions about her home. "I would not know. I have only seen one part of Cocoon and heard many tales from Serah. You would do better to ask Balthier."

The other woman groaned. "Oh, if only he wasn't missing! What does he have to hide, anyway?"

"We all have secrets, and Balthier is no different," Hope said, walking over to the pair. "Come to think of it, he hardly spoke about Ivalice to anyone but Light, Snow and maybe Vanille. We were all too busy to really go into details about where we were from and all that."

"Well you should have listened better, Director Hope!" Alyssa snapped teasingly.

They joined Noel and Serah underneath the tent, where an array of machines clicked and whirred through research data regarding both Pulse and Ivalice. Ashe had to gawk for a moment when she found her own image on the screen, a projection of her marriage to Vayne. She stepped away from the machine, only to bump into Noel, who had apparently been standing behind her the entire time. He gave the projection a slight glare before shutting it off completely.

"Here," Hope called. "This is what lies at the heart of our research." He gestured to a small contraption sitting on the desk, a green machine that spun slowly in its case. "The Oracle Drive. We've been giving it careful study."

"But, how did you—?" Noel started, then stopped abruptly.

"Wait, you know of these devices?"

"Oh, uh… yeah. I've—I've heard of them. In… books and stuff."

Hope looked at him strangely, but turned his attention back to the machine. "The Oracle Drive appears to be some kind of recording apparatus from ancient times. We've excavated a number of these devices. However, the recordings depict… things that cannot be possible. Perhaps you should see for yourselves."

The Oracle Drive lit up at his touch, projecting a hazy and blurry image in the sky. At first there was nothing but static, but then Ashe could almost clearly see the beast Ragnarok jumping down from Cocoon and disappearing in jutting crystal and white light. The image warped into Lightning fighting in an unknown land, beasts battling alongside her as she rode the Eidolon Odin. Then it returned to Cocoon, a crystal pillar standing tall on the plains of Gran Pulse.

When the image fizzled out, Serah couldn't tear her eyes from the sky. Hope leaned against the table.

"The device was excavated from an ancient part of the ruins. We used carbon dating methods to determine the age. The device and the recording stored within are several centuries old."

"But it showed my sister…"

"Someone in the past recorded the vision of the future. Perhaps it was the seeress of Paddra, Yeul, herself. What we're concerned about, however, is this. You'll have to excuse the image quality… and," he narrowed his eyes, fingers reaching for the device. "I'm warning you, what you're going to see… Even I don't know what to make of it."

He activated the device, and Ashe didn't need to guess as to what appeared in the faded projection.

A ship in flames, corridors collapsing as Balthier ran—then the image contorted to show Ashe standing with Lightning, watching Balthier attempt to comfort the struggling man in his arms. Just before the projection flickered out completely, it revealed him to be—

"Snow!" Serah cried, bringing her hands to her mouth. "No, that… that couldn't have been him!"

Hope shook his head. "Snow went missing, too, remember?"

"But he went to look for Lightning!"

All Ashe could think of was how someone—a seeress of Paddra?—saw this vision when it wasn't meant to happen in the first place. How could someone from the past see what was to come? As if he knew exactly what was running through her head, Noel touched Ashe's shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze.

"Serah," she said, voice trembling. "I meant to tell you before, and I should have said something from the start. Snow is dead."


	6. The Seeress and Her Guardian

"Being with you and not being with you is the only way I have to measure time."

—Jorge Luis Borges, _The Threatened_

* * *

><p>That night, as Ashe lie in her cot, she began to regret her words to Serah. Sometimes it was best to not bring depressing news so lightly: to soften the blow meant to hide the truth. Though Ashe had managed to tell Serah about Snow's death, there was one part she refused to reveal.<p>

However, once Serah had tearfully excused herself, Noel turned toward Ashe and gave her an all knowing look. She heard him enter the tent despite how quiet he wanted to be.

"Still awake?" he asked, sliding into her cot. Ashe wrinkled her nose; apparently they didn't have respect for personal space in the future. "Thought so. You're good at masking your emotions, but not _that_ good."

Ashe sighed, rolling over so she could look at the moonlight peering through the fabric. "How is Serah?"

"Hope talked with her a bit. I think she's calm enough to head out in the morning."

She waited a moment, fiddling with the lightning-bolt charm. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"Well, not like you did. That was a little harsh."

"She needed to know—"

"You didn't tell her everything, did you?"

Apparently they could read minds in the future, too. "No, I did not. But that is not something for her to know. It is better she remembers him as how she knew him… not how I knew him."

"Do you… want to talk about it?" he asked, a bit tentative. Ashe smiled faintly. "I-I mean, you don't have to. I was just curious if this had anything to do with your little… 'dream' in the Void."

"You mean Mateus."

"Yeah, that guy. Who is—sorry, who was he?"

She had fought to keep Mateus a secret. Back in Ivalice, they rarely spoke of him, even less than her late husband Vayne. Penelo had not known him, but she had nightmares of Mateus returning and killing them all.

Noel propped himself up, leaning into his palm. "I'm gonna take a wild guess. This Mateus guy was Snow, right? That's how you knew him."

"Yes. That is the name I know him by."

"So what's the deal? He's dead, but you act like he's a ghost and won't leave you alone."

"I'm… not certain if I should tell you, Noel. It would impair your judgment of Snow—"

"C'mon, the guy is dead. I'm not gonna meet him in this life. Whatever you've got to say won't 'impair my judgment', as you put it." He emphasized this by enthusiastically waving his hands until she rolled her eyes. "You know you can talk to me, Ashe. You gotta let out your feelings sometime soon. Because… you can't be strong forever."

'_You're too strong for that, princess…'_

Ashe sat up, wrapping her arms about herself. "Please go, Noel."

"Ashe—"

"Please. I want to be alone."

When he swiftly departed her tent, Ashe curled up in her cot and wordlessly removed her wedding band, turning it over in her palm.

When morning came (though the sky was still dark), the others weren't as lively as Alyssa, who had been prattling nonstop by the time Ashe stepped into the research facility. Hope stared torpidly into his coffee mug, while Serah and Mog dozed on one of the benches. Noel looked up expectantly when Ashe walked past.

"Oh, Ashe, before you guys head out, can I ask you _one_ more question?" Alyssa barged between the pair, nearly knocking Noel over and waving her clipboard excitedly. "It will only take a moment!"

"Well, if you must…"

"Spectacular! It's about what we saw in the Oracle Drive last night."

Serah, rubbing her eyes, barely glanced toward the two women.

"How long ago was that, um… event?"

"Two years. Why?"

"Well, the Director and I were thinking—"

Hope sighed and held up his hand, silencing her. "We're not exactly sure when the paradoxes came to be, but there might be a chance that one of the first appeared when Balthier came to Cocoon. It might have sent a ripple through the timeline."

"So that would mean your late fiancé's appearance in Ivalice may have been due to Balthier's actions in this world," Alyssa finished, smiling proudly. Serah averted her gaze, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes.

"We can't be too sure," Hope interjected. "We won't know anything until all the paradoxes are resolved, including the one that brought Balthier here."

"Then we should get going," Noel growled, sounding both anxious and wary. "We've got our next artefact, thanks to you, so we shouldn't waste anymore time."

"Right. We'll meet back here later."

* * *

><p>"Here, this must be the gate Hope was talking about."<p>

Serah's spirits had brightened once they left the Academy's camp, even going as far as smiling at Ashe and asking if she needed a potion or anything. Noel, on the other hand, had lapsed into a cloud of silence and only spoke when someone addressed him directly. Even Mog's silly antics couldn't cheer him up. So when they finally reached the gate and were ready to head off, Ashe had had enough. She crossed her arms and looked at Noel. He stared back, blinking.

"Yeah? What?"

"There is something on your mind."

"Sure, but it's personal stuff."

_He's getting back at me for last night_, she realized upon turning away. Serah didn't give up so easily.

"Is it about what we learned yesterday?" she asked.

"Sort of."

"It must be so strange, to be able to see beyond your own present…"

Noel scratched his chin idly. "That reminds me of something Lightning told me. She said that from Valhalla, you can see all of history."

"If that's true, then the Paddra seeress and Lightning have seen the same things. Which means: Lightning already knows what is going to happen to us…"

Ashe wondered if that was the reason why Lightning sent Noel to find them. If she already knew of the events to come, was she really trying to prevent them from happening?

"That might be," Noel said impatiently. "Anyway, let's get going."

Serah shook her head. "Oh, right. Sorry, I was… thinking about something."

"Serah, about what we saw in the Oracle Drive—"

"It's okay. I'll be fine."

The journey through the Historia Crux was short, for the artefact brought them to the correct gate. Serah seemed distracted as they passed by other locked gates, staring into them as if she could see which world they led to. The distant, empty look in her eyes worried Ashe, but she chose to stay silent. There was no need for her to pry.

Upon stepping out of the time gate, they found themselves in a world half eaten by the paradox. One half was covered with sand, rusted buildings towering in the distance, while the other half seemed to be melding with the Void. Ashe looked over the edge; if one were to step off into space, they would seemingly fall for eternity…

"What's happening?" Serah asked.

"This world is falling apart and becoming the Void itself," Ashe answered, sighing.

Noel's shoulders slumped. "Is this a future where everything has been destroyed? Or is it a distant past, before the world has even come into being?"

"Spacetime has doubled and twisted on itself," Mog chirped. "The past and future are tangled together as one, kupo."

"The paradox is affecting spacetime itself…"

"Let's go look around, kupo! We'll be sure to find what's causing it!"

Before they had the chance to head out, a golden and white portal opened behind them and, without warning, a hand plunged out and wrapped itself around Noel's ankle, dragging him away from the others. Ashe reached for him, but her fingers merely grazed his before he vanished from sight.

Mog gave a soft whine once the portal faded. "What should we do now, kupo?"

"I'm not so sure… Without Noel, we're at a disadvantage." Serah pouted.

"We should still look around, try to find another portal!"

Unfortunately, there was not much to look at. With most of the world consumed by the paradox, they couldn't walk for more than five minutes without coming across dead end after dead end. Eventually Mog grew tired of flying and plopped onto a rock, expecting Ashe and Serah to join him. Serah hummed to herself, poking at Mog's crystal pom-pom and tickling his toes.

'_Serah, I meant to tell you before, and I should have said something from the start.'_

Closing her eyes, Ashe sat down beside the girl.

'_Snow's dead.'_

'_No! He… he promised he'd come back with my sister! You're lying—Snow wouldn't give up like that!'_

"You and Noel," Serah noted with a sigh. "You're both so 'down in the dumps' today."

"I was merely thinking about what I said to you… about Snow. It was wrong of me to keep that from you."

She stayed silent.

"And I know you don't want to believe me, but that is what happened. The vision we saw in the Oracle Drive is true. Yet… we can still change the past, Serah. When we repair the timeline, perhaps Snow will return. Hope could be right: his appearance in Ivalice might have been because of a paradox."

"So, then… that means my sister will come home, and Balthier as well."

"That's what I'm hoping for."

Serah fiddled with her pendant, then took a deep breath. "Ashe, can you tell me one thing?"

"Yes, anything."

"Snow… he was only trying to save you and the others when he died, right?"

"What do you mean?"

She stood, shaking a bit of dirt from her boots. "It's just a dream I had. There was a man sitting at a desk, talking about his unfaithful wife… and Snow was there, but he wasn't himself. He wore armor, like a knight in those old fairytales." She smiled at this. "But that's all I saw. It was a lot like the dream I had of my sister."

"Why would you question Snow's motives, then?"

"It's just… Snow never exactly stopped for a moment and thought before jumping into a fight. He was always so reckless, and there wasn't a day when I didn't worry about him." She bit her lip. "When he died, it wasn't because of that, was it?"

Ashe wasn't quite sure. If Snow had asked for Lindzei's help in finding Lightning and Balthier, he must not have realized just who the god was. Lindzei might have tricked him, on the other hand…

"When he died, Snow said that saving others was all he ever wanted to do. And that was exactly what he did."

Serah smiled slightly. Suddenly the paradox began to slither away, and revealing the world in its natural state: a city in ruin. They could see Cocoon's crystal beyond the mountains, sparkling in the morning light.

"The village is back to normal, kupo!" Mog piped up, twirling his clock wand. "Noel must have solved the paradox!"

On cue, a portal opened up and tossed Noel back to the ground, then faded from sight. Ashe helped him stand, while Serah began to berate him for leaving them behind.

"Do you know how worried we were? You could have gotten lost!"

"I was hoping to hear 'thank you', but I guess that'll suffice…" he groaned, stretching out his arms. "Anyway, now that's all solved, I bet the paradox in Yaschas Massif is gone, too."

"We should head back, then. The Oracle Drive might be fixed."

Noel cast a sidelong glance to Ashe. "Are you sure you want to see the visions from the seeress?"

"We have to face the truth at some point," Serah answered. "Come on, let's go find the gate."

* * *

><p>The village was the old city of Oerba, the place where Serah's friends Fang and Vanille had lived over five hundred years before the present time. They had become the first l'Cie to be cursed with the Focus of becoming Ragnarok, the destroyer of life itself. That Focus was later given to Serah, who then passed it to Lightning and the others. Balthier was not given the curse of a l'Cie, but he was the true bearer of Ragnarok's burden.<p>

"After Cocoon turned to crystal, Oerba became off limits to civilians," Serah explained as they walked through the village streets. "It's more of a shrine to the saviors of Cocoon, really. Though, I've heard rumors that this place is haunted by the ghost of Ragnarok himself."

Noel snorted, looking down at the flower garden at their feet. "That sounds a little farfetched, if you ask me."

"There's nothing here but old Cie'th and a few monsters. No ghosts, no phantoms… definitely no Ragnarok." Something caught her eye; a contraption sitting atop a pedestal in the garden. "This looks like an Oracle Drive…" She reached toward it, eyes wide with curiosity.

"_Stop_."

A soft, but sharp voice startled her, but it was too late. Serah's fingers grazed the machine and soon the sky lit up with hazy images of the past.

Cocoon's newly formed crystal towered above the l'Cie. They heard Lightning chuckle as Snow promised he would take care of Serah, make her happy. Ashe had only seen Lightning smile a few times since they had met, but seeing the woman smile so genuinely… it was a surprisingly sight.

"_I believe you_," Lightning said. "_Congrats._"

The image fizzled, crackling and contorting into another world. Balthier awoke with a choked gasp, clenching the lightning-bolt charm in his clawed, trembling fingers. Red clouds filtered through his pupils. When the beast Ragnarok arched his back and roared, the projection froze.

"The prophecy," Serah whispered. "It's been changed!"

"But that's impossible…" Noel murmured.

A dark figure stood behind the projection, wielding a deformed blade, and shrouded by clouds of shadows. "If you change the future, you change the past. That change is constant." Smirking, the man turned and sliced through the image of Ragnarok, then jumped down before the three. Noel growled.

"Caius…"

"I have seen you," came the soft voice. "I have seen you all."

Noel whipped around, rushing to the young girl and grasping her by the shoulders. "Yeul?" he asked, anticipation and disbelief lining his voice.

Her blue eyes merely looked through him, as if he wasn't even there. "I am not the Yeul you know." Brushing past him, she went to Caius's side, regarding the two women with a small frown.

"You must understand," Caius spoke. "There are many Yeuls."

Ashe scowled, but Serah stepped forward. "Wait… I saw you. My sister was fighting you!"

"I learned of your journey, leaping back and forth along the timeline. Yeul has been watching everything you do." When Noel shook his head, Caius smirked. "I see you understand the significance of that. Then you must also understand that I am here for a reason. Your actions have necessitated the strictest sanctions."

The eye on the blade's hilt began to glow, flickering with red—

_Red._

"That eye…" Ashe muttered. "I've seen it before."

"I would imagine so. The eye of Ragnarok."

Her fingers curled into fists as she reached for her sword. "You…"

"Enough. You shall pay for your crimes in blood."

Noel jumped in front of her before Caius could strike, the ragnarok blade clashing with his dual swords. Serah, too, raised her bow and arrow, scowling at the man her sister once fought. Heart pounding, Ashe joined Noel and cast a protect spell over them both, channeling her inner mage and praying to the goddess.

All the while, the girl called Yeul watched with a blank, foreboding gaze. As she tried to keep up with Caius's endless parries and attacks, Ashe heard Yeul's quiet voice amongst the flurry of magick and chaos.

'_Ragnarok took wing; and made to smite Cocoon, and thereby deliver us our everlasting peace. But her Providence would not let it be.'_

Caius swung his sword and knocked Serah off her feet, chuckling as she tried to heal herself.

'_The goddess pitied the fools who so blindly bowed to Lindzei's will—'_

Wincing, Serah stood and aimed her bow toward Caius, but another burst of magick sent her to the ground. Ashe quickly went to her aid, grabbing the girl's arm and healing whatever wounds she could find. Once they both were back on their feet, Yeul smiled faintly.

'—_and so She robbed Ragnarok of power, putting the l'Cie to an early crystal sleep, Focus yet incomplete.'_

Yeul met Ashe's gaze.

"Look out!" Noel shouted, but a wave of black magick consumed him, then Ashe and Serah.

Struggling to stay awake, Ashe peeled her eyes open, straining against the bright light pouring from the sun. Serah lie unconscious at her side, a dazed Mog curled in her arms. The only one completely conscious was Noel, who staggered to his feet and glared at Caius.

"Stop this, Caius," he spat, blood dripping from his lips. "I'm not going to fight you!"

"Times have changed," Caius replied, raising the ragnarok blade. The red eye flickered with little life. "I am not the Caius you once knew. To change history is a sin."

A faint gasp filtered through the air, and Yeul turned toward her guardian, holding a single daisy in his hands. "It's too late," she whispered. "The timeline has already changed."

Caius bowed his head. "But, must we accept this, Yeul?"

She nodded, a motion that even reassured Ashe. The girl's gaze alighted to the three just as Serah awoke. "If you change the future, you change the past. You can remold history as your heart desires."

"Let's go now, before you are made to witness more."

A golden portal, much like the one to the Void, opened up near the end of the garden. The pair walked toward it, but Ashe stood and called out, "Wait!" Caius turned his head, blue eyes studying her tense expression. "Ragnarok… what did you do to Ragnarok?"

"I defeated the god and took his soul, binding it to this sword. But you are not worried about the beast; you fear for his host."

How did he—?

"I defeated him as well."

Then they were gone.


	7. A Common Goal

This was _so_ hard to write. It took me days to just muster up enough willpower to type out Hope's little rant session #2. But now that this chapter is done (sorry if this one is a little on the boring side), we're at the good (the best, in my opinion) part of the story. You'll probably understand why once you're done reading this one. :D

Thank you to **Anon** and **hateyuforever** for reviewing the previous chapter. I promise things will get exciting from this point onward. (Mu already knows, don't you? ;D)

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><p>"Ashe…" Serah's arms snaked their way around her shoulders, pulling Ashe into a warm embrace. "It'll be okay, you'll see."<p>

Was it going to be _okay_? Ragnarok had died two years before, yet his soul had been trapped in a sword. Balthier had vanished as well, so what if—what if that man was right? What if Balthier…

"An artefact, kupo!" Mog exclaimed, fluttering over to the bright red crystal sitting in the bed of daisies. "We can unlock the next gate now, kupo!"

Noel took the crystal from him and stared at it, brows furrowed in thought. "What did Caius want?" he growled. "He shouldn't be here…"

"That man," Serah said, moving away from Ashe. "I've seen him in a dream."

"I thought I recognized him, but I don't think he's the man I used to know. He couldn't be here, not in this time. And Ashe: you shouldn't believe him."

_I… shouldn't?_ She had no idea if Balthier, or Lightning, or _her friends_ were still alive. She abandoned her friends when they needed her, all to chase ghosts and pathetic memories of someone she thought to love. There was no proof, no tiny inclination that Balthier and Lightning even wanted her help, just words from a boy—

"Listen to me, Ashe," Noel said, grasping her shoulders. "Caius was lying. He lied about your friend, about Yeul—"

"But he knew Balthier played host to Ragnarok's soul," she retorted sharply. "There are very few who know that."

"But you think he's still alive, and that's all that matters."

Serah bit her lower lip and peered around his shoulders. "I don't think Balthier would lose so easily," she said. "If my memories of him are anything to go by, he's almost as tough as my sister."

"Lightning is strong, kupo," Mog piped, "so Balthier must be strong, too!"

* * *

><p>When the gate to the Historia Crux closed behind them, Ashe expected to walk into the grassy cliffs of Yaschas Massif, to be greeted by Hope and Alyssa again. However, the three found themselves standing in an entirely different place, a world shrouded in shadows with what appeared to be very little life. Beside her, Noel gave a small sigh.<p>

"This place again?"

"Is this where I think it is?" Serah asked, looking toward the crystal throne that sat at the other end of the crumbling platform. It had an otherworldly glow about its shimmering features.

"What, you mean Valhalla? No, something's different. This isn't Valhalla. It might look like it, but it's not the same."

Humming softly, Mog flew around, examining every crack and crevasse of the pillars and tiled floor. "This is the Void Beyond, kupo. A shadow of Valhalla itself."

"Same place we ended up earlier when Atlas dragged us from the ruins," Noel pointed out. "And the same place that portal took me to before Caius and Yeul showed up. We'll just take the gate back and go from there."

Serah smiled and sat down on one of the collapsed pillars, patting Mog's head. "I need a break. Finding my sister isn't going to be easy."

A pensive look on his face, Noel joined her and shrugged. "We had a legend back home, about a goddess… We hunters passed the story down, from father to son. It gave us strength when times were rough."

"What was it?"

"Never give up, for the goddess Etro watches always, and helps those who help themselves."

The girl stifled a laugh, bringing her gloved hand to her mouth. "It's not much of a legend, is it? It sounds more like common sense to me."

Etro was the goddess of death. Her father had abandoned her, left her to die in hopes of cheating death—Lightning had talked much about the legend back on Ivalice. And Balthier…

"What's wrong?" Noel asked, tilting his head. "Not losing you, are we, Ashe?"

"No, I… I was just thinking. The goddess Etro," she said, "she helps those who ask for her aid, yes?"

"Sure. She might be the goddess of the dead, but she seems nicer than she sounds. Why'd you ask?"

She fiddled with the lightning-bolt charm, momentarily mesmerized at how it shone. "It's something Balthier said to me before he left. He said that Lightning wasn't the only one the goddess employed, and that he was about to change fate for someone else."

"Sounds a little vague to me. Maybe he's jumping through time like us, trying to fix the past." Noel frowned, narrowing his eyes. "You know, I'm not sure what to think about him. He up and left after his friend died, never left you any kind of message… It's like he expects you to come find him. It's suspicious."

"Well, I didn't ask for your opinion," she snapped. "I trust Balthier more than anyone. When he chooses to go on his own, so be it. I will wait until he feels that he is ready to come home."

A faint look of disappointment and hurt flickered in his eyes, but Noel stood up and briskly went to the gate. "All right, then. Let's think of it this way: with every gate we find, we're a step closer to Lightning and Balthier. Sound good?"

Just the mere mention of her sister had Serah grinning. "Yeah!"

As soon as they found the correct gate rather than another fool's façade, the feeling of fear and worry began to creep up on Ashe. If their actions in Oerba had changed the past, where would that leave Hope and Alyssa? Caius and Yeul said that when you changed the future, you also changed the past…

It appeared that neither Noel nor Serah were worried about it. They talked about seeing Lightning again, and even expressed interest in seeing Ivalice.

"Your palace must be beautiful, Ashe," Serah said, gliding alongside her. "Though I'm not so sure about the desert…"

"It wasn't much to look at," Noel muttered. "So I wasn't all that impressed."

By the time they found the gate to Yaschas Massif, Ashe was ready to rest for the night. However, it appeared to be mid afternoon rather than night on Pulse. The sun warmed the landscape, now bright and lively, while the researchers of the Academy studied and examined the wildlife. If the Academy was still around, she wondered if Hope and Alyssa were there as well.

They did find someone they didn't expect to see. The girl named Yeul waited for them outside the camp, a veil covering her jaw. She left a cryptic message for Serah, claiming that they were the same and could show others the way. Once she departed, Noel became more and more isolated, even going off on his own for a short while.

Hope and Alyssa were waiting for them. Because they had resolved the paradox, their memories of their earlier reunion had also been erased. After some brief introductions, Hope brought them to the main tent.

"I want to show you something, but… you might not like it."

He activated the Oracle Drive, though this time the images were much clearer. Again they saw Lightning fighting in some unknown land, raising her gunblade and clashing swords with the ragnarok blade. The projections shifted to the events on the _Shiva_, and Noel scowled when Ashe's tear streaked face appeared.

"_What am I?_" Snow asked. "_The hero… or the villain?_"

The image cut to Balthier holding the dying man in his arms. Lightning stood over them, fingers clenched into fists.

"_Balthier, I'm not leaving you here, too._"

"_I'm not leaving, Lightning._"

A flash. Lightning stood in the Resistance's hideout, closing her eyes as Balthier walked away.

"_You'll find your way home someday, Lightning. I just won't be with you._"

When the image faded, Ashe crossed her arms. "It's a vision of the past."

Hope turned. "Oh?"

"After Snow's death, Balthier went off on his own and left Lightning behind. She stayed with me until she decided to return home. But… she must have ended up in Valhalla instead."

"Lightning is alive in that place. In my memory, Lightning disappeared after the battle with Orphan. But she's living somewhere in the future."

"So it's not just a dream, is it?" Serah asked.

"She's out there."

The girl nodded. "Then I'm going to find her."

"And you will find her, Serah. After all, you traveled through time and found me." A smile crept across his lips. "Many years of research have finally borne fruit. It all began with the Oracle Drive. We excavated it from ruins many centuries old… yet it recorded an image of Cocoon supported on a pillar of crystal. It was an impossibility; an enigma. Impossible, but a reality, nonetheless. If it was possible to journey through time and look into the future, then it must also be possible to travel backwards and change the past."

If they could change the past, and if there was some gate connected to Ivalice, perhaps she could stop Lightning from leaving that day. If Lightning never left…

"I wanted to change history," Hope continued, "and make things better. Not just bring Lightning back, but Vanille and Fang… and my mother."

"So that's what your research was about," Serah realized.

"Chasing the impossible, you might say, but you guys have made me realize something. It's clear to me now that we are not the only ones who are intervening in history. The past has already been changed. Serah, you are the only one who remembers a time when Lightning survived the fall of Cocoon, a time when Balthier helped us save our world."

Alyssa, who had been noticeably absent from the conversation, whipped around the moment the Oracle Drive began to glow a second time. "Director!" she cried.

Like before, the images were still a bit unclear, and Ashe thought they were all just repeated visions of the past, yet…

She saw Lightning fighting in Valhalla—the crystallized Cocoon falling to the ground and shattering—a body being lowered in the water—

—_and Balthier_. Balthier, lost in time, standing before a glowing door with a sword in hand.

This was not the past.

This was the future.

"What happened?" Alyssa stammered once the images faded. "Did the prophecy get rewritten?"

"Not necessarily rewritten," Hope replied, quickly taking notes on what they saw. "It could be the original prophecy, restored to what it once was. Perhaps it's a continuation of the first recording."

"If this is showing us the future, then someday Cocoon will fall." The wheels were turning inside Serah's head. "Noel, you told us in your time, Cocoon won't exist like it does now."

He nodded. "Yeah, it fell long before I was born. After it happened, the whole world just fell apart pretty much."

This was all too much. When Ashe joined Noel and Serah on this journey, she didn't think the fate of the world rested in their hands. Cocoon meant nothing to her. As for Ivalice, she doubted the destruction of one world would affect another. Unless… unless Ivalice had already been destroyed, leaving Cocoon and Pulse to meet the same fate.

"But who made it fall?" Serah asked. "Could it have been Caius?"

"No, he couldn't do that." Noel smirked for a moment. "It could be that Balthier guy that takes it down."

Hope appeared startled by this, but Ashe pushed past him and faced Noel, fingers curled into fists. "He would never do such a thing!"

"Would he?" A cold, harsh look entered his eyes. "You can never truly know a person, even someone you love."

_You can never know another—_

"When is Cocoon supposed to fall?" Alyssa whined, pressing her hands to her cheeks in worry. "How many years? Is it soon?"

Noel regained composure and crossed his arms. "No. Not for another couple centuries."

The young researcher sighed exasperatedly. "Oh, that's a long time from now. I mean, none of us'll even be alive to see it."

"But others _will_," Serah retorted. "Cocoon will fall into Gran Pulse. Imagine the catastrophe. Think of how many lives will be destroyed. All the people, families, children…"

"Right. And that's the future I lived in," Noel added.

"It doesn't have to happen! We can change the future. We can stop Cocoon from falling and make the world a better place!"

Alyssa sauntered past, a sly expression on her face. "Yeah, but how? You think you can go to the time when it falls and hold it up yourselves? Do you even have a gate to get you there?"

"It might not be necessary to travel to a specific time and place." Hope stood from the desk and held out his notes. "The future depends on what we do now, right? Yes, there is a chance Cocoon will fall, but we can start working now to prevent it from happening."

"But humans only live so long," Ashe said quietly. "Hope, I know you mean well, but you can't possibly live long enough to save Cocoon."

"We can at least work to mitigate the damage. If we begin our research now, we have time. Then, should Cocoon indeed fall, we can help protect the planet and save the victims."

"All right, then. Let's do it," Noel agreed. "We can try to solve things at the other end, in the future… while you start preparing in the here and now."

"Yes. Let's change the future."

Serah turned her gaze to the sky. "If you change the future…"

The glazed, entranced look worried Ashe. She reached over and touched the girl's arm, shaking her slightly. "Serah?"

She shook her head and smiled. "It's nothing. Thank you for the help, Hope."

He seemed uneasy, but returned her smile with his own. "Time will separate us, but we'll share a common goal."

_Hope dreamed of changing the past. The weight of history drove him forward. But now, he's turning to face the future, a future even more frightening than the past. Ashe, do you believe, too? Do you believe in your own past?_

* * *

><p>The gate in Yaschas Massif took them back to the Bresha Ruins, five years in the past. All the researchers and Academy soldiers, and Alyssa, were surprised to see them back so soon. Atlas was gone, and the Academy could continue their research as planned.<p>

"You're looking for an artefact?" the past Alyssa asked. She reached into her pack and pulled out a small crystal heart. "We found this by another gate, just down those stairs."

Mog gave a chirp of joy as Alyssa gave the crystal to Ashe. It felt cold, almost as if it would freeze her skin like ice. Closing her eyes, she tucked the artefact into her pocket and quietly thanked the girl, and soon the three were on their way.

"I hope this gate takes us to right where Lightning is waiting," Serah said, crossing her arms behind her back. "Just seeing her once will make things better."

"Who knows where we'll end up. Maybe… maybe we'll even go to Ivalice." Noel smirked, wrapping an arm around Ashe's shoulders. "You know, we could even meet some of Ashe's friends."

"Or maybe we'll see Ashe when she was younger!"

"I would rather not…" she replied, inching out of Noel's grasp. "There's the gate up ahead. Let's try to keep our focus on the task at hand."

As she walked up to the time gate, she heard Noel mutter, "Huh. Guess someone's in a dark cloud again…"

The time gate responded to the artefact, and the wheels began to turn. Ashe could smell the jungles of Golmore, the musty dirt and the dewy leaves. She could almost see the earthy glow reflecting in the time gate.

Serah suddenly gasped, pressing a hand over her heart.

"It can't be…" she whispered, eyes wide in terror. Noel grasped her shoulders.

"Serah? Don't tell me you're having visions…"

She shook her head and bit her lower lip. "No, I… I'm just really tired. Maybe we should… rest when we get there."

Though Noel looked at her, brows furrowed in concern, they stepped into the time gate and into the next world.

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><p>If you've played through the gamewatched walkthroughs like me... then you know what's coming next. ;) Review?


	8. Oathbrand

Funny how randomly you get inspired to work on fanfiction. I've been writing this chapter for weeks, it feels, and just yesterday I got motivated to finish this part. I guess writing a really pissed off Ashe wasn't appealing to me for a while...

Anyway. This is definitely one of my favorite chapters so far, for... many reasons. Obvious reasons. Mu knows what I'm talking about._  
><em>

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><p><em>Each reunion is a twist of the knife. The joy is ephemeral; it leaves fear in its wake… A fear that all too soon the time will come when you must bid farewell again. Yet you cannot help but long for the next encounter. Humanity's great frailty… We prefer past happiness to future uncertainty. <em>

This was not Ivalice.

In Golmore, you could not see the sky. The trees were so overgrown that it looked like a different world entirely. But here—the Sunleth Waterscape, as Serah explained—she could see the sky. She could see part of Cocoon's crystal embedded in the bark. A bit disappointed that she wasn't home, Ashe went toward Noel and Serah, though the two appeared to be distracted by something below the cliff. Hundreds of miniflan appeared out of nowhere and gathered in small groups, all heading toward some unknown destination to the north.

"So this is what the end of the world looks like," Noel murmured, standing straight. Mog gave a quiet whine of discomfort.

"Are they going to destroy the planet?" Serah wondered worriedly.

"I don't know. But if the world does end here… my future should never have happened. Which means there must be a way to stop them."

He seemed so set on saving the future, something that Ashe wasn't quite ready to face. It felt as if the fate of the world was in their hands. Hope's vision of saving Cocoon seemed too farfetched to be a reality, and when both Noel and Serah agreed to help, Ashe realized that she was an outsider. This place, this world was not hers. Ivalice was just a distant memory, a place that no one else truly knew about.

She wondered if Balthier felt the same way, too, when he traveled to Cocoon the first time.

Sometime when Ashe wasn't looking, Serah had collapsed. Noel held her, trying his best to wake her up as she lie in his arms. The girl's feeble voice, once her eyes began to open, was barely audible against the constant chirps from the wildlife.

"The pillar crumbles to ashen sand, and down to earth the cocoon does fall."

Noel was in a panic. "What? Serah, wake up. Serah—"

Her eyes flew open, then—

"_No_!"

Serah, without any warning, shoved Noel away and bolted into the forest, Mog zooming after her in worry. Shouting to the girl, Noel stumbled to his feet and watched her disappear into the distance with a fearful, disturbed look on his face.

"What did she see?" he murmured. "A vision…? Does Serah have the same power as Yeul?"

"The seeress?" Ashe asked, but Noel shook his head. "You don't remember?"

"I'm not sure. Let's just find Serah, okay?"

"Noel—"

He grabbed her hand and began to run, oblivious to the shadow looming over them as they drew closer to Serah's location. Something gurgled and growled, and the air smelled of mold and grime, much like the sewers beneath Rabanastre. Ashe pinched her nose as Noel finally stopped running, too awestruck to move.

"That's one big monster…"

Big was an understatement. A massive, bulbous flan sat in the clearing, slimy arms waving against the trees and parts of Cocoon's crystal. For the time being, it paid no notice to Serah, who crouched over a man's body in the grass, desperately shaking his shoulder. As Ashe and Noel drew closer, they could hear her shaky voice.

"Snow! Snow, please, wake up!"

Ashe froze in her tracks.

"I—I can't believe it," Serah stammered as Snow's eyes fluttered open. He reached up and gingerly touched her cheek, regarding her as if she wasn't really there, his bright eyes wide in disbelief.

"Serah? Am I… dreamin' again?" He shook his head, smiling briefly before staggering to his feet. "Dream or not, you've gotta get out of here!"

Serah began to frantically look around, hoping to lead him away from danger, but the monstrous flan had other plans for them. It swung its slimy arms at the pair, and Snow barely turned around in time to take the blunt of the blow. His boots skid across the grass, kicking up dirt as he strained to keep the arm away from Serah and Ashe.

"Snow!" Serah cried. The man grinned widely.

"Get going—I'll catch up with you, I promise!"

"_I'll find you. I promise I won't forget about you, my Lady. But this is truly for the best."_

Noel dove past them, raising his hands and shooting a flare spell at the flan's arms. He sent a worried glance toward Ashe before turning his attention back to the flan.

"It just won't stay dead," Snow murmured, cracking his knuckles.

"Then let's go!" Noel snapped before dashing off into the bushes. The other man smirked, but before he could take another step, Serah grabbed his hand and chased after Noel and Ashe. Once they found a secluded area, a small clearing near the edge of Sunleth, Noel wasted no time and seized Snow by the front of his coat.

"Listen: hotheads who can't back down don't last long on this planet."

Keeping quiet, Ashe settled down next to Mog on the grass, twirling the lightning-bolt charm around her fingers. Serah tried to get between the two, her blue eyes darting between their faces.

Snow shoved Noel away and shrugged. "Maybe. But sometimes you've gotta make a stand."

"You're not listening to me. Humans aren't strong," Noel growled, glancing at Ashe. "They die easy."

"Well, some of us are tougher than others. Anyway, thanks for the help. You got a name?"

The boy curled his fingers and whipped around, lips pursed in a firm scowl. "This is Noel," Serah stammered, then moved next to Snow and held his hand. "And this is Snow. We're getting married!"

Ashe looked up.

"That's on hold for now," Snow said a bit too nonchalantly. Serah averted her eyes and stepped away.

"You know, somehow I didn't expect you to be such a hothead." Noel began to pace across the grass. "All I hear is what a great guy Snow is. And look where you are, all the way in the future."

"I'm sorry; who's the hothead? What were you thinkin', bringing Serah out here?"

"She's been looking for _you_," Ashe whispered. She could feel his cold gaze on her, trying to pull her apart to see just what was on her mind. He might have been concerned, even, but she knew it was all a mask.

"Hey…" Snow said after a moment. "I know you. You're Balthier's girl."

"What?"

He laughed, scratching the back of his neck. "He used to talk about you in his sleep. Not too sound weird or anything, but, uh… I'm starting to think he was in love with you."

She ignored the way Noel seemed to fume at this. "You remember Balthier?"

"Of course I do! Me and Balthier are partners."

For a moment, she was relieved to find someone who knew Balthier, someone who believed that he was still somewhere out there. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to even consider thanking him. She just wanted to know: _how was he still alive?_

"Snow, when was the last time you saw Balthier?" Serah asked quietly. Fear danced in her eyes.

"Three years ago. Why?"

And so Serah and Noel explained their situation. Snow was quiet the entire time, rarely showing any expression but concern, especially when Serah mentioned her dreams about Lightning in Valhalla. He did, however, smile briefly when Noel said how they'd already met up with Hope ten years into their future.

"And that's how we got here," Serah finished. "We've been traveling through time for a few days now. We haven't made much progress in finding a way to stop Cocoon from falling, though… or finding my sister."

Snow only nodded.

"Now it's your turn," Noel said sharply. "Why did you up and leave Serah? What are you doing, fighting here in the future? Better yet, why aren't you dead?"

"Noel!" Serah exclaimed. "That's really not important—"

"You really wanna know?" Snow unfolded his arms, calmly sighing. "Lightning appeared in my dreams, too. Can you believe it? She told me I had to protect Cocoon. Make amends."

"Amends for what?"

"Don't know. But you're right, Noel. I should be dead right now."

Serah brought her hands to her lips, whispering a soft "no". Snow smiled sadly at her, and Ashe had to shut her eyes. Mateus used to give her when she talked about Balthier, about how she knew he was still alive. Back then, he was the only one who believed her.

"It's all right, Serah. I'm back. Not entirely sure how I came back to life, though. I remember feeling like I'd been asleep for a really long time." He nodded toward the sky. "After my death, I lived in the beyond, behind the Door of Souls. The Invisible World."

"What?" Noel's eyes widened. "You—you _lived_ back there?"

"Okay, not actually 'lived', but you get what I mean." Snow laughed uneasily. "Anyway, you won't believe what I saw back there. All those stories? There _is_ an afterlife, a place where just about everyone who's died can live together. I saw so many people from my life that had died… my parents, Purgees, even Hope's mom, Nora, was there."

"Was Lightning there?" Serah eagerly asked.

"No. That's how I know she's still alive." His expression softened as he looked up toward the clouds in the sky. "She and Balthier… they're still out there. I've gotta find 'em."

Ashe felt her blood go cold. Mateus had been after both Balthier and Lightning, and if he was still looking for them, he must have wanted to finish what he'd started. He already killed Ragnarok. Balthier and Lightning were next on his list. Just as Ashe stood, fingers reaching for her sword, Noel swiftly moved in front of her.

"So, what? You just magically came back to life?" he snapped. "I doubt that."

"Well, like I said, Lightning came into my dreams and said I needed to start over. After that," he yawned slightly and stretched his arms, "I woke up in some place called the Void. So I started jumping through time, checking things out. I learned that the giant jelly bean back there knocks Cocoon down."

"You mean the flan we just fought? According to the stories I heard, back in my own time, Cocoon was brought down by war."

"There's more than just one cause. Did'ya see what it was doin', that flan? It's melting the crystal of the pillar, bit by bit."

"But Vanille and Fang," Serah whimpered, "they're inside it!"

"Yeah. So Cocoon starts to get unstable. People feel the tremors and begin to panic. Next thing you know, everyone's fightin' each other."

"It's consistent with what I know… sort of," Noel murmured. He tapped a finger to his chin, repeatedly glancing between the crystal embedded in the trees and the flan in the distance.

"I can't believe Lightning appeared in your dreams as well," Serah said, taking Snow's hands in her own. "She told you to make amends, so she must want you to save Vanille and Fang."

He pulled away, a glimmer of uncertainty flashing in his gaze. "Like I said, sometimes you've gotta make a stand. I don't have a choice."

Ashe was more than ready to move on and forget that any of this had happened, but once Serah and Noel heard that Fang and Vanille were in danger, they agreed to put their search for Lightning on hold and stay in Sunleth to help Snow get rid of the flan.

"Right now it's Fang and Vanille who really need our help," Snow said. "I'm sure Light wouldn't mind… in fact, she'd probably hit me if I ditched them just to help her out."

She couldn't contain her anger much longer. Keeping her gaze to the ground, she stood and stepped up beside Noel. "And Balthier?" she asked.

Snow sighed. "I… I don't know. The last thing I remember of him is right before Cocoon turned to crystal. He was with us—Light, Hope and Sazh. We were all together, but then he just… vanished."

"Just like my sister," Serah pointed out.

"I lost my memories of him for a while. After I left on my search for Lightning, I began to remember him, too. Then…" He looked down at his gloved hands, fingers twitching slightly. "Maybe that was the exchange when I came back: my memory of how I died for everything I knew about Balthier."

"Why would you do that?" Ashe snapped. "If you knew how you died—"

"I'd rather remember him than my own death."

* * *

><p>Serah figured out that the mass of miniflan might have been caused by a paradox in another time, which only meant that they needed to find an artefact to unlock the next gate. She and Snow walked ahead with Mog, probably talking about all they'd missed over the past three years, or about how they'd missed each other more than anything. Ashe hung back, watching the pair disdainfully.<p>

"Ashe?" Noel jogged to keep up with her, a worried look on his face. "Why didn't you tell him? About how he died."

"If he doesn't want to remember, then I will not say a word. It is better he find out on his own," she replied softly. "Why he's still alive baffles me, but… there's nothing I can do to change the past."

"You think Lightning had a hand in it?"

She shook her head. "No. Bringing Snow back to life was the last thing on her mind. It must have been Etro."

"Ashe, you know what the price is to revive the dead. A life for a life. Whoever asked Etro to bring Snow back probably isn't alive anymore."

"We don't know that."

"And what about your friend? You said Balthier went to see Etro. So what if—"

"Balthier would _never_ give his life to save a monster like Mateus," Ashe spat, turning on her heel to face the boy. "Not after what he did to me, to Ragnarok… Whoever brought him back was a damned fool, and if the price to pay was death, then I am glad they are gone. Anyone who asks for the goddess's aid deserves that end."

Noel's gaze hardened. "What if you're wrong, Ashe, and Balthier did sell his soul? Aren't you going to save him? I thought he was the most important person in your life."

"He is. But I trust him to do what is right."

He scoffed and began to walk away. "So he leaves you to go chase ghosts, keeps secrets from you—and yet you still love him. Sounds like a crummy relationship to me."

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><p>Review? ;)<p> 


	9. Trust

First off, I want to apologize for the wait on this chapter. I had the most challenging time working out a few specific scenes, to the point where I rewrote one five times and pretty much gave up after a while. But, thankfully I seem to have beaten writer's block for now.

We're introduced to a new character in this chapter, though he might not be "new" if you've read the series **Eternally Cursed**. ;)

Thanks to **The Giant Daifuku** and **Envy** for reviewing the previous chapter. Big thanks to my friends on tumblr for pushing me through this chapter. I'm so glad you guys are willing to put up with my never ending rants about my muses and the like. :D

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><p>When they were with Hope in Yaschas Massif, there was hardly time for idle chit chat and smiles. They had to save the world, save the future and stop Cocoon from falling. Hope was a researcher, the <em>Director <em>of the Academy. He had little to no time to spend catching up with Serah, or to really introduce himself to Ashe and Noel. There was always something going on.

Perhaps that was why Ashe found herself disliking the Sunleth Waterscape. The forest and its inhabitants were untamed, and the air smelled like Ivalice, like home, always fresh and clean. Yet, as Ashe followed the others around, she almost felt bored. Her boredom, however, was easily overcome by another, even less pleasant feeling.

Here, unlike in Yaschas Massif, they had time to talk. They had time for introductions, for idle chit chat and smiles. Serah spent most of the day talking with Snow, asking him all about his travels as he looked for her sister. Noel, though uneasy, was eager to meet someone new. As he had mentioned, he was the last person alive in his time. Seeing and meeting new people made him as happy as he could be.

"I'll have to introduce you to Fang and Vanille sometime," Snow said with a grin as they walked down the narrow path. "You and Ashe remind me of them."

The boy tilted his head. "How so?"

"Well, they were born on Gran Pulse," Serah explained, letting Mog sit on her shoulder. "Back then, on Cocoon, that was really unusual. That's kind of like Balthier, too, right?"

"Yeah." Snow laughed faintly. "No one had even heard of Ivalice. Everyone called him 'the outsider' for a while. But he never let it get to him; always had a smirk on his face."

Noel turned slightly, crossing his arms behind his head. "Well, what do you know: we have things in common, Ashe."

"Is that supposed to mean something?" she spat. She covered her lips, trying to think of some way to apologize, but it was too late. Noel might have smiled at her, but his eyes screamed hurt.

"No, I guess not."

From that point on, only Snow would talk to her without fearing that she'd rip him to shreds and curse him for looking her way. Serah, Noel and even little Mog thought twice before asking Ashe a question. But not Snow. He'd ask her the silliest things. How long had she been in Pulse and Cocoon? Had she met the rest of NORA? Had she been to see Fang and Vanille yet? Strangely enough, and much to her surprise, he never asked about Balthier. Not even how much he meant to her.

She didn't understand. The Deathbringer sword killed Lindzei, just as Snow intended, and while it didn't kill him right away, he died not long after, almost as if he'd lost the will to live. Yet from what she observed, Snow was happy. Happy to be alive, to be with Serah again…

Something wasn't right. His mannerisms now were similar to when he was Mateus: false smiles, shifty glances toward the sky, and long lapses of silence. Serah didn't seem to notice, but she never knew Mateus. She wasn't able to see his other side with the way he tried to hide it. To Serah, Snow hadn't changed at all. He was just his usual reckless self, according to her.

Ashe had to admit; reckless was an understatement.

"You know, if you keep throwing yourself in the middle of danger," Noel said as he watched Serah heal a nasty gash on Snow's arm, "you might not get back up again."

"Sounds just like Light, always getting after me if things got bad in the group." Snow grinned. "Someone's gotta save the day. Might as well be me."

"Then who's going to save you whenever you get into trouble?"

The man thought for a moment, scratching his chin. "Good question. I have absolutely no idea."

"And here I thought the leading man would come to the hero's rescue," Serah teased lightly.

"Hey, whenever Balthier chooses to show up, you know he'll make some sort of dramatic entrance."

It didn't take long for Noel to get into trouble himself. He caught sight of an artefact and went bounding off on his own, crossing paths with a not too happy group of miniflan. After being rescued by Ashe, his ego seemed to take a slight hit and he stayed silent until they acquired the artefact.

"This is crystal, too," he noted, looking over the crystallized aqua wings.

"I've seen crystals like this before," Snow murmured. "Right, Serah? You remember, don't you?"

She nodded. "I remember… I cried a crystal tear."

That was right—Serah had been crystal a few years ago when Balthier was on Cocoon. Strange how he never mentioned that, or how Lightning and the others were cursed to meet the same dreadful fate.

"Serah, you know what it's like, don't you?" Noel asked. "Being turned to crystal."

"Yes, I know. It was the scariest, loneliest moment of my life," she replied, tilting her chin downward. Ashe glanced toward Snow, only to find him wearing a similar downcast expression. Serah caught this too and went to him, grabbing his hands and smiling. "It's all right. You know, I think I dreamed the whole time. But they were good dreams, dreams about turning back to normal and being with my friends again."

Snow looked toward the sky, smiling faintly. "I hope that's true. I hope Fang and Vanille are dreaming right now. I hope they're happy in there."

Lightning had been a l'Cie, just like Serah, Fang, Vanille, Hope… and Snow. But only Fang and Vanille became crystal, and the others were alive and well. Ashe thought about her dream, the one where she found Balthier's crystallized body in a land of white light. He wasn't a l'Cie, yet there he was. A crystal. True, the dream was probably only her imagination, but she couldn't help but wonder: where was he now?

* * *

><p>"Hey, Ashe, right?" Snow jogged to keep up with her, grinning even when she sent him a stubborn glare. Noel, Serah and Mog were just ahead, inspecting a time gate sitting below a tangle of vines. "Can I ask you something?"<p>

"You just did."

His smile fell. "Ouch. No wonder you and Balthier get along so well… Anyway, I don't know how to say this without sounding awkward, but I was wondering if you and I've met before."

The question caught her off guard, enough that her heart pounded beneath her chest. _He knows_, she realized. _He knows who I am._

"Why would you ask that?" she whispered, pressing a hand to her temple. He couldn't know, could he? If he didn't remember his own death, then there was no possible way he could remember her. "We just met yesterday."

"Yeah, but…" He sighed, casting a sidelong glance to the other two. "I don't know. You just seem familiar, and whenever Serah mentions Ivalice, it's like… it's like I know exactly what she's talking about."

She stood still, fingers curled at her sides, and her shoulders trembled as she fought the urge to turn away and run, run from him, Mateus, or any demon that tried to drag her back to the past.

Before she could react, the sickly smell of the bulbous flan returned, and a massive arm swung down from the trees. Snow wrapped his arms around her just as the flan swept them from the ground and sent them plunging into the depths of the forest.

* * *

><p>She awoke feeling sore and lethargic, like she hadn't slept in years and only now had a moment of peace. Someone groaned beneath her, and she opened her eyes to find herself staring down at Snow's pale face. Lightly, she slapped his cheek until he started to rouse, eyelashes fluttering, then she moved away and hugged her knees to her chest. Snow sat up, looking a bit stunned, but seemed fine nonetheless.<p>

"Ashe, Snow!" came Serah's worried voice from above. A stream of light filtered into the dark area, but Ashe couldn't quite see much else. "Are you guys okay?"

"We're fine," Ashe answered. "And you?"

"Um, we're okay. We're going to try to find a vine to help you guys get out, but we'll be back as soon as we can! Just hang in there and wait!"

Waiting around with Snow was the last thing Ashe wanted to do, but she had no other choice.

"Ashe?" It was Noel this time, but he said nothing else.

The scuffle of their feet informed her that they were gone, and suddenly Ashe began to fear that one wrong move would trigger Mateus's return. She watched Snow fidget with his sleeves, kick some dirt around, and sigh every now and then. Sometimes he would glance her way, almost as if he had something to say, but then he would go back to his own thoughts and repeat the process. He hissed slightly, tugging at one of his gloves.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"What? Yeah, I'm okay… Think I screwed up my wrist in the fall, though."

Sighing, she crawled over and sat down across from him, then held out her hand. "Give it here." He only stared, perplexed and perhaps a bit worried. "If you're going to be a stubborn fool, then—"

"Okay, okay! Sorry…"

She tentatively clasped her fingertips about his glove, slowly working the thin fabric off his hand. Snow's hand trembled at her touch, but he kept still and watched as her fingers glowed with curative magicks.

"I was never good at healing," he said as if to break the silence. Ashe glanced up from her work. "Hope and Vanille were always better. Sis once said it was like I wasn't meant to heal in the first place."

"And does that mean you were meant to destroy?"

"Nah, 'course not. Heroes protect people. You've gotta save everyone you can, you know?"

She hummed softly, turning his hand over. "So you believe all you can do is protect those in danger… but what of when they are harmed? You said so yourself; you cannot heal. What do you do? Leave them behind to suffer their pain alone?"

"Is this… is this about Serah? You and that Noel kid are pretty bitter about that…"

"No, what happened between you and Serah is none of my business."

He pulled his hand away, a bit forcefully, then tugged his glove on. "Okay, then what's your deal? We just met and you're already prying for information. What gives?"

"It's no different from what you attempted to do earlier. According to you, we've already met."

"I had a dream about you, okay?" he blurted out.

Brows furrowed, Ashe narrowed her eyes and asked, "What do you mean?"

"It was a while after I woke up from being… you know, dead and all. I didn't know where to go, what time to travel to…" he sighed. "Then I had this dream. I was in that place Balthier always talked about, Ivalice, and I was with you. We were on an airship, and you were talking about leaving your life behind and—"

"—I wanted you to help me."

Snow fell silent.

"But you didn't." She got to her feet, breath hitching as her muscles ached. "Rather than help me find my freedom, you only kept me in another cage. Even now, after your death, I have yet to be freed."

"I'm not dead." Snow stood abruptly and moved in front of her, grasping her shoulders hard. "I just have to make amends, that's what Lightning told me. That's why she brought me back."

"Nothing you do will amend what Mateus did."

"Mateus? Who's…?" He loosened his hold on her, gaze lingering on her face. "Wait… I was right. I do know you, and you know me. My dream wasn't just a dream; it was a memory."

Her heart continued to pound, and all she could do was nod.

"So that means I went to Ivalice, met you… Did I… did I find Lightning?"

"Yes."

A smile crept across his features. "So at least I kept one promise…"

"One promise… That is all that matters to you? Whether you kept a _promise_?" Her voice quaked, and she trembled like a frightened Giza hare. "How can you pretend to not care about what you did to her? To Balthier? To _me_?"

"How can I care when I don't remember? Look, Ashe, _I'm sorry_, but I can't do anything about whatever happened. What's done is done. Just leave it as it is, okay? We've got bigger things to deal with, so—"

She slapped him. Hard and quick. Ashe curled her fingers as she lowered her arm, lip trembling no longer out of fear, but anger. Hatred. She hadn't felt it so strongly since the day her kingdom fell to Vayne's power, the day she allowed her weakness to become a much larger part of her being.

No longer.

"What was that for, crazy lady?" Snow yelped. "At least Light had a reason for hitting me…"

"Perhaps you could be silent for once and listen!" she yelled. "You left Serah to find Lightning, and yes, you managed to keep that promise. But you broke many others, hurt the ones you sought to protect… now you can't remember a damn thing of it while the rest of us are forced to relive those moments again and again!"

He stared at her, bright eyes carefully studying her face. "What did I do to you?" he whispered after a moment.

The answer came to her mind quicker than she expected.

"You broke my heart."

Snow's expression went from concerned and afraid to… ashamed. Hurt. Though she never expected to experience this moment in her life, Ashe thought she would have been proud to overcome her fears, to face the monster that dared threaten the safety of her friends. Yet—she felt nothing but guilt. Perhaps—perhaps she had been wrong.

Mateus was dead, that much was true. But Snow: he was alive.

"Ashe, I…" He unclenched his fingers and lowered his arms. "I don't… I'm not sure—"

A vine dropped down between them and was shortly followed by the sound of Serah's cheerful voice.

"We found another artefact!"

* * *

><p>Noel grasped Ashe's hand and hoisted her up and onto the grass, where he suddenly drew her into his arms and held her close. Her breath hitched as she instantly stiffened, her nose pressing against the soft material of his shirt. His hands were rough, and yet, at the same time, they were so gentle and careful. He sighed as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, his warm breath ghosting her ear.<p>

"You okay?" he asked. Ashe mustered a nod, then pulled away from his grasp. His fingers grazed her arm as he looked at Snow and Serah. "The gate's just around that tree over there. It reacted to the artefact we found, so as soon as we're ready, we're off."

They wasted no time. While Serah and Snow checked out the time gate for a second time, Noel pulled Ashe aside, holding her shoulders tenderly and looking her in the eyes.

"I heard you yelling," he said. "Serah did, too, but I don't think she wanted to say anything about it."

"I apologize if I made you worry, but I am fine, Noel." She waved him off, wrapping her arms about herself. "Nothing happened."

"But you said… that he broke your heart."

_Of course he did_, she wanted to say. _But my heart was not the only one he broke._

"I want to watch out for both you and Serah, but if you and Snow—if you guys were ever…" he trailed off, scratching at his chin. "I just—I don't want you to get hurt. Serah, too."

"Might we forget this and move on, Noel? Time is short."

He sighed. "All right. But, really, Ashe: just… don't let your feelings get the best of you. Nothing lasts forever." Noel started to walk away, arms swinging at his sides in a content manner, but Ashe jogged up to him and snatched his arm, earning a sharp yelp in response.

"There are no _feelings_," she insisted. "Not for him, Mateus, or Balthier… That time has passed, Noel. I—I want to move on." _I need to move on_.

"Okay, okay!" he hissed. "Can you let go of me now?"

When they reached the gate, Serah was laughing as Snow pestered Mog ("I still think he looks like something from Nautilus, y'know?"). The pair went silent when Noel cleared his throat and pointed toward the gate.

"We should probably hurry. Don't want that flan to melt Cocoon's pillar anymore, right?"

"Okey dokey, let's check out the future!" Snow grinned, heading for the gate until Noel moved in front of him.

"Just us," he said. "Not you."

"Uh… say what?"

"For every road, there's a different gate. Something's telling me this gate isn't meant for you."

He was right; when Snow tried taking one step closer, the gate retaliated and nearly knocked him flat on his back. Mog gave a worried whine, while Serah simply frowned out of disappointment.

"You mean Snow can't come with us?" she asked Noel.

"Yeah, he stays."

Shrugging, Snow took a few steps back from the other three. "Guess I drew the short straw. Take care, you three. Don't do anything I would, okay?"

"And don't you do anything foolish behind our backs, like trying to take on giant flan single handed." Noel gave a laugh before disappearing into the gate.

"You behave yourself," Serah agreed, fighting back a grin. She took Snow's hands in her own. "You got it? No heroics, Snow."

He returned her smile with a faint one of his own. "I know, I know."

And soon it was only Ashe and Snow. She hesitated when reaching for the gate, her fingers tingled at the slightest hint of magick. If the time gates could reject anyone, did that mean she could find herself trapped in some other world, like Snow? And—what if that was what happened to Balthier? He could have been anywhere in the timeline and on any world… Lightning, as well. She was trapped in Valhalla, wasn't she?

Snow's quiet voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Hey, uh… I'm sorry."

Ashe looked down and closed her eyes. "I know."

And then she was gone.

* * *

><p>"Great. We're stuck in the Void again."<p>

Noel spoke for all of them; the Void was the last place Ashe wanted to see. Well, second to the last. She would prefer it if they didn't have to return to the Sunleth Waterscape after this, but luck hadn't been on her side for quite some time. And then there was Serah—the girl seemed happier since she discovered that at least one of her loved ones was safe and sound.

"We'll just have to solve another anomaly to get out, won't we? Just like in Oerba." Serah said, gazing at the wall of water. "That shouldn't be too hard."

"_Think again_."

A shadowy, monstrous figure stepped through the wall, leering at the three with eyes as silver as moonlight. It was twice the size of the average coeurl, but unlike those creatures, this one had a human face, wide, feathery wings, and a hissing serpent for a tail. Mog flew behind Serah, whimpering and trembling, while Noel stood facing the monster.

"Huh, you look familiar," he said, touching his chin thoughtfully.

"A creature with a lion's body, a serpent tail and the wings of an eagle." Ashe frowned. "Tell me, have you seen this sort of creature anywhere on Pulse, Noel?"

"I'm talking about its face. We've seen that man in the Oracle Drive."

Serah gasped. "Ashe, isn't that Balthier?"

_Balthier?_ The creature regarded her with little interest, swishing his tail in a languid manner. Serah and Noel were right—for whatever reason, this creature had Balthier's face. But he wasn't Balthier. He couldn't be.

"_I am Madness_," the creature replied. "_Nothing more._"

Noel snorted. "Balthier's mad? Guess swearing his soul to the goddess really messed him up…"

"_Stupid human, I am not this 'Balthier'. Those who visit me will find themselves faced with the past._"

"Okay, then… hey, look, we need to find a way solve the paradox in the Sunleth Waterscape. Can you help us?"

The Madness circled the three, eying each of their faces as if he were trying to see if they were lying. Or perhaps he was sizing them up for a meal. Either way, there was no doubt in her mind that this creature wasn't on their side.

"_You believe you can eliminate everything that should not exist?_"

"Yes," Serah replied.

"_Stupid humes_," the Madness spat, ruffling his fur in agitation. "_What you seek cannot be found._"

"What? But we need to stop that flan from destroying the crystal pillar!"

Ashe pursed her lips.

"_Do you not understand me?_" The Madness moved closer to Serah, leaning down so his nose almost touched hers. "_What you seek cannot be found, because it was not meant to exist._"

_To find something that cannot be found. Remember, Ashe. Remember everything you fight for, and everything you want to save._

"An artefact," Ashe spoke. The Madness smirked thinly and prowled toward her, nodding his head once.

"_The gray eyed queen is wise. Yes, an artefact._" With a swish of his tail, he procured a small red crystal that glimmered in the faint light of the Void. It was in the shape of a—Ashe grimaced—a human_ heart._ "_This is what you seek._"

Noel grinned and tried to reach for the artefact, waving his arms comically. "Great, give it here!"

The beast snarled and swatted at him, nearly knocking the boy over with a strong gust of air magick. "_This is _mine!_ It is my heart! Why would I give it to you? Not to save your sad friends, I would hope._" He spat the word 'friends' as if it were venom. "_I do not pity those who sacrifice themselves for the greater good!_"

"Please," Serah pleaded. "If we don't get rid of that flan, the future will be destroyed!"

"_I care not for what happens in the world outside. The goddess can rot in her grave—_!"

"Sheesh," Noel interrupted. "Someone doesn't like Etro…"

"_You are her minions? Her _servants?" the Madness smiled thinly. "_Then you are worthy to take my test._"

"Test?"

"_If you can answer all my riddles correctly, I will give you this artefact and your freedom. If you get one wrong, well…_" He flashed his sharp, white teeth and cackled.

"Fine," Noel replied. "We'll take your test."

"_Excellent! First: 'The man who invented it does not want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it?'_"

Serah tapped her chin in thought. "Something that is unwanted by the inventor, unneeded by the buyer, but unknown to those that need it."

"Easy!" Noel shouted. "A coffin! The inventor doesn't want it because he doesn't want to die. The one who buys it doesn't need it because he isn't close to death, and the one who does need it is dead, so he doesn't know about it."

"_Correct. Oh…_" The Madness moved aside, revealing three wooden coffins, all lined up. "_Look here. Three coffins for three bodies. If you do not answer my riddles, I will devour your souls._"

That was—unexpected.

"_Here is your second riddle. 'What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?'_"

Mog, though he was deathly afraid of the chimera, managed to give the right answer. "A river, kupo-po!"

And so began the final riddle. "_'What walks on four legs in the morning, two at mid-day, and three in the evening?'_"

"Something that has four, two, and three legs…" Serah murmured. "It couldn't be a spider; they have eight legs, not nine."

"I never heard of anything with nine legs, even in my time." Noel crossed his arms. "It can't be real… can it?"

"Morning, mid-day, evening… The beginning, middle and end." Suddenly she perked up and raised her arms. "Oh! A man!"

The Madness scowled. "_Correct._"

"We solved your riddles, so give us the artefact and let us out!" Noel ordered, reaching for his swords. The Madness stood and roared, tail swishing fiercely.

"_No! I have one more riddle—there is only one human who has answered this and left my realm. 'What does man love more than life? Fear more than death or mortal strife? What do the poor have, what the rich require, and what contented men desire? What does the miser spend, the spendthrift save, and all men carry to their graves?'_"

"What? There's no way we can answer that!"

The Madness's smile grew.

_No way to answer…_ Ashe closed her eyes for a moment. _To find something that cannot be found…_ _Something that does not exist_.

"Nothing," she breathed. "The answer is nothing!"

The crystal heart dropped into her hands, and the Madness gave a pathetic, loud wail as he curled about his tail. "_Only one other has answered that riddle… a woman by the name of Lightning._"

Serah gasped. "My sister was here?"

"_Yes. She came here with the intention of killing me… but she did not. She told me that all monsters have a heart, but I… I have none!_" the Madness sobbed. "_I sought the goddess's heart so I might find solace in a timeless world, but she cast me out and locked me here. Only her foolish guardian came to visit. The Void is my home… and it shall be until the end of time itself._"

Ashe and Noel had every intention to leave once the time gate appeared behind the wall of water, but Serah—bless her caring heart—approached the crying chimera and knelt beside him, running her hands through his mane.

"Madness," she crooned. "I think you have a heart, somewhere. You just need help finding it."

The chimera sniffled, looking at her with watery eyes. "_I—you truly believe I have a heart?_"

"Of course. Here," she extended her hand, "how about you come with us, and we'll look for your heart together?"

Noel looked absolutely horrified. "Serah! That guy just said he wanted to eat our souls! Now you're letting him come with us?"

She massaged the chimera's cheeks as he purred. "But he's been here for who knows how long! Look at him, he just needs a few friends."

It seemed that Serah shared her sister's love for monsters. Ashe gave a small sigh and nodded, waving the two over. "Very well. Madness, will you swear to not bring harm to us or any of our friends?" she asked the creature, who happily nodded in response.

"_Oh, yes. You see, I made a promise to Lightning before she departed. She made me swear to protect Serah with my life, and I intend to keep that promise._" He purred loudly when the named girl tickled his chin. "_You can trust me._"

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><p>Review? :)<p> 


	10. One in the Same

Um, my sincerest apologies for making you guys wait so long for this chapter. School happened, and then my muse died for a while... yeah. I'm really, really sorry, and I hope this extra long chapter will make up for it?

Thank you to **The Giant** **Daifuku**, **hateyuforever** and **maxeyn** for leaving feedback on the previous chapter!

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><p>"Job well done, I guess." Noel handed the Madness's crystal, a silver lightning bolt, to Serah. They would be able to summon him whenever they wanted, but that didn't mean he kept quiet when dormant.<p>

"_Thanks to me_," the Madness purred, his crystal glowing with a feeble light.

"Yeah," Serah agreed, "and Snow will be waiting."

Noel snorted. "I hope he's still okay back there… but I bet he won't be waiting by the gate for us."

"No, I suppose not. He's just like my sister; always charging ahead."

Well—there were many reasons why Ashe could disagree with that remark, but she wouldn't deny that she was the slightest bit curious as to how Lightning and Snow were similar. Lightning may have been determined to meet her own goals, but that didn't necessarily make her as reckless and foolhardy as Snow.

"Charging ahead into an early grave," Noel grumbled, folding his arms. Serah's smile instantly fell. "That's probably what killed him before, too. He acts like he's everyone's boss, just marches ahead and never thinks how much danger he's putting himself in. Idiots like that, they're all the same. Their heads are in the clouds, thinking that self-sacrifice can somehow save everyone… but people die anyway."

Snow might have had good intentions when he took his own life, but Noel was right: people still died. People were still missing. Ragnarok died and was now bound to Caius's sword. Lightning was lost in Valhalla. Balthier—Balthier was nowhere to be found.

Even Serah couldn't ignore Noel's words. Perhaps now she could see the truth about Snow, and that he wasn't as strong as she first believed.

"Noel," she said, jogging up to him and touching his arm. "I hope you don't get yourself killed."

That was… a surprise.

"After all," she added, "you've risked your life a lot of times. To help us, I mean."

"But I can tell the difference between fantasy and reality!" he spluttered. "I'm not like Snow."

Serah's smirk widened. "I didn't say you were."

"But—he just took off, left you alone, and then he got himself killed! He did what he wanted. He didn't care who he left behind or who he hurt. You, Ashe, and even that Balthier guy. All of you suffered because of him, and he doesn't care."

Neither Serah nor Ashe replied, and they simply followed him back to the gate in silence.

* * *

><p>With the new artefact in hand, as well as the Madness's crystal, they decided it would be best to return to Sunleth sooner than later to check up on things. Tracking down the right gate to Valhalla could wait for now. They found Snow sitting by the time gate, boredly watching the leaves flutter down from the treetops.<p>

"Has the paradox been resolved?" Serah eagerly asked.

"I don't think it worked," Snow said, standing up. "You managed to put a dam in front of the flood of little flan, but that big one… he ain't going anywhere."

"We could be dealing with a double paradox." Noel paced for a bit, thinking to himself, then paused. "That might be it. There's probably another paradox that's affecting the giant flan. We can use the new artefact to find the problem, fix it, and move on."

Ashe kept her gaze toward the ground. Pulse, Cocoon and Ivalice were all connected because of the paradox in the timeline. If they kept solving the anomalies, what would happen to that connection? How would she and Balthier return to Ivalice when all this was over?

"So the paradox in the Void only stopped the miniflan from coming back…" Serah murmured. "Oh! Do you think by taking the Madness out of the Void Beyond, we solved the paradox? What if we go back there and find another creature in need?"

Wary, Noel shook his head. "Don't let collecting creatures become a habit of yours, Serah. One Madness is bad enough."

At the sound of his name, the beast jumped out from his crystal and merrily greeted Serah, rubbing against her hand as she stroked him.

"You called?" he asked. Noel groaned.

"_No_, we didn't. We were just saying that you were one of the paradoxes affecting this world."

"A paradox? How insulting!" the Madness hissed. "Paradoxes are things that do not belong in the world, and therefore must be vanquished. I belong here because I am Serah's guardian."

Snow wandered over and poked at the Madness's nose. "Huh, that's funny… it looks like Balthier turned into a cat."

"We were thinking the same thing, but Ashe insisted they're not the same people," Serah said. "The Madness is a good, um… friend. He's agreed to help us find Lightning."

"Well, you take care of Serah, all right? Make sure she doesn't get into trouble."

The creature gave a curt nod, then returned to his crystal. Serah tucked it away into her side pouch, then joined Ashe and Noel by the gate.

"We'll be back soon!" she promised, then vanished from sight. Noel nodded at Ashe, but his grin fell when she took a step away from him.

"The gate," she said suddenly. "It—it will not let me through."

"What are you talking about? We just went through it, and I don't think it'll reject you that quickly." He extended his hand, a welcoming and hopeful smile on his face. "Come on, let's go. Serah might send the Madness after us if we make her wait."

She wanted nothing more than to join him and escape her past, but there was something she had to do. "Noel. I'm staying."

A wave of guilt washed over her when he turned away and disappeared into the time gate, leaving behind a thick blanket of silence. Behind her, Snow heaved a sigh and scratched at his chin, pacing a bit before looking down at her.

"I'm… confused," he admitted. "We might have ended on a sour note and all, but did you really have to lie to Noel just so you could stay here? Wouldn't have it been better to tell him the truth?"

"There are some things he isn't meant to know," she answered. "They won't be gone for long, and I wish to speak with you again regarding a rather personal matter."

He gave a weak laugh. "You're not gonna hit me again, are you?"

"I hope it does not come to that."

* * *

><p>The moment they stepped onto the plains of the Archylte Steppe, Noel was in a horrible mood. For the first time on their journey, he wasn't making jokes or poking fun at Mog, or even smirking when Serah asked silly, pointless questions about the new time period. She tried her best to get him to crack a smile, yet even throwing Mog across the plains didn't help improve his mood.<p>

"I wonder what's causing the paradox," Serah mused to herself, wandering past Noel through the tall grass. He wordlessly turned and followed her. "If it's not in the Void, then there probably isn't a puzzle or anomaly to solve."

"Perhaps there's another monster to save, kupo!"

Serah giggled and patted Mog's head. "I think Noel was right. One Madness is enough."

The named creature gave a long, heavy sigh inside his crystal. "_There is a fiend in this world, a fiend that does not belong. We need to defeat it in order to restore this section of the timeline to its original state._"

"Can you sense paradoxes?" she asked, holding up the silver crystal.

"_I can _feel _the paradox… how queer. Nevertheless, Serah, we should hurry and take care of things._"

Noel huffed. "The sooner we get done here, the faster we can move on and find Lightning."

"Erm…" Serah tucked the Madness's crystal in her pocket and nodded. "Right. We shouldn't make Ashe and Snow wait any longer."

His upper lip curled. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Ashe had intentionally stayed behind so she could talk with Snow. Sure, she had her own issues to get over, but he had thought finding Lightning and that Balthier guy was at the top of her to do list, not—fraternizing with some guy she claimed to hate. She said she wanted to move on and forget the past.

So why wasn't she with them now?

He shook his head and folded his arms. "Serah, I was thinking…"

"_Oh, he can think for himself? And here I was led to believe that he was the queen's dog!_" the Madness chortled.

"Hey, I'm not her dog. I follow my own orders."

The creature scoffed, his crystal flickering contently. "_So you say._"

"Anyway," he continued, "I've been thinking… once we're done here, are you gonna let Snow come with us? To find Lightning, I mean." He shook his head. "Let me rephrase that. Do you think he'll want to come along?"

A faint, but sincere smile crept across her lips. "Of course he'll be coming with us. Why wouldn't he?"

"It's just… He and Ashe don't get along. If worse comes to worse, and their problems get mixed with our mission, I don't want you to feel like you have to pick sides. Maybe it would be better if he stayed on his own."

"Why is this suddenly so important?"

"I don't want to see either you or Ashe get hurt, all right?"

Serah turned away, fiddling with her pendant. "That's… what my sister once said. 'I don't want to see you get hurt.' But Snow would never do that." In an instant, her expression grew cold, so—so un-Serah-like, and she prodded at his chest with a firm finger. "You listen here, Noel. There is nothing that will ever change my mind about Snow. He is a good man, but you're dead set on making him the bad guy, aren't you?"

"No, no, it's not like that—"

"It sure doesn't seem like anything else!" Another forceful prod. Noel stumbled backward against a tree, while Mog hovered over the two of them worriedly. "Both you and Ashe have been giving him a hard time, just like my sister. You just need to give him a chance."

"I am right now. He's with Ashe, and if he can keep her safe, then maybe that'll change my mind."

She narrowed her eyes, lips pursed in a frustrated manner as she looked him over. After a moment of silence, she reached up and poked his nose.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise," he replied, laughing slightly. "Now, can we just find the paradox and get this over with?"

* * *

><p>Knowing that Serah's faith in Snow was as strong as it was removed a strange amount of weight from Noel's shoulders. He might not have liked the guy, but Serah was the most important thing in Snow's life. If he ever lost her… Well, Noel imagined that Snow would be a lot more reckless than he was now. Noel had learned the hard way that losing the one you loved most would send you spiraling into a guilt ridden, uncontrollable state of mind.<p>

You could go mad with regret.

_Noel, I hope you don't get yourself killed._

Smirking, Noel leaned against the door frame and watched Serah chat with some of the villagers, Mog drifting contently above her shoulder. They still weren't sure how far into the future they had traveled, but since they couldn't see any signs of Cocoon, they must have been close to his time.

He was amazed at how many people had survived after Cocoon's fall. In his time, there were not many people in the village, and most had died off shortly after he had been born. But here, in this time, people were still alive, and they would be for a long time, he hoped.

"So you haven't seen anything out of the ordinary?" Serah asked, sounding a bit disappointed.

"'Fraid not, miss," the man replied. "Though there has been a wolf or something going after our chocobos. Might be something you wanna check out."

"Okay! Noel, let's go." She suddenly grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the hut, then she pointed to the barn just over the hill. He could barely make out the bright yellow plumage behind the door. "They said we could borrow one of their chocobos for our search."

"One of their… what?"

Serah's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "You've never heard of chocobos?"

He shook his head. "I thought I told you, in my time—"

"—there's hardly any people, and most definitely no chocobos," Serah finished, rolling her eyes. "I thought you'd have at least heard stories about them. You knew what Mog was when Lightning gave him to you, right?"

"I just thought he was some good luck charm."

She gave an exasperated sigh and threw her arms into the air. "Next time we see Hope, I'm going to ask him to teach you everything about Cocoon and Pulse. This is just silly, Noel!"

The walk to the barn took longer than Noel wanted. Mog kept getting distracted by the various flowers nestled in the grass, and while Serah did her best to keep him moving, she eventually got distracted, too. She plopped down in the grass and lie down, resting her arms behind her head. Noel frowned and stood over her.

"I thought we were going after the paradox, not lazing around."

"We need a break," she chirped. "Ashe had the right idea—staying behind to get away from it all."

His lips twitched into a slight smile. "I guess you're right. But," he pulled her up with one hand, "we can take a break once all this is over, when we've found Lightning."

"Okay, okay. You win this time."

A hunter waited for them by the chocobos—which turned out to be big, fluffy birds with impressive yellow feathers. Noel went up to one and tried to stroke its beak, but the chocobo squawked at him and clunked its head against his.

"Ow!" Noel grimaced and massaged his temple. "Sheesh, rambunctious thing, aren't you."

Serah had climbed onto the bird's back when he wasn't looking. "Come on. The Madness says the paradox is close by."

"Can't we just walk there?"

"That'll take all day! Would you rather we ask the Madness to fly us there?"

He was fairly certain that the lion would only let Serah ride him, and maybe Ashe, too, if she were there. Whining quietly, Noel unsteadily sat behind Serah. "Okay, now what?"

"Put your hands on my waist so you don't fall off."

His cheeks instantly colored. "What—?"

Sighing again, she grabbed his arms and wrapped them around her waist, then sat Mog down in her lap. "There, see? Now we'll all be safe."

"Safe? Wait, Serah—!"

* * *

><p>"How long have you been here?" Ashe asked, jogging to catch up with Snow's large, carefree steps. They had been walking through Sunleth for quite a while, searching for any other artefacts that could unlock the gates. The sky began to darken, though the crystal of Cocoon remained radiant.<p>

"Eh, few days… After a while, you kind of lose track with all that jumping through time stuff. Sometimes things go by faster, sometimes slower."

"And you've been away from home for three years," she added.

"Yeah… That, too." Snow stopped, looking toward the crystal encasing the trees. "It sure doesn't feel like it's been that long. Guess time flies when you're dead."

She shut her eyes and curled her fingers slightly. "Do not joke about that, please."

"Oh, right. Sorry." He scratched the nape of his neck, glancing awkwardly to his left. "It's not much, but I've got a camp set up just around that tree. We can talk there, if you want."

It really wasn't much at all. There was a small fire pit underneath the branches of an old, rotting tree, a few blankets made up into a bed and a bag of supplies, such as potions and food. She sat down and rested against the tree's trunk while Snow attempted to light the fire.

"You know, I was never good at this kind of magick, either," he grumbled, flicking some of the embers from his gloves. "Magick was just never my thing in general, and it still isn't."

"Balthier was the same," she replied quietly. "He often remarked that—"

"—guns were more reliable. Yeah, he would say that to us, too. Sazh was the only one who agreed with him." Snow cracked a smile when flames started to lick at the wood. "Ah, there we go. At least now we won't freeze tonight. Maybe Noel and Serah will be back before then, huh?"

No one knew how much time they would spend beyond the gate. Finding artefacts and eliminating paradoxes was not as an easy task, and they could be there for days. Weeks. Years, perhaps?

"Think they're okay out there?" Snow asked. "Serah's toughened up from the last time I saw her. I almost wish I hadn't left her behind and asked her to come with…"

Ashe shook her head. "Had you done that, she may have gone to Ivalice as well."

"So then it's a good thing she stayed home. Wouldn't want her to get killed, too, I suppose." His grin fell, and he uneasily pulled at his sleeves. "Hey, Ashe… Can I ask you something?"

She had a faint idea of what he wanted to know, but she nodded anyway. "Yes, of course."

"How'd… how did it happen? How did I die?" Snow turned away and sighed. "Nah, it's okay. I don't need to know."

"I don't believe that. You should know, but… it would be best for you to find out on your own. I am sure your memories will return someday." A sad smile tugged at her lips. "Surely you remember something?"

"Just you. I remember being with you and looking for Lightning. I wanted to find her and bring her home." He sighed heavily, shoulders slumping in defeat. "But I couldn't even do that, seeing as how she's… gone."

"Perhaps you were not meant to find her in Ivalice. There is still time."

He chuckled softly. "Is there?" Going silent, he glanced down at his left forearm, worry flickering in his blue eyes when he looked back up at Ashe.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I should… get more firewood." He abruptly stood back up, nearly tripping over a few rocks on his way to the other end of camp. Though, only a mere few moments later, he returned empty handed and looking more sullen than before. "Look, I'm not… trying to hide anything, if that's what you're thinking," he said upon seeing her disapproving scowl.

"Are you?"

"It's not like I want to hide it, but… it would be better if we pretended nothing's wrong."

Snow's behavior had become increasingly more like Mateus's since Serah had left. He may have appeared honest and truthful, yet there was something odd about him that Ashe couldn't quite place. He may have not been harboring an insane god like before, but something was still wrong.

"I stayed behind because I thought we needed to talk, and that still stands, Snow," Ashe said. "You need not hide anything from me."

He sighed in defeat, joining her by the fire once again. Night had fallen in the forest, and Snow's tense features were illuminated by the orange, warm light. The creatures of Sunleth were still restless, chirping and rustling in the trees, and Ashe thought she could hear the miniflan gurgling somewhere in the distance.

"I'm guessing either Light or Serah told you about what happened on Cocoon," Snow started slowly, "and what happened after… right?"

"I may have learned bits of it, yes."

"We were cursed as l'Cie, puppets to the fal'Cie—kind of like your Occuria." He paused, a perplexed look on his face. "Huh… anyway, after Fang and Vanille summoned Ragnarok and turned Cocoon into crystal, we were all turned back to normal, more or less. My… memory is a bit fuzzy after that, but I'm guessing that was when Light disappeared."

"And…?"

"You know what went on after that, but… I haven't told anyone this; not even Serah. When I woke up from being… you know, dead and all, I was back in New Bodhum. It was like I hadn't left at all!" he rested his chin in his palm. "So then, I continued my search for Lightning… I managed to find a time gate and began travelling through time, hoping to find some clues as to what I could do to help her. That was when… when Etro found me."

Ashe's eyes widened. "The goddess?"

"She said it was because of Balthier that I was alive again. He gave me a second chance, and Etro wanted me to use it well. 'Find your purpose until time's end.' That's what she said to me, after…" He trailed off and, as if to finish his words, held up his arm for Ashe to see.

There, branded on his forearm, was the mark of a l'Cie.

"I asked her to make me a l'Cie again so I'd be able to find Lightning. If I had died while trying to find her, then I wasn't strong enough. So I needed to get stronger… and I could only do that as a l'Cie."

"You died not because you were weak, Snow," she interjected. "It was because you chose it yourself. You ended your own life."

He stared at her, expression blank in bewilderment. "What happened to letting me find out on my own?"

"Apparently you cannot think straight without understanding everything. You're a fool, a _damn _fool. I've read the books, Snow, and I know what happens to l'Cie when they fail their mission."

"I had no choice!"

"But you did. Brute strength does not mean power, and power does mean you will get everything you want in the end. How can you be so certain that you will live to see Lightning come back, or see Fang and Vanille wake from their crystal stasis?" Ashe swallowed hard. "How are you going to live long enough to marry _Serah_?"

"By beating this Focus and saving the day, that's how."

His words struck her like a fierce slap. _This story's gotta have a happy ending, remember?_ Just like when he died, Snow believed that everything would be all right in the end, even if it meant making the ultimate sacrifice. He didn't take his own life just so Lindzei would be destroyed, or that he could no longer harm them. He did it because he wanted them to live.

"Balthier gave me another chance at life, and I plan to make him proud. I'll save everyone this time." Snow grinned. "That's what he'd want, I know it."

"Always playing the hero… You two are more alike than I thought," Ashe growled, crossing her arms. Snow laughed, a surprisingly comforting sound. "This is no laughing matter!"

"We've had enough of this dark and gloomy talk, don't you think?"

"Tell me one more thing."

He raised his brows in questioning.

"Do you intend to stay alive?"

"Of course I do. I made Serah a promise, didn't I?"

Satisfied, she settled against the tree again and smiled softly. "I hope that's true."

* * *

><p>"Oh, come on, Noel, you're a hunter. You can't possibly get motion sickness from only riding a chocobo." Serah, hands on her hips, stared down at Noel as he knelt in the grass, dizzy and feeling sick. "Does this happen whenever you kill something, too?"<p>

He shook his head and shakily got to his feet. "No…"

"What about when you ride air ships?"

"Are those… boats in the sky?"

She giggled. "I guess that's one way to describe them. Air ships are ships that can fly, simple as that. Balthier was a sky pirate in Ivalice, so he probably had a ship of his own. I bet when we find him, we can ask if he can give us a ride!"

It was only partially heartwarming that Serah believed that not only would they find Lightning, but that Balthier guy as well. He had to admit it was a possibility. They'd already found Snow, so coming across Lightning and Balthier could be just as quick and easy. That was what he hoped for, at least.

"So, where's that paradox?" Noel asked, scratching his chin.

"_To the east, near those cliffs. Can you not see that cloud of dust?_" the Madness purred from his crystal. "_I suppose you're not a very good hunter if you cannot see what's right in front of you… especially when it comes to Queens and the like._"

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" he yelled, snatching the crystal from Serah's hands. "Come out and tell that to my face, you little rat!"

The Madness appeared on sight, though he completely ignored Noel and went straight to Serah, accepting some pets and strokes in greeting.

"Did you say something, parachute pants?" the lion asked, flicking the boy with his serpent tail.

"Yeah, I did, and—" He froze. A putrid, sickening stench waved over him, and when Serah suddenly gasped and was knocked aside by the Madness, Noel knew there was trouble. He drew his swords in a flash and forced them between the dragon's teeth before he was its next meal. "Where'd this guy come from?" Noel shouted over his shoulders, lips pulled in a tight snarl as the dragon tried to shake him off.

Serah aimed her arrow for its head, but hesitated. "I'm not sure! Madness, why didn't you warn us?"

"It's a paradox—everything it does is unexpected!" the creature screeched, then tossed Serah onto his back before the dragon's tail could slice her in two. Noel snatched his swords and ducked out of the way, letting Serah and the Madness distract the dragon.

The creature looked like it had walked right out from underground. Instead of having a thick, hard skin it had mold, grass and other fauna across its back and tail, though its legs and tail were coated with dirt and stone. Its eyes were a piercing yellow, and its wings resembled tree branches. Noel had never seen anything like it in his life.

He continued to contemplate the dragon's otherworldly appearance until its tail knocked him off his feet and sent him spiraling to the ground.

What felt like mere moments later, Noel awoke with his head in Serah's lap. The dragon was gone, and the Madness lie in the grass with Mog resting on his back.

"Good morning, parachute pants," the lion greeted. "You decided to take a nap during the fight."

Noel groaned. "I got distracted, sorry. At least you guys took care of it, right?"

"We didn't. I went to heal you after you were knocked out, and the dragon almost got to me when this… white light enveloped it and took it away. Whatever that light was, it left this." Serah held up the artefact: a green and blue crystal. "Do you think this will fix the paradox?"

"Yes," he answered, sitting up and nodding. "Now let's head back before Snow gets himself into more trouble."

A playful grin appeared on her face. "Why, are you worried about him?"

"What? No! I just figured you'd be itching to see him again."

She laughed. "If there's one thing I know about Snow, it's that he's as tough as a behemoth. I don't worry too much when he's off on his own, though after what… happened to him back in Ivalice…" Her smile faltered. "I know he can be reckless, but he knows when he's reached his limits."

He helped her stand, then the two of them joined the Madness and Mog by the newly opened time gate. "You know, I couldn't do what you two do," he said suddenly. Serah perked up a bit. "Staying apart and doing your own thing even though you love each other. You never know when someone might disappear from your life."

"Hm?"

"Take it from me; you have to make every moment count."

* * *

><p>When they returned to Sunleth, Snow and Ashe weren't waiting by the gate like they expected, though they did find Ashe sleeping alone by a smoking fire. She stirred upon hearing their footsteps, but didn't wake up until Serah said something.<p>

"Where's Snow?"

* * *

><p>Review, and I will work faster on the next chapter? c: (I used some of my personal headcanons regarding Snow's brand in XIII-2 since they never explained what in the heck happened with him other than he asked for it.)<p> 


	11. A Life for a Life

Nothing much to say here except I was ordered to update this story sooner than later. I've been really unmotivated to get this done and post it.

* * *

><p>"I—I don't know where he is," Ashe said. "We had been talking when I must have fallen asleep…"<p>

It was embarrassing to admit she had dozed off when she should have been keeping track of Snow. She should have known that, after their discussion, he'd want to prove to her that he could still protect others. His fear for Fang and Vanille, and the need to save them, was greater than a mere promise to her about staying alive for Serah.

"Idiot," Noel cursed. "He must have gone to face that flan on his own again!"

Serah took off running without a second thought, with Noel closely following behind, though Ashe was hesitant. After what happened between her and Snow, she never thought she would feel so scared that maybe, just maybe, he would get himself killed again. Ashe drew her sword and ran after the other two, pushing her fears into the back of her mind for now.

They found Snow just where Noel thought he was: trying to take on the flan by himself. The creature was no longer a towering beast, but was hardly the size of a wyrm. Snow was on his hands and knees, blood trickling down his nose from the gash across his face, but he seemed to be nothing more than exhausted and bruised. While Serah went to his aid, Noel and Ashe faced the flan.

"You really don't know when to quit, do you?" Noel shouted.

Snow didn't respond, and he managed to stand back up with Serah's help. Enraged, the flan swung its arms at the group and managed to grab hold of Noel's leg. Without thinking, Ashe grasped his arm with both hands and started to pull, but the flan ended up flinging them both across the grassy platform. She fell against a tree with a hard thud, but even when her vision threatened to blur she mustered enough strength to conjure a Flare spell. As she did so, however, the ground beneath her feet began to give away, and slowly she started to fall backward, almost as if she were weightless. The spell hit the flan, and flames burst around the screeching creature.

"I got you!"

Noel caught her hand and pulled her up, grinning ear to ear as the flan faded from sight. It screamed and writhed until it vanished in a white light. She never thought it to be a paradox itself; only that it was alive _because_ of one.

"Wow! That was…" Noel seemed a little lost for words. "How'd you do that? You got rid of it in one hit!"

"I am… not so certain that was what killed it, Noel." Ashe turned away and walked to where Serah stood with an uneasy Snow. He had that scared look in his eyes again, just like when he told her about his brand. Something was wrong.

"Looks like I needed the cavalry after all," he said, forcing a smile. "Maybe going solo was a bad idea…"

Noel didn't waste any time before he started berating the man. "You knew you had no chance of winning. Why did you even try?"

Immediately Snow's gaze went to the crystal glimmering within the trees. He wiped some of the blood from his brow. Ashe remembered that Mateus had received a similar cut when he fought Lightning. However—it wasn't there before they spoke yesterday. Why now? Frantic thoughts like this ran feverishly through her mind, though she was thankful neither Serah nor Noel could see the distress in her features. Snow, however, caught her eye before he looked back at the crystal.

"Fang and Vanille, I guess," he murmured. "I knew it was stupid, but the pillar was getting eaten away, bit by bit. I couldn't stand by and watch, not when those two were in danger."

"You couldn't sit still and wait for help, could you?" The boy scoffed, curling his fingers enough that Ashe could see the white of his bones through his skin. "Typical."

"I had to do something—"

"You're the worst of them all! I _hate_ your kind! You think you're everyone's protector—everyone's _hero_—but who do you save, really?" Ashe tried to reach for Noel to calm him down, but he shook her off. "Do you even realize how useless you are? Do you realize what you do to the people you're supposed to protect?"

"Now you wait just a damn minute," Snow retorted, but there was no hate in his voice—not like Noel. "You've been looking after Serah. You've made Ashe smile again. And back in your own time, you protected your village and your friends. Am I wrong? Seems to me… you and I are pretty much the same."

"No, you don't get it! We're not the same! I couldn't—I couldn't protect anyone."

It slowly dawned on her why Noel held a grudge against Snow. It wasn't just because of what the man had unintentionally done when he'd left Serah behind; it was because some time ago, Noel lost someone he loved, too. Ashe briefly recalled his disappointment in Oerba when Yeul turned him away, and when Caius fought them. Why hadn't she understood beforehand?

The guilty look on Snow's face pulled Ashe from her thoughts.

"Noel… you know what, forget it. Maybe you're right," he answered quietly. "But you've gotta survive, because if you don't… then neither will anyone you love. It happened to me. I remember now."

"What?" Ashe gasped.

"It all came back to me last night. I went looking for trouble, and Lindzei found me first. It's my fault Ragnarok got killed, why sis is still missing… and why Balthier's gone, too." Snow smiled sadly. "Lightning told me to make amends, and now I know why. I did a lot of bad things, and… I just want to make things better again."

Serah appeared afraid, but made no signs of moving away from him. "My dreams… The things I saw, they were real?"

He didn't answer her. He might have been too afraid to hurt her even more. "Listen, I'm sorry I charged in on my own. I shouldn't have made that mistake twice."

Noel's shoulders slumped slightly, and Snow moved from Serah's embrace and clapped a hand on the boy's back.

"I guess what I'm saying is… you keep looking after Serah for me, okay?"

When Snow stepped back from Noel, Ashe realized she wasn't just looking at him—she was looking _through_ him. Like the flan from before, Snow was starting to fade from this world.

"What's happening?" Noel exclaimed. "Snow!"

He gave another sad smile. Ashe's heart raced in terror as she realized: he knew all along what was going to happen to him.

Snow was a paradox.

"My time is up," he said quietly, looking toward the sky.

"No, wait! I thought we resolved the paradox!" Serah's voice quavered. "He… he can't disappear!"

Noel shook his head. "Maybe that's the reason. The timeline is correcting itself. Things that don't belong in this era are… disappearing. It happened in the Steppe, Serah, remember? That monster was a paradox, same with the flan and Snow." Despite his words, disbelief clouded Noel's eyes. "He's a contradiction. He comes from a past that no longer exists. The dead aren't supposed to come back to life, not in this world."

Frantic, Serah rushed forward and all but tackled Snow, trying to hold onto him before he vanished completely. "No, stop it! I won't let you go!"

The man grinned, turning to look at her. "I'm sorry, Serah. I can't be with you here."

"Please don't leave me! I can't lose you over and over!"

"It'll be okay," he whispered, holding up his arm. The l'Cie brand was barely visible now. "Heroes never die."

_Do they_? Ashe wondered. She watched in silence as Serah tried to comprehend how Snow had the brand, but, as easily as they had found him—Snow was gone. Just like that, they lost him. Ashe felt her heart ache in regret as Serah sank to her knees, clutching his old pendant to her chest and choking on sobs.

"This is what it means to change time," Noel said solemnly. "In order to restore the timeline to its original state, we have to remove the paradoxes. All of them."

Serah wasn't listening. "Why did he have the brand? Who made Snow a l'Cie?" she whimpered. "Was it… because of Lindzei?"

"He might not have been forced. Maybe it was something he asked for."

"Not in a million years! Who would be insane and stupid enough to do that?"

Noel knelt in front of her and firmly grasped her shoulders. "Listen to me. Something, or someone, brought Snow back to life. There's no denying that. But the price, however… is a life for a life."

"So that means…" Ashe remembered Balthier's words about how Lightning was not the only one Etro employed. "Someone gave their life to bring him back to you, Serah. But that also damned him to a fate of servitude to Etro—that's why he has the brand."

"But he didn't care," Noel added with a scowl. "He still wanted to save everyone."

Serah rubbed at her eyes. "And you… you hate him for that?"

"Yes, I hate him. But I understand him, too. He screwed up in life, and he wanted to make amends for it. That's what matters."

Guilt hung around Ashe like a shadow. Although Mateus was the monster that nearly tore her life apart, it was Snow who showed her how to live again. He not only found her in her time of need, but he gave her a second chance. She just wished she could have done the same for him.

"That's it. I've decided," Serah said suddenly as Noel helped her up. "Snow is always putting himself in danger trying to save others. So, I'm going to save him. When I became a l'Cie, he did everything he could to help me." She smiled and looked at the pendant. "Now it's my turn. I swear I won't stop until I find him again."

"Okay," Noel agreed. "And I'll make sure you do. He asked me to look after you, remember?"

"And I, as well." Ashe gingerly touched Serah's shoulder. "We will find him, Serah. I promise."

_When two people part and go their separate ways, their memories split as well. Some wish they could go back and be together like before. Others look forward to the day they can meet again. The future is yours. Follow your path. Don't stop now._

* * *

><p>The Historia Crux took them in like a mother would embrace her children, but then tossed them into the Void Beyond unexpectedly. Ashe caught Serah's arm before she could trip over the cracked, uneven tiles, laughing when the girl muttered a short curse of relief.<p>

"Another detour?" she breathed, sounding a bit dejected.

"It's easy to get lost when you leap through time, kupo!" Mog flew toward a fallen pillar below the crystal throne. The glimmering stone called to Ashe, its shine as bright as the waters of the Nebra River. A wave of homesickness brushed over her, but she quickly pushed it away. Now was not the time for sorrow.

"We can go back through the gate anytime," Noel said, eyes roving over the desolate area. "Let's take a breather. We need it."

The three of them sat before the throne, the air thick with silence as if each of them had something on their minds. Serah, no doubt, was still shaken about what happened to Snow, but Ashe couldn't read Noel's troubled expression from where she sat. Eventually, and thankfully, he spoke up.

"Say, Serah," he said, glancing over to the girl. "You remember when you told me that you saw me, Lightning and Ashe in your dreams? Are you still having them?"

She shook her head. "No. The last time I saw Lightning was the night before we left. Although… I've had lots of dreams about what happened the next day."

"Okay."

'Okay' seemed to be the only thing anyone could say at the time.

"Why do you ask?" Serah leaned forward slightly.

"I was just curious."

Serah didn't appear to be convinced, so she nudged his leg with her foot. "Noel, I've been thinking. If we keep traveling through time, resolving paradoxes and changing history… Doesn't that mean the future you come from will change along with everything else?"

"Perhaps it'll become a future where I never existed."

"Is that possible?"

He nodded, then got up from the cracked pillar. "Well, you saw what happened in Sunleth. The timeline corrects itself and gets rid of the contradictions. I'm one of them."

They had already lost Snow. Losing Noel would be even worse.

"If it happens to me," he continued, "it'll be okay. There's too much sadness in my world, your future. It'd be better if it never happened at all."

Fear began to rise in her chest. Everything they did affected the timeline in some way. Their actions caused Snow to disappear, and for all they knew, something similar had happened to Balthier—and perhaps even Lightning. If she were to cause Noel to fade away…

She forced the thought from her mind and crossed her arms.

Serah wore a similar expression of disdain, though not for the same reason, Ashe was sure. At first Noel did his best to ignore the foul looks from the two, but when Mog decided to join in, he threw his arms in the air and groaned.

"Look, I am willing to make that choice if I have to," he said. "If it means saving the future, then I don't care what happens to me. As long as other people don't have to suffer, I'll be fine."

His words back in Bodhum were starting to make sense. All Noel wanted was to see a future where everyone could live again.

Even if it meant giving his own life to make that happen.

"Noel, we will find a way to restore the timeline without making any sacrifices," Ashe said, facing him. "We can save everyone, and that includes you."

Serah giggled. "You're starting to sound like Snow, Ashe."

Warmth spread across her cheeks, and she earnestly scratched at her nose. "Well, it is rather difficult to ignore him when he goes on those tangents about saving the world."

She met Noel's eyes; surprisingly, she found herself feeling better just by seeing him smile so sincerely. If they all believed they could change fate for mankind, then perhaps things really would turn out all right in the end.

"Now, let's go find Lightning," he said. Serah grinned and nodded.

"Yes, let's."

As Ashe turned toward the time gate, she felt a familiar chill graze her skin. The cold sensation pulled at her nerves, and, her heart pounding, she glanced about the void before finally spotting a shadowy figure standing beside Etro's throne. Chaos drifted around the figure, though it made no signs of confronting her or the others. It simply stood there, watching. Waiting.

"Ashe, come on." Noel touched her arm. "We should get going."

When she averted her eyes for just a moment, the figure had vanished.


	12. Monsters and Men

_The power to influence the future… The power to alter destiny. Such an ability may, if one was not careful, change a person's fate for the worse. Such power was never meant for mortal man. There are none who possess the wisdom to wield it._

Rain was a rare thing in Dalmasca. Though the Giza Plains frequently experienced the Rains season, her city had never even seen a single thunder cloud. She had grown accustomed to it over the years, yet the feeling of cold, small droplets of rain against her skin was still a surprise, but strangely comforting.

The three of them stepped out of the time gate and onto a floating platform. Around them was a massive city with little glowing lights that reminded her of Giruvegan—a never-ending dip into darkness with only the light of crystals to guide you down the right path. She leaned over the railing and looked down at the dark depths below, then to the cloudy night sky.

"Wow," Noel marveled. "How do you build something like this?"

"A little bit at a time, I guess," Serah answered. "It probably took a lot of people working together over the decades, maybe even centuries, to make this city what it is now."

"They had a vision for the future, and it grew from there, huh?" He laughed unexpectedly and grinned at them. "You know what, guys? I used to think the only way to make a better future was to change something right away, in the here and now. But creating something for people to build on? That's not such a bad idea." Another jovial laugh. "Right? Even if it can't be completed in one lifetime, it's still worth starting. If you believe that someone in the next generation will take up the same ideal, then the dream lives on."

Serah nodded. "That sounds like Hope's way."

Noel sighed wistfully, resting his hands on the railing beside Ashe. "I wish she could have seen it."

"Yeul, you mean? She's very special to you, isn't she?"

"She was…" He hung his head, dark bangs draping over his eyes. His voice cracked slightly as he spoke. "But I couldn't protect her."

Regret. It would eat at your mind until there was nothing left. Ashe carefully touched his shoulder, hoping to comfort him, but suddenly—something felt wrong, like they were being watched or followed. She looked up as a light flickered in the sky, illuminating the trio, and then, without any warning, a brilliant gold light engulfed the people of Academia. They writhed and screamed—such a horrible sound!—until the light faded, revealing contorted bodies of crystal and decaying flesh.

"What's happening?" Ashe shouted, hardly able to hear her own voice over the monstrous cries.

"No…" Serah breathed, covering her mouth. The air had acquired a putrid, foul stench. "All those _people_!"

Noel grabbed their hands, urging them to move. "We gotta get out of here, come on!"

And so they ran for cover, both from the monsters and the rain. When they reached a small enclosed space, something clicked inside the wall, a glowing door shooting out and blocking their only exit.

"_Threat level 'Sigma.' All sections of Academia on high alert._"

"Threat?" Ashe asked.

"I hope they're not talking about us…" Noel narrowed his eyes. "We just showed up!"

Serah thought for a moment, recognition clouding her eyes. "They must see us as intruders. I mean, we did appear out of nowhere. We should let them know we're not a danger to the people before it's too late."

"But there are hardly any people left," Ashe added. "They've become—"

"Monsters," Noel finished.

Only l'Cie could become Cie'th. That was the legend—l'Cie who failed their Focus would turn into monstrous Cie'th, doomed to walk until someone pitied them and ended their life. So how could this be? How could so many innocent people turn into those monsters, just like that?

It was too late to help them now. Serah deduced that it might have been a paradox causing the transformations, so if they could get rid of the paradox before anyone else was hurt, then perhaps things would be all right in the end.

"We need to move," Ashe said. "We can climb to the street above us, then head back to the gate. If we're lucky, the paradox will find us first."

Noel seemed a little hesitant, but nodded anyway. "Lead the way."

* * *

><p>There was definitely something on Noel's mind. He was always the one taking the lead, making sure Serah didn't get into too much trouble, or that Ashe didn't wander too far when she fell deep in her thoughts. Now, he was the one needing to be watched over, or told not to stray too far from the task at hand.<p>

It was because of Yeul. There was no other reason for his strange, melancholic behavior. Ever since they met her in Oerba, he'd been increasingly distant as time went on, waiting for Ashe and Serah to think of a plan before taking action. Yeul, and maybe Caius as well, was one of the most important people in his life—and he lost her. Because of that, Noel was starting to lose himself.

Ashe wasn't able to keep a close eye on him when the Cie'th started swarming them again. With each turn there were more and more monsters lying in wait, and each time they had no other choice but to fight.

Her sword did little damage to the crystallized bodies of the Cie'th, leaving her to rely on her magick instead of strength. Noel seemed to have no problem cutting into the monster's hard skin, jumping on the Cie'th back, jamming his sword into the neck and twisting the blade until the bones snapped. He turned with a savage look in his eyes, like a fire burning in the dark. With a yell, he kicked the Cie'th broken body.

"I'm sick and tired of this! We won't fight anymore." He turned sharply. "Hey! Whoever's out there—why don't you show yourself?"

On cue, the sound of faint footsteps reached their ears. Ashe raised her sword and moved next to Serah, but Noel stayed away, too consumed by his anger to even think about helping his friends.

"Caius."

The man smirked, the Ragnarok blade at his side. "Pretending to capitulate in order to buy yourself time… it's not a bad strategy."

"You've got no reason to fight me, Caius."

Just like in Oerba, fighting his old friend was the last thing on Noel's mind. The same couldn't be said for Caius, however.

"Wrong," Caius's voice boomed. "You are the enemy. You are contradictions in the timeline. I have every reason to eliminate you."

Contradictions… Paradoxes like the artefact in the Void Beyond, and the flan, and—Snow. Ashe felt her blood boil.

"Are we not supposed to exist?" she demanded, voice cracking.

"Two hundred years ago, you learned the forbidden history and were entombed in that tower as a consequence." Caius's gaze drifted to the glowing tower in the distance, the brightest building in the entire city. "But now you stand before me, alive and well once again. What can that be, if not a paradox?"

Serah grimaced. "Towers and forbidden histories? What's he talking about?" she whispered. "Could it be… from the future?"

"This isn't like you, Caius," Noel said tightly. "Why not kill us yourself?"

"A fitting sacrifice was required for you to comprehend your transgressions… To that end, I enlisted some assistance."

The eye on his sword began to glow a sickening crimson color, though Ashe could hear a distant voice screaming somewhere dark and cold… Lost. Before she could do anything, more Cie'th lumbered out from the buildings and street corners, and as the monsters cornered the trio, Caius chuckled.

"Your very existence poisons the timeline and invites disaster."

"We're not the cause of this paradox!" Serah shouted. She raised her bow and arrow when a Cie'th got too close and swiped at her and Ashe.

"Vermin," Caius continued as if Serah hadn't said a single thing. "If this tragedy is to come to an end, no trace of you must remain in this reality."

"You're gonna have to do better than this!" Noel yelled, then charged at the Cie'th. Serah ran after him, calling his name, and left Ashe to face Caius alone.

But like Noel had implied—Caius was not there to fight them. In fact, he only stood there, watching her like a silent sentinel.

"Why are you doing this?" Ashe asked. Her sword felt heavy in her hands, but she would not let exhaustion take her. "We're not a threat to these people, no matter what you say. We want to help!"

"If you wish to help… you will end your life here. Now."

"Not when there are still people I've yet to find. They need me."

She shut her eyes for a moment. She remembered Balthier's smile on the Phon Coast, and Lightning on her first day as Captain of the Dalmascan guard. She had been so nervous, but still so very proud… and sad. So very, very sad.

"And I need them," Ashe finished. "You will not stop me, Caius."

"Bold words for a human."

Caius vanished from sight, but the end of the battle was nowhere in sight. Behind her, almost muted by the groans of Cie'th, Noel gave a pained cry.

"_Yeul, no_! Get away from her!"

Ashe whipped around. Amidst the horde of Cie'th was Yeul, her arms lifted toward the horrific creatures as if she welcomed them to strike her down—she was asking for death. Noel dove right in the middle of the group to get to her, screaming her name, but by the time he got there…

He was too late.

While the others dealt with the Cie'th, Ashe did her best to drag Yeul away from the fight. There was so much blood; there couldn't have been any left inside the young girl. Yeul whimpered when Ashe set her down at the side of the road, and, almost blindly, the girl reached for her hand. Ashe hesitantly took it, gasping at how clammy her skin was.

All she could think was: _why did this happen?_ One minute Caius was there, threatening to destroy them, and then _Yeul_…

The purpose of their journey was to save the future, and in turn, save those they loved. But at this rate, they were never going to accomplish that. They had already lost Snow, now Yeul, and Hope was in another time, trying to save Cocoon.

This was not what Ashe wanted. This wasn't what any of them wanted.

"Yeul!" Noel let his swords clatter to the crowd as he rushed over, Serah not too far behind. He dropped to his knees, gathering the dying girl into his arms. "Yeul, why?"

Yeul's eyes fluttered open, hazy and bleary. "I saw death," she whispered. "If I were to live, it would bring contradiction to… to the timeline."

"But why?"

It was Serah who spoke next. "It's because of us. Just like Caius said—we're causing a paradox to occur. It happened in Sunleth!" she wept. "And because of that, Yeul has to—she has to…"

There was no other option. Yeul had to die.

"Caius?" Yeul asked. The man's very name seemed to rouse her. "Caius is not here."

Ashe gaped. "He's not in the city?"

_Bold words for a human._ The man who confronted them earlier was not Caius, nor was he a man at all. But what was he, then?

"Noel…?"

At Yeul's feeble voice, Noel pressed his hand to her pale cheek and forced a smile.

"Yeah?"

"I am not the Yeul you once knew… but thank you."

The girl went limp in his embrace, head still resting in the crook of his arm, cradled like a child. Noel pulled her closer, choking out a strained sob.

"For the love of Etro… don't thank me."


	13. The Forbidden History

"The mind of man is capable of anything—because everything is in it, all the past as well as all the future."

—Joseph Conrad, _Heart of Darkness_

* * *

><p>"Yeul wanted us to come here."<p>

Augusta Tower—two-hundred AF. It truly was a marvel, though the silence was far too haunting and brought chills to Ashe's skin. While there were many Academy scientists going about their day outside the lab, there was something strange about them, something… inhuman. Back on Yaschas Massif, Hope and the rest of the Academy were more than happy to assist them in their task, but here it was almost as if they couldn't see the newcomers.

"The gates link places and eras that are connected somehow," Noel explained, lounging against a row of computers. "Do you remember the forbidden history, the one Caius was talking about? I bet we'll find some clues here."

"And this could be the tower in which we'll meet our end," Ashe added. This tower was their tomb, according to Caius.

Serah, distracted from their conversation, wandered over to the computers and pressed on one of the keyboards. Almost immediately, sirens rang out, red lights flashing above their heads.

"_Paradox effect detected. Emergency lockdown in progress._"

"Not again…" Noel groaned.

There was nowhere for them to run this time; they were like sitting chocobos now. Ashe covered her ears and grimaced, then went to Serah's side. She pressed her hand against the flickering screen—and sighed with relief. The sirens stopped, and the room returned to its almost heavenly blue glow.

"_Thank you for accessing the Academy Datanet. The Proto fal'Cie Project was begun in thirteen AF, under the direction of the Academy. The objective was to develop an artificial fal'Cie in order to re-levitate Cocoon. The project was proposed and designed by Alyssa Zaidelle, and directed by Hope Estheim._"

Serah gasped, Mog excitedly hovering over her shoulder. "Do you realize what this means? The Academia fal'Cie must have been built by Hope."

There was a fal'Cie in Academia? Ashe rested against the desk and pursed her lips. Then that must have been why all those people had become Cie'th—the only ones who could control humans like that were the fal'Cie.

"Hope needed the power to float Cocoon, so he asked for a fal'Cie's help…" Noel grumbled. "Sounds familiar, doesn't it?"

Serah ignored his jab at Snow and smiled. "Vanille and Fang! He did it all for them."

"But then Caius took control of the artificial fal'Cie. And we need to find out why."

Ashe touched the screen again. "_Accessing archived footage: Academia, four-hundred AF._"

The screen lit up, almost like the Oracle Drive, and played an all too familiar scene:

It was a recording of their time in Academia. It showed Ashe facing off against Caius, and him ultimately rejecting her challenge to fight. Then it switched to Yeul—poor, innocent Yeul—dying in Noel's arms. And, finally, before the screen went blank, Caius looked directly at the camera and gave a cruel smirk.

"Was that us, from before?" Serah asked. Mog whined softly and huddled against her. "This machine can show different eras."

"He might have been watching us from here the whole time…" Noel murmured. Ashe faced him, then looked at the blank screen.

"Caius?"

"If that's who he really was. The Caius we met in Academia seemed different to me…" Noel scowled. "I don't think he was the real Caius."

"What makes you say that?"

"We used to spend a lot of time together. We were both guardians—warriors who are charged with protecting the seeress. Although I was young back then, just starting out." He looked at the ceiling for a moment, then sighed and turned away from the pair. "Anyway, he took off, left me and Yeul on our own."

For a moment, he fell silent. His dark eyes roved the room in a languid manner, almost as if his thoughts clouded his mind so much that he couldn't recognize where he was. Suddenly his expression twisted into rage, and he slammed his fist against the wall, making both Serah and Ashe jump.

"I couldn't protect her, not by myself," he spat. It took him a few moments to calm down enough to continue. "Then, when it was just me left, a portal appeared. I went through it, and the next thing I knew I was in Valhalla."

"You met them there, didn't you?" Serah tentatively asked. "My sister… and Caius."

He nodded. "I don't know why I keep running into him wherever I go. But I do know he wouldn't sacrifice the seeress. It's not in him. There's no way he'd allow Yeul to come to harm."

"Well, we've got to find him. Yeul brought us here, and we have to help."

Serah headed for the door with Mog, but Noel seemed too frustrated to take a single step. While it would have been better to leave him be and deal with his inner demons on his own, they needed to get moving. Ashe walked over and touched his shoulder.

"Not again…" Noel murmured drearily, pressing his palm to his forehead.

"What is it?"

"I'm missing some of my memories. I'm trying to think about what happened after Caius left us, but I can't… remember how Yeul died." He drew a sharp breath, then relaxed. "But I remember her face. I remember it like it was yesterday."

Not once had Noel mentioned his amnesia. Not to Ashe, at least. She had always assumed he was upset about the time Caius and Yeul confronted them in Oerba, but apparently there was far more to this than she could ever hope to understand.

But unfortunately, now was not the time to dwell on the past. Noel had said so himself, hadn't he?

"Noel," Ashe said as she pulled away from him. "Noel, we need to find Caius. That's what Yeul would want you to do."

He raised his eyes to meet hers. She wondered if she had that same broken look in Sunleth—the look of someone doing their best to stay strong, but ultimately giving in to their weaknesses. Swallowing thickly, he glanced to the side.

"Okay… Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry."

A half-hearted smile snuck across her lips. "There's no need to apologize."

Again, his gaze met hers, but this time he held it. Noel was usually the brash one of group, always taking the lead—but there was a certain tentativeness about him now. It was like that bold, confident attitude had never existed.

That look—that almost pathetic, desperate look… It sickened her to realize that she, too, once wore that same expression. That she had nearly fallen prey to her sorrow and anger, perhaps even a bit of jealousy.

Ashe looked down at her hand. Her fingers yearned to grasp Noel and shake him out of this uncanny depression, her lips dared to curse at him for even considering giving up. _Get over it_, she wanted to scream. _Move on_.

But Noel—hadn't he respected her wishes? She ordered him to leave things be, to not act for her when all she wanted was to fight back. Noel did as she asked without question.

She drew away, curling her fingers at her sides.

What good would it do to ask of his pain? Surely he'd react poorly. He'd hide his sorrow, wearing a mask of optimism and pride—or he would lash out at her, berate her for keeping so many secrets when he wanted to help her.

She had to leave him be. He never pressed her to do anything, and so she would do the same for him. But if he did ask for help, she wouldn't turn him away.

Noel's eyes flickered from her hands to her face. He stood, pulling his shoulders upright.

"Right. Let's go."

* * *

><p>Something was wrong.<p>

The soldiers and scientists alike paid absolutely no attention to the three time travelers as they meandered around the base floor. Even when Serah approached a man and asked where the Director was, he brushed past her, uttering about repairing the glitches in the system.

They were just about to give up and head off on their own when they spotted a familiar face.

"Hey, that girl…" Serah pointed out. "Isn't that Alyssa? What's she doing in this time period?"

"She does look like Alyssa, but it can't be her," Noel answered. "Let's find out for sure."

As if she sensed their arrival, the Alyssa double turned and gave a spine-chilling smile.

"Nice to meet you."

Serah gaped. "Nice to meet you? She doesn't know who we are. I guess she's not Alyssa after all."

The double's smile faded as she tilted her head. "Alyssa?"

"We used to know a girl who looked like you, but that was hundreds of years ago."

Her lips parted into a 'o', and she bowed respectfully to the trio. "Ah, my apologies. I must recalibrate my previous greeting. It appears you are acquainted with the Original."

"Original?" Ashe asked.

"I am a duplicate of the Alyssa Zaidelle entity. My design is based on her biophysical data."

At least that explained the strange behavior of all the people in this place. They were all machines.

"A fabricated life form," the double continued, as if reading Ashe's thoughts. "Or a living machine. The semantics are irrelevant."

Mog gave a shaky, worried sounding 'kupo!' and shivered behind Serah's shoulders.

"Have you had any other visitors lately?" Noel pushed himself between Ashe and Serah, facing the Alyssa double. "Like someone called Caius, for example."

She nodded diligently. "The Caius entity came through recently, accompanied by a green eyed girl. They were proceeding to the top of the tower."

"Yeul's here, too? Why?"

Serah fell silent for a moment, her nose scrunching in thought. "Do you think Yeul came here to tell us some kind of secret? Maybe the forbidden history that's supposedly locked in this tower…"

"Trying to look on the bright side, are you? Still, you might be right. If it means protecting the true timeline, the seeress is bound to help us."

The true timeline—Ashe wondered what that really was. Perhaps she was never meant to meet Snow and Lightning, Serah and Noel… and perhaps all of this was merely a paradox they would be forced to erase, just like Noel predicted.

"If anyone knows the secrets of this tower, it'll be Caius. We have to talk to him if we want to resolve this paradox." Serah smiled, so hopeful and eager.

"We make the first move," Noel agreed. "Alyssa, can you take us to the top floor?"

The duplicate nodded again and motioned toward the circular elevator to their left. "Of course, right this way."

Ashe couldn't shake the bad vibe from her conscious. The air suddenly felt thick and constricting, and she felt as if she'd be gasping for breath if she took another step. She willed her legs to move, but as soon as she stepped onto the elevator, that bad vibe grew stronger.

"Wait," she murmured just as the elevator began to rise. Only Serah turned toward her with a quiet "hm?", but by then it was too late.

The elevator shuddered and came to a sudden halt, nearly knocking Ashe off her feet. She gripped the railing, whipping her head around to meet the Alyssa duplicate's cruel stare. Dark clouds filtered through the air and around them, flashes of lightning blinding them temporarily. Ashe caught a glimpse of waves of golden ribbons, but they soon faded as the screen over their heads lit up.

"_Go see what's happening_."

Hope! Hope was there—along with the real Alyssa and some other researchers.

"_On it—_" the man's words became nothing more than a mangled scream, and Hope turned with fear dancing in his eyes.

"_What is this_?"

Hope brought his arms up to defend himself as Alyssa shrieked in terror—then the screen went black.

"Hope!" Noel shouted. "What the hell was that?"

The duplicate turned to them with venom in her words. "This was an effect of the paradox," she answered matter-of-factly. "You just witnessed an event that took place on this spot one-hundred-eighty-seven years ago."

"Wait a minute," Serah breathed, "so you're saying the real Hope and Alyssa were murdered?"

"Yes. After the tower was completed. During the Proto fal'Cie development project, the artificial intelligence and humans came into conflict."

"The artificial intelligence _killed them_? Because they were in the way!"

"I'm afraid so."

Ashe clenched her fingers about her sword's hilt. "Is this our fault? Their deaths… they were killed in this tower. And then the fal'Cie took control of the Academy!"

Noel stared at her as if her words were the lost pieces of a puzzle, understanding lining his features. "The broken fal'Cie was created by a broken artificial intelligence," he said. "Humans were betrayed and then they were wiped out. And these duplicates—" He turned toward the Alyssa double. "These duplicates were mechanical puppets built to hide what happened."

"You've seen it now." The duplicate smiled coldly. "You've seen the forbidden history. People who know too much have to be buried."

She vanished in a blink, and the elevator gates closed with a distinct click. Noel gave a heavy sigh.

"Looks like they closed the door on us… Well, now that we've seen the forbidden history, it seems we're stuck here for good."

"That's what Caius said… He believed us to be dead," Ashe spoke quietly. Mog hung his head and flopped to the floor in a huff. "In Caius's memory, the next thing that happens is… we die."

"That's why he acted the way he did. As far as he was concerned, we were supposed to be dead. He saw us two-hundred years later, assumed it was a paradox and tried to get rid of us."

Serah crossed her arms and went to the edge of the platform. Ashe could almost see the wheels and gears turning in her head.

"But there's a way out. If we can survive now, instead of dying, that will automatically change history!" she exclaimed. "We can save the future."

* * *

><p><em>We can save the future<em>. Bold words, considering their situation. No matter what they tried, they couldn't find some way out of the elevator. Serah tried climbing onto Noel's shoulders to reach the floor above them, but they soon fell onto the floor in a heap of both laughter and distress. Later they attempted to beat the gates open, but all they only managed to put a dent in it.

"It's no use," Noel groaned, resting against the railing. "We're stuck."

Serah suddenly gasped and reached into her pocket, pulling out the Madness's crystal. "I almost forgot about you!"

The creature yawned tiredly, his crystal glowing as he awoke from his long nap. "_Mm? What is it now, Serah?_"

"We need to fly."

The very thought sent Noel into a panic. He paled and gripped the railing, perfectly content with staying on the firm, hard floor. But his protests were unheard, and soon they were riding the Madness's back and soaring to the top of the tower.

"I—really hate flying!" Noel all but screamed into Ashe's ear, clinging to her as if his life depended on it. "This is worst than those chocobos, I swear!"

Ashe could almost hear Balthier: "_You'd make a terrible pirate, boy._"

When the Madness glided to the top floor and lie down on the cold tile, Noel practically threw himself off the creature and tried his best to embrace the floor. Serah laughed as she thanked the Madness by stroking his downy feathers, and Ashe whispered a simple cure spell to soothe the boy's oncoming nausea.

They were soon on their way, rushing up the stairs as if they knew exactly what would be waiting for them. Noel abruptly stopped at the top of the stairs, causing Ashe to bump into his back.

"Yeul," he whispered, the name so familiar on his tongue. "Are you on your own?"

The girl stood by a whirring computer, a glowing artefact in her hands.

"I brought you this."

Serah gladly took the artefact, though regarded it with confusion. "Why? What should we do with it?"

"You must protect the timeline. I saw you in Oerba… I trust you. I believe in you."

"That's right, we're in the same time as when we met in Oerba. So you're the same Yeul…" Serah pursed her lips. "But who are you? Who are the Farseers?"

Yeul brought her gaze downward for a moment, then looked up again. "I am the seeress of the oldest tribe on Pulse. My visions of the future are recorded and stored in the Oracle Drive. But that… is long in the past. There is no more need to record the prophecies. I have Caius now."

"What do you mean?"

"He is tasked with protecting the seeress and remembering her visions. Now and forever… he will remember the entire timeline. Caius—he is beyond death."

"He's immortal?" Ashe asked. "But humans… humans cannot obtain immortality without a price! A life for a life… isn't that the rule?"

The girl nodded. "The seeress possesses the Eyes of Etro, and inside Caius beats the Heart of Chaos. The goddess has gifted him the curse of eternity… He is a Guardian, and his mission is to protect the seeress." Her expression went cold and solemn. "The power to see the future is a terrible weapon. It can turn history into chaos."

"But I don't understand," Serah blurted out. "Why are you helping us? I mean… you do know we're trying to change history, right?"

"History has already been broken. The timeline had been twisted before I met you, and the distortion leads to a future of death and destruction." Yeul smiled softly. "If you change the future, you can change the past and correct the distortions. The miracle that saved Cocoon has already been altered."

Cocoon's crystallization… the time when Lightning journeyed to Ivalice.

"Two who were meant to survive did not come home."

"You mean my sister? A-and Snow?" Serah gasped. "You do, don't you! You're saying that Lightning shouldn't have disappeared that day, and Snow was never meant to leave home!"

Yeul nodded again. "It was because the future was changed."

So they had been right all along. Ashe knew that both Lightning and Snow were never meant to find Ivalice, and Balthier—Balthier wasn't supposed to disappear, either.

"If you change the future again, the true past will be restored," Yeul continued. "The past that you still remember, Serah. Together, the three of you can correct the timeline."

But if they did that, what would happen to the present? What would happen to Noel's time period? Ashe brought her hand to the lightning-bolt charm, clasping the tiny thing tightly. She wanted to save the future, but if it meant losing Noel and potentially her memories of Serah, Snow and Lightning—was it really worth it?

"Can you… tell us something else?" Noel stepped forward; he'd been so quiet this entire time. "Someone has been laying traps for us in this tower. Do you know who's behind it?"

"Your enemy. It is here in the tower… It has generated the contradictions that threaten you." Yeul turned and pointed toward the massive computer. "The machine is sentient."

"Machine? So the Caius we met in Academia, he was…"

"An imitation created by the machine."

"And the other Caius? The one we saw in the tower."

"He is real. He brought me here, and when we are finished, he will take me away." Yeul smiled at them. "Please, let me see a new future."

Noel did his best to return her smile. "We'll do it, I promise."

"Thank you…"

When they turned to leave, Ashe paused and looked back to the girl. Yeul watched her carefully, green eyes almost blank for a moment until she closed them.

"Shadows of the past wait in the beyond… What you seek will find you first."


	14. Meddlesome Gods

"It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything."

—Chuck Palahniuk, _Fight Club_

* * *

><p>Forget saving the future and reuniting with lost loved ones—all Ashe wanted to do right now was give Hope the slap he so very much deserved. Those who sought the aid of the gods were hardly ever in their right mind. The first face that came to mind was Snow's; after all, he admitted to accepting Etro's aid in his task. To becoming a l'Cie <em>again<em> for a still unknown reason. His heart was in the right place, but he would always be a fool. She expected that sort of behavior from him, but not Hope.

While she could understand his desire to save Cocoon, and Fang and Vanille, Ashe couldn't help but wonder: just what was Hope _thinking_?

A fal'Cie… He built an entire _fal'Cie_ to save his friends, and instead he met his end at the hands of his own creation. It was tragic irony at its best, but now was not the time to question Hope's sanity. No—right now there were more… important things to focus on.

Ashe raised her hand and sent another flurry of thunder spells at the fal'Cie, but each bounced off just as easily as the rest of their attacks. She was already exhausted; each spell drained her of magickal energy, and her arms ached with every swing of her sword. A bead of sweat trickled down her brow, and she wiped it away with a trembling hand.

Lightning had once told her of the time she fought the fal'Cie Anima, felling the godly machine in a manner of minutes. This fal'Cie was not even a real one. It was merely a copycat of Anima… a sentient machine. And yet no matter how much damage they dealt, Adam kept coming back, even stronger than the last incarnate.

Again she wondered: _what in all of Ivalice was Hope thinking?_

Noel and Serah were not faring any better. Maybe the fake Caius had been right—this tower was going to be their tomb.

"As long as the crossroads between past and future exist, you cannot defeat the Proto fal'Cie, kupo!" Mog cried, falling into Serah's arms.

The fal'Cie vanished after Ashe finally landed a scathe spell—but then, to no surprise, the machine appeared once more.

"Not again…" Serah groaned.

"This is Hope's fault," Noel growled, raising his dual blades. "He was the one who started building these things! The Proto fal'Cie and AI both… If we don't stop this thing from regenerating, we're never going to get out of here!"

Ashe whispered a cure spell to soothe the sores on his hands. Her fingers grazed his, and she lifted her eyes once his skin stitched itself back together.

"What can we do?" she asked.

"I… I really don't know. Part of me wishes Yeul could've… told us how to beat this thing," Noel panted, resting against Ashe's shoulder for a moment. "Or maybe the real Caius could've helped…"

"Wishful thinking?"

He nodded, grinning at her. "Wishful thinking."

All the while, Serah seemed to be cooking up a plan of her own.

"The machine must be manipulating the past… but then, there's no reason we can't, either! Please, I hope you're watching this!"

Both Ashe and Noel turned, just as Mog reverted to his sword form and fell into her welcoming hands.

"Hope! Can you hear me? I've got a bone to pick with you! These machines you built _are driving me nuts_!"

Without any warning, Serah made a mad dash straight for the fal'Cie, sword raised above her head as she screamed in anger. Then, seconds before the blade could connect—the fal'Cie vanished from sight. Serah gave a sigh of relief, but her boots slipped against the cold metal of the platform, and as she turned to face the other two, Serah lost her footing. Noel dashed for her without a second thought, snatching her hand and pulling her back up.

Then the lights went out with a loud crack. Ashe brought her sword up and spun around, then settled down once she knew—rather, felt that they were safe.

"You did it, Serah!" Noel laughed. "The fal'Cie's gone."

The girl stared at him with wide eyes. "But I didn't do anything. At least, I don't think I did."

"Well, it worked. Now we need to find the gate, and—Serah?"

Serah had gone strangely rigid, staring straight up at the ceiling, an eerie, yellow glow in her eyes. Her body jerked with a gasp, and Noel caught her before she could hit the floor.

"Serah! Hey, Serah!" He shook her, practically pleading with her. "Serah, are you all right? Can you hear me?"

Ashe bent down beside them, readying a cure spell in case Serah needed it. The girl's eyes fluttered open, and she touched her pendant with a weak hand.

"I'm alive?"

"What? Why wouldn't you be?" Noel asked, half-laughing. A nervous reaction, of course.

"I… I'm not sure. But I'm okay now."

"That's a relief. You had me worried there for a second. Can't break my promise to Snow, can I?" He pointed at her pendant.

Serah smiled. "No, of course not. You worry too much, Noel."

The elevator brought them back down to the base level of the tower. All the duplicates were gone, and the computers had all shut off. The whole tower had become nothing more than a ghost town—Serah moved closer to Ashe and Noel, while poor Mog shivered anxiously between the trio. They were relieved to find the time gate right where they left it.

"Hey… guys?" Serah fiddled with her pendant. "If we could so easily change the past… and the future like we did…"

"We'll change them both for the better. Okay?" Noel gave her a confident grin. "The future will be a better place, and you'll be reunited with Lightning and Snow in the past. That's what you want, isn't it?"

"More than anything! It's just… I've got a bad feeling about this. About everything."

"But this is what we're meant to do. Yeul said so herself… we're doing the right thing, Serah," Ashe added. She understood how the girl felt, doubting their intentions and wondering how fine the line was between right and wrong.

Serah seemed unconvinced; her lips were pulled back into a firm frown. "Even the smallest paradox can mess up the timeline! We could do something wrong, just one thing, and… and everything we worked for wouldn't mean anything."

"They believe in us." Noel turned around and grabbed Serah's shoulders. "Lightning, Snow, Hope and Yeul—they all believe we can save the future. I do, too."

"If Lightning did not believe in us, why would she ask for our help?" Ashe patted Mog's head, smiling when the moogle plopped into her arms. "This is what we're meant to do. We'll save our friends, Serah, and we'll get our happy ending."

"A happy ending…" Serah cast her eyes downward, finally letting go of her pendant. "That's one thing all of us deserve."

* * *

><p>Ashe opened her eyes to a bright, bustling city. Buildings towered over them, almost like they reached and could touch the sky itself, and there were <em>so many people<em>. She could hardly believe it! Noel looked utterly overwhelmed, much like he was back in Yaschas Massif when he first laid eyes on the Academy.

"Welcome to the future you saved."

Hearing Hope's voice again was a bit of a shock, for more reasons than expected. The time gate in the Historia Crux read 4XX AF, which meant this version of Academia was four-hundred years into their future. Hope shouldn't have been alive at this point, especially considering what had taken place in Augusta Tower.

But here, even in this time, Hope was alive and well. Alyssa was there, too, waiting by the train with a big smile on her face.

"Are they real?" Noel murmured, a small smile playing at his lips.

"Is that a polite way to greet old friends?" Hope asked, waving them over. "We haven't seen each other in, what, how many years?"

"It's been all of three-hundred-ninety years. I guess you guys have been busy, huh?" Alyssa offered her hand to Noel, who took it with a little bit of hesitancy. Ashe kept her distance, however.

"We saw both of you die," she said slowly. "The AI killed you."

Hope frowned. "Is that what would have happened, had we continued with the project?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"We activated the Oracle Drive and watched the prophecy, and I saw you fighting the Proto fal'Cie. I wasn't sure what to make of it until Serah started screaming out at me."

The girl giggled, holding Mog close. "Well, I was pretty ticked off by that point."

"Exactly. So we were forced to reevaluate the project, and eventually we abandoned it."

Noel burst out laughing at that point, holding his sides and bending over. "So you saw Serah getting mad at you, so cancelled your project, and poof! The Proto fal'Cie disappeared."

"So fighting it did nothing after all…" Ashe said, shoulders slumping. All that work, and it was for nothing. All Hope needed to do was understand how foolish he had been.

"We were following the wrong path to the future," Hope continued. "If the Proto fal'Cie had managed to get control of Cocoon, it would have made itself the second Eden, and we'd be back where we began."

How ironic—they'd get a second chance, if that were the case.

"We realized we couldn't let that happen, so we have to levitate Cocoon using only human technology. We've made progress on the investigation into the Thirteenth Ark… and we're almost ready to start the main stage. The Academy has collected these ore clusters called Graviton Cores over the past four-hundred years, and these ores can power the Ark's reactor."

"That's great news!" Serah exclaimed.

"It will take us a century to complete the new Cocoon, but it's worth a shot." Hope grinned, looking more like an excited child than the Director of the Academy they knew so well. "We can only hope that the pillar stays intact during this time."

"Well, if it's stayed up this long, we should be all right. We stopped the flan from melting the pillar in Sunleth, after all."

Hope nodded, then motioned toward the train. "Speaking of which, Serah—there's something you should see."

The Graviton Cores weren't something the Academy had stumbled on during their research. About ten years ago, while Hope and Alyssa were still in their deep sleep through time, someone, another time traveler, had visited the Academy and gave them the ores. At first Ashe wondered if Balthier had finally returned, or that Lightning had escaped Valhalla—but even she couldn't help but smile when that familiar grinning face appeared on the screen.

"—_not even sure this thing is working, but… hey, anyway!_"

"Wait a second, that can't be Snow, can it?" Noel spluttered. "How the hell did he get to Academia?"

"All paradoxes vanish from the timeline, but…" Ashe pursed her lips. "Apparently not."

"_Not sure if I'm in the future or the past to you guys, and… I was kinda hoping we'd meet up again, but I guess Noel was right—our paths are different for now. But that doesn't mean we won't see each other again soon._" Snow looked over at something off-screen, then grinned again. "_After we went our separate ways, I found a gate in the Void Beyond… then I started looking around. For Balthier and sis, you know._"

"Of course," Noel murmured disdainfully.

"_And then I ended up here, and apparently all these… crazy scientists have actually been looking for these Graviton things I picked up. Dumb luck, huh? Oh, yeah, before I forget! I swear I saw Balthier the other day, but… I don't think he saw me. Figures; he's still looking the other way._" Snow looked down, fiddling with his necklace—the same thing Serah did whenever she was anxious. "_Anyway, just wanted to let you guys know I'm still out there, rooting for you from afar. Maybe we'll cross paths again?_"

The image fizzled out, and the screen went blank. Ashe's gaze lingered on the empty space, then after a moment she turned and faced the others.

"I'm a little disappointed I was still asleep while he was here. It's been hundreds of years since we last spoke," Hope said, pressing a few keys on the computer. "But apparently Snow left quite the impression on the Academy at the time."

"I don't doubt that one bit," Serah said, crossing her arms behind her back.

"And it's thanks to him you guys are able to get moving on the next phase, right?" Noel asked begrudgingly. "I thought you were going to send us on another errand."

Alyssa hummed softly over by another computer. "Our little errand trio! Think of it this way: you get a century long break."

"It's more like a day for us, but… sure, thanks."

"Anytime! You can stick around for a while, if you want. This morning we recovered an artefact for the recently repaired time gate, but we're not done analyzing it. We should be done by tomorrow, though."

Noel smirked. "But we can always jump forward in time and see tomorrow sooner than later."

"Shall we make a game of it? First one to tomorrow wins?"

"Abusing the goddess's gift for mere 'games' does not sound fun at all," Ashe muttered, crossing her arms. Noel's smile vanished instantly, and he shuffled off to the side to speak with Hope.

* * *

><p>There was never any way of telling where the artefacts would take them. Noel firmly held the belief that each artefact would bring them closer to Lightning in Valhalla, and soon they would be reunited again. Serah, on the other hand, didn't mind to wait a little longer to see her sister.<p>

"If we can help as many people as we can along the way, I think Lightning would understand if we took a few side-trips."

"We're not rescuing any more cats, Serah," Noel grumbled.

"_I am no cat!_" the Madness snarled from inside his crystal. "_Parachute pants, please—I am a lion. A fierce, proud lion._"

"Emphasis on the proud part."

The time gate stood at the end of a courtyard, nearly hidden by the glittering water pouring from a fountain. A few people gazed at the strange anomaly in wonder, but moved on and went about their day without a single care in the world. The city of Academia was well protected, and its people had no fear of danger outside the city walls. Ashe wondered if Snow had something to do with that. Protecting others was certainly his goal in life, after all.

"So… I guess we move on now." Serah held the artefact, an gray stone encased in twists of emerald. "We let the Academy do their part, and we head off to the future…"

"I wish we could stay," Ashe replied. When Noel and Serah looked at her with their brows raised and eyes wide, she spluttered, "N-not that I want to abandon our task! It was… nice to settle down for a night… to not care about the world for a moment."

She hadn't felt like this since… well, since her time in Sunleth. Of course there was the initial anger and fear due to Snow's sudden reappearance, but when she listened and _understood_ him, she felt at ease. She felt… safe. Perhaps knowing Snow was still alive helped her see that things would be all right. They could do this. They could save the future.

Ashe chuckled and pressed a hand to her forehead. Snow's ability to lift any dampened spirits must have rubbed off on her.

"Leaving without even a farewell?"

Hope stepped out of the Academy cruiser with Alyssa at his side. Mog flew over to greet the pair, whizzing around the heads and swatting at them with his crystal baton.

"What? No, of course not!" Noel stammered. "We were going to drop by and see you before we left."

"That's what we figured," Alyssa chimed in, wagging a finger at his face. "Thought we'd save you the trip!"

"How… kind of you," Ashe said, resting her hands on her hips. "Thank you."

Alyssa giggled, so childlike and giddy.

"I hope the future turns out like this," Serah marveled. "A place where we can be happy."

"Sometimes, when it looks like all hope is lost, people can turn against each other. They end up full of hate." Alyssa tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled. "But really, when they stop and think about it, they're making themselves sad for no reason, and—Director, why are you looking at me like that?"

During the few moments Ashe had looked away, Hope had been staring at Alyssa with that all too familiar look—guilt, dejection, and regret.

"Sorry," he said, bowing his head. "I was just remembering something… There was a time when I almost lost myself because I had so much hate inside. And then some friends showed me a way out."

"Right," Serah breathed. "You mean Lightning and Snow."

Hope smiled at the memory, and walked a few paces to the side. "It all began back then. I remember, Serah: weren't you the first one who said you wanted to save Cocoon? It was because Snow and Lightning vowed to carry out your wish that we all came together. And to this day, Vanille and Fang still keep Cocoon safe."

"And maybe Lightning does, too," Noel added grimly. Hope turned away for a moment, looking towards the crystal pillar.

"Yes, but the old ark is almost finished. It will fall soon… and it's going to be hard for many of us to abandon our old home."

"But when you raise the new ark, maybe you can help your friends as well. They won't have to bear the burden of a world anymore, so maybe they'll finally be released from their crystal sleep."

Alyssa gave a sudden gasp, then prodded at Hope's chest accusingly. "That was always in the back of your mind, wasn't it, Director?" she asked. "If we abandoned the old Cocoon, maybe you could free your friends. Or am I wrong?"

"Er, well—"

"It's okay, we all knew. We wanted to help anyway."

"And I'm grateful. I've had the great fortune to be helped by so many people over the years, and I've got you three to thank for that. You are the ones who showed me how the future should be."

Isn't that what Serah had been worried about earlier—whether this truly was the right path?

_What if it wasn't?_

"Humanity is doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past," Noel spoke, breaking Ashe from her thoughts. "It's part of being human. But we also have the ability to build new futures and new beginnings." Noel rested a hand on Ashe's shoulder. "Right, Ashe?"

"New beginnings…" She closed her eyes and clasped the lightning-bolt charm. "Yes, that's exactly what we can do."

Lightning, Snow and Hope—they believed in a better future. She couldn't let them down.

"Once preparations are complete," Hope said with sigh, "we plan to journey ahead one hundred years. I want to be there. I want to see the raising of Cocoon with my own eyes."

"I'm sure we'll meet again, Hope," Serah promised and took his hand. "And we'll have the whole gang back together again, too."

He returned her smile and nodded. "In the new future, then."

* * *

><p>Ashe couldn't shake that bad, ill feeling even after they entered the Historia Crux. She glided alongside Noel, watching the wheels of time turn on each locked gate, the cool air brushing against her clammy skin. This couldn't have been anything like the feeling Serah had in the Augusta Tower, but this was… gods, she felt so <em>ill<em>.

It seemed she wasn't the only one.

"Mog, what's the matter?" Serah asked when the moogle came flying over to her, 'kupo'ing about something.

That was when things took a turn for the worse.

Time gates crashed and clambered against one another, falling and cracking around the three. Some of the gates activated themselves, flicking with life as a distant clock began ticking. Ashe ducked her head when one wheel came spinning right for her, but Mog wasn't so lucky; the moogle went tumbling away, crystal pom-pom bobbing all the while.

"_Mog_!"

Serah lunged for the moogle and managed to catch him, but—another wheel went spiraling out of control, and took Serah with it.

"Serah!" Ashe screamed, reaching for the gate. She felt Noel grab her arm and pull her into a firm embrace. Her nose pressed against the crook of his neck, and Ashe could feel his heart pounding beneath her hands. A time gate opened before them, and soon everything went dark.


	15. At Wit's End

"The happiness consists in realizing that this is all a great strange dream."

—Jack Kerouac, _Lonesome Traveler_

* * *

><p>It was the dull ache in her head that slowly dragged Ashe back to reality, although—she wasn't quite sure if she even wanted to get up. The air was sticky and thick, a foul, putrid smell filling her senses as she pushed herself up from the cold stone, or at least, when she tried to move. There was something heavy on her back, dead weight keeping her uncomfortably grounded.<p>

"Noel," she gasped. "Noel, please _get off of me._"

He wouldn't budge. The sudden jump through time had sent them both sprawling out of consciousness (reality—?), so she didn't expect him to be up and ready so soon. It didn't mean she was going to wait forever, though.

Ashe rolled onto her back as much as she could, then, her muscles straining against his weight, she shoved Noel off. Gods, he was heavy! She lie there for a moment to catch her breath, chest heaving with each pant. Once she felt well enough to move, she crawled over to Noel's prone from and touched his back, searching for any immediate injuries. Surely they'd both carry bruises from this fall, but he seemed healthy enough to move.

With this in mind, she tapped his cheek with her palm, rousing him. He groaned weakly and opened his tired eyes, then closed them once he spotted Ashe.

"… the hell happened?"

She took a slow, deep breath, and tucked her legs against her chest. "I don't know. One moment we were together, and then…" Then they lost Serah and Mog. Noel nodded in understanding as he sat up.

"I think… I think something went wrong."

"A paradox, you mean?"

"I'm not sure. I mean, everything was fine up until we left. You don't think anything happened to the future, do you?" He turned toward her with a wild look in his eyes. "Ashe, what if there is no future?"

She smiled and touched his arm. "Then you would not be here. The future still exists, and you're proof of that."

"Right… right. So where are we?"

"The Void Beyond, I believe. We've been here before."

"We must have taken a wrong turn again. Snow ended up here, too, didn't he?" Noel pursed his lips. "So that means we're lost."

"We just need to find our way home, then."

He looked at her again, meeting her eyes this time.

"Serah wasn't kidding when she said you're turning into an optimist."

Ashe couldn't help but chuckle. "Yes, well, I've been told it's not always the best way to approach things. False happiness is something I'd prefer to avoid."

"That makes two of us."

They walked aimlessly along the rough rocks and fallen pillars, careful not to tread too far and end up lost. There was something wrong and different about this place, but neither of them could figure out just what. It looked exactly the same as before; Etro's throne still glittered brightly amidst the shadows.

Normally they could hear nothing but the wind in this realm, but now Ashe heard faint cries in the distance, voices telling her to _run away_—

She stopped.

"What's the matter?" Noel asked, facing her.

"Can you hear them?"

"Hear who?"

She closed her eyes. The voices were growing closer, but they were still distorted and weak.

"They're lost. They're…" she opened her eyes and reached for her sword. "They're warning us, Noel. We can't stay."

"Ashe, come on. What are you talking about? There aren't any voices. It's just us."

No—she wasn't hearing things. Ashe turned around and looked at Etro's throne, the lights dancing off the crystal and onto the cracked tile.

—_told you to stay until I came back._

What…?

_Ashelia, please. You need to run!_

"Where are you?" she whispered.

The Void was a haven for souls that had lost their way, in both life and death. Here in this barren land, they could find solace and perhaps even salvation from their tortured dreams and memories. But what about the souls that still lived? What happened to them?

… _to us?_

Ashe couldn't take her eyes off Etro's throne. This land was under the goddess's protection, and all these trapped souls were there by her bidding.

Her mind moved in a blur, and her vision swam—but the crystal stayed the same. It was a pillar keeping her grounded. Ashe took a shaky step forward, her knees almost buckling underneath her weight. She felt like she couldn't breathe, the cold air sweeping through her as if she were a ghost. _A soul_.

The Void warped into a bright landscape, surrounded by cliffs of sand and stone, and a hot, blazing sun shining from above. It was strange how she still felt so very cold, despite the sudden shift in temperature. Ashe raised her arm and looked around, her feet sinking into the sand as she wandered.

"Noel?" she called out. "Noel, where are we?"

When she turned the other way, it wasn't Noel who waited for her. A figure, shrouded in shadows and wisps of golden ribbons—just like when Rabanastre was consumed by a paradox.

"Who are you?"

The figure said nothing. Like a silent sentinel, it only watched her.

"You…" She remembered their trips to the Void before—the figure watching her from behind the wall of water.

"Snow?"

It really was him, wasn't it? But—Snow was still alive. Alive, but not lost. He was somewhere down the timeline, looking for Balthier and Lightning. He didn't belong here.

Wait.

Snow had indeed been to the Void Beyond, but shortly afterward he found his way to Academia, so he wasn't lost. But—this soul, staring at her now, was…

"Mateus."

Ashe took another step toward him, but no matter how far she walked, he was moved away from her.

"It really is you… but how?" she breathed. "What are you doing here? Here…" She looked around again, this time toward the bright sun. "Where _is_ here?"

It looked like Dalmasca… it looked like _home_.

Mateus tilted his head in a curious way.

"No… my home is elsewhere, isn't it? This is—not real."

She had to fight. Break free of whatever hold this place had on her. She was no lost soul! She had a home with Noel, Serah and Lightning—Balthier and Snow, too. These people were her friends, her family… None of them were lost. They all had a purpose, and it was to help Etro—

_Don't do this, Ashelia._

"Then what do you want me to do? Mateus, please! Tell me!"

_Run!_

What—

"Ashe, run!"

Noel! Ashe whipped around, but the sight before her nearly made her scream.

Caius stood over Noel, Ragnarok blade drawn at his side. And Noel—_no!_—Noel was on his hands and knees, his own swords carelessly tossed away sometime during their battle. But when…? No—she had to move. She had to help!

"Ashe! Get out of here!" Noel rasped, struggling to stand and face her. "_Now!_"

"Noel—"

There was a sickening squelch and snap—blood splattered across Ashe's face and torso, staining the white cloth red.

The blade had gone straight through Noel's stomach, tearing through him as if his skin were mere paper. He stared at Ashe with wide, horrified eyes, blood flecked sputum rolling down the side of his lips. Noel gave a muted cry, barely raising his arm to reach for her before Caius jerked the sword out from his body. With a soft thud, Noel collapsed at her feet.

"My apologies, friend," Caius spoke lazily. "Pray you find purpose elsewhere."

Ashe dropped to her knees and grasped helplessly at Noel's prone form. She pulled him into her arms and shook him, but his blue eyes remained glassy and lifeless. As she reached to cup his cheek, Noel's body became nothing more than black smoke filtering through the air. She sat there numbly, staring at her empty hands, only looking up when Caius stepped toward her.

"Tell me," he spoke gravely. "Where do you belong?"

"Why does it matter?"

"If your heart truly desires something, this world can make it reality. You need only surrender."

"To what? Death by your hand?" she asked bitterly. "I think not. I choose to live."

Caius's lips twitched at the corner. "I'm not giving you a choice." And with that he raised the Ragnarok blade, still dripping with Noel's blood. Ashe shut her eyes and gripped for her own sword, ready to fight—

There was a loud crash, the clanging of swords crossing, but Ashe didn't feel anything. She opened with eyes with a startled gasp, only to find herself staring at someone else's back rather than Caius's sword. It was that shadowy figure of the Void—Mateus himself.

"You," Caius grunted, struggling against the other man's weight. "Even in death, you protect her?"

Mateus stayed silent.

"Years ago, did you not wish for her death? Did you not swear to end her life while her loved ones watch?" Caius smirked thinly. "I see now. You are nothing but a shell—a fragment of another's soul."

A fragment—? Ashe shakily got to her feet, hands grasping for her own sword.

"Snow's alive," she breathed. "I saw him. He's _alive_."

"And in turn, this puppet is alive as well."

"But how?"

Caius stared at her over Mateus's shoulders. Minutes ago, this man was trying to kill her. He killed _Noel_. And now—now he was afraid for his own life. He would barter with her, ask if they could join arms and slay the monster called Mateus.

"A sacrifice has been made," Caius answered. "A life for a life. You know this."

She did. She had suspected all along that Balthier had a role to play in Snow's revival.

"The goddess only granted life to one, and unfortunately you are not him." Caius lifted his eyes to Ashe again. "You live to protect this girl, but she is not yours to protect. You live a life that is not _yours_."

With impressive strength, Caius stabbed his sword into the ground, causing the whole platform to quake and crumble. Waves of chaos tore out from beneath the rocks, knocking Ashe off her feet and slamming her against the cold crystal Etro's throne. She heard something snap—

"The goddess does not grant wishes so freely," Caius spoke, his voice muffled as everything began to blur. Ashe struggled to keep her eyes open. To her left sat Mateus, his helmet lying broken at his feet and blood trickling down his chin from his lips.

Why this?

"I serve no goddess," Ashe spat.

"She chose you. Why is that?"

She felt a strange numbness spread through her body, all the way to her toes and fingertips. The blast—when she hit the crystal, she must have… Ashe grit her teeth. _Gods_, this was not the way to die. She wanted to fight!

"I don't _know_. I never—" It hurt so much to breathe. "I never asked for this…"

"Are you so sure?"

_No. Yes._

_I don't know._

Caius bent down to her level, cupping her chin and bringing her head up.

"Rest now."

With one last feeble breath, Ashe slipped away.

* * *

><p>"<em>You fight bravely. Your friends gave up much more quickly than this."<em>

"_What have you done to them?"_

"_They are both living in a time and place where they know only joy. They acknowledged defeat, and now they are at peace. Surrender now to your heart's desire."_

* * *

><p>It was the warm, overbearing sun leaking through the window that woke Ashe. She jerked up from the bed—bed?—and felt around, eventually stopping to feel her heart pounding inside her chest. Still beating… she was alive again.<p>

Ashe lie back down, hands pressed over her heart. Then an arm snaked around her waist and drew her close to a warm, bigger body.

"Bad dream?"

_Oh, gods, no_.

It felt as if her heart was going to leap from her mouth in shock. This couldn't be real. She was very much alive, yes, but she was also in bed with—

"Snow," she breathed.

He responded with a soft hum, nuzzling against her messy hair. His rough hands moved up her arms, though when he leaned closer, that was enough. Ashe practically leaped from the bed and tumbled to the floor, breathing heavily—_what in the world was going on? _Disheveled, Snow sat up and watched her with half-lidded eyes.

"Wazzamatta?" he murmured. Ashe frowned.

"Pardon?"

"What's the matter?" Snow repeated, rubbing his eyes. "Jeez, Ashe, for a second I thought you were gonna hit me again."

"You're in _my_ bed!"

There was an abrupt knock at the double doors, and Snow's eyes widened in alarm. He flung the blankets from the bed and made a mad dash for the bathroom, barely a blur until he slammed those doors shut. Ashe stared in silence, and it dawned on her that he wasn't wearing any clothing.

"This must be a dream," she whispered.

The knock at the door grew more persistent. Ashe straightened her nightgown and went to the door, opening it as calmly as she could. It wasn't a handmaiden that greeted her—but Lightning herself.

"I heard yelling," Lightning snapped, barging into the room. "_Where is he?_"

"He?" Ashe stammered. Just seeing Lightning there, in the flesh, was enough to catch her off guard. The last she had seen and heard of the woman, she was in Valhalla and doing battle against Caius.

But Caius had been in the Void Beyond. _He killed Mateus and I_, she remembered.

"That damn sky pirate," Lightning cursed, still on her tirade. She crouched down and checked under the bed, then headed straight for the bathroom door. Ashe dove in her path, holding out her arms.

"You mean Balthier? He's not here, Lightning."

The woman looked puzzled. "Who's Balthier?"

"The… sky pirate."

Fire burned in Lightning's eyes, but there was confusion mixed with the anger. Pure, utter confusion. She genuinely did not know who Balthier was.

"I've never heard of him—and don't you dare play innocent, your Majesty!" Lightning's confusion vanished instantly, replaced with even more anger. "Where is that pirate?"

"I'm afraid I don't know who you're talking about, Lightning," Ashe replied slowly. Was she talking about Snow? He was no sky pirate, that was certain.

Lightning's gaze flickered to the bathroom door again. Behind it, Ashe could hear Snow doing his best to hold back his laughter. Of course he would find this all amusing, especially since Ashe truly had no idea what was going on. If this was a dream, she wanted to wake up _now_.

"Your Majesty," Lightning spoke. "Please move."

"Why?"

"That pirate is a wanted criminal! And you're… you're hiding him, aren't you?"

Ashe paled. "What has he done?"

"He's a _pirate_; what hasn't he done? Please, your Majesty—"

"Call me Ashe."

"_Ashe_. Please let me check the bathroom."

Reluctantly, Ashe moved aside and let Lightning continue her search. When there was no yelling, cursing and sounds of bones snapping, Ashe realized that Snow had gotten away… somehow.

"Are you satisfied?" Ashe asked, crossing her arms as Lightning returned.

"He's around here somewhere. But… I trust you'll keep your distance. At least I hope so." Lightning went to the main doors, bowing slightly. "The ball celebrating your kingdom's recovery is tonight, and I need to assign posts to my men."

"I wish you luck."

Lightning sent one last wary glance around the room, then closed the doors behind her. Ashe just about collapsed onto her bed, pressing her hands to her heart. Gods—Serah was right. Lightning was very overprotective.

_Serah!_ Where was she? And Noel… they'd been separated, and Caius—

"That was a close one," Snow said suddenly, standing in the open window and fully clothed (thank the gods). "I thought Light was for sure gonna catch us again."

Ashe gaped in horror. "_Again_?"

"Still can't believe she's pissed at me for not joining the Dalmascan Guard like she asked." Snow strolled into the room, flopping onto the mattress beside her. Ashe scooted away and pulled at her sleeves uncomfortably. "But I kinda like this a lot better."

"Being a sky pirate, you mean."

His grin widened. "Yup. Sneaking around the palace has its perks, for sure."

She didn't want to ask what exactly those "perks" were. "I… I have things I need to do."

"You're kicking me out already?" He gave her a look of mock hurt, almost like a child who'd been denied attention. With a heavy sigh, he stood, towering over her. "Nah, I get it. You've got your queenly duties, am I right?"

Ashe nodded slowly.

"I can always steal you later tonight."

The words caught her off guard. "Steal me? Why would I even consider letting you—"

And then he laughed. It was a welcoming sound amidst the confusion and fear this new world (dream?) brought her. Ashe leaned forward slightly, resting her chin in her palm.

"Why not stay?"

Snow kept his hand on the window pane, only turning his head to look at her. "Really? You mean it?"

"I asked…" She approached him cautiously, hands behind her back. "Didn't I?"

"Yeah, but you're always so… 'Get outta my room, you filthy pirate'! That, or Light has to chase me out, which almost happened today and that woulda _really_ sucked—"

Ashe reached up and pressed a finger to his lips. "Snow. Has anyone ever said that you talk far too much?"

"I… yeah, actually. A lot of people."

"Like Serah?"

His expression went slack at her name, and his skin was suddenly a shade paler. Ashe touched his arm and moved closer.

"Snow, I'm sorry," she whispered. "I only thought that, since I am her friend as well—"

"You knew Serah?"

"Yes, we journeyed together through time with a boy named Noel! We met up with you in the Sunleth Waterscape. Don't you remember?"

Snow shook his head. "No, Ashe… I don't remember any of that. Are you feeling okay?" He pressed his hand to her forehead, completely forgetting he wore gloves. "You seem… really off today. Really moody."

"I'm _fine_! You're the one who doesn't…" she trailed off, looking to the side. Outside the window, Rabanastre was a bustling city once again; hundreds of people walked the streets and worked in preparation for a celebration of sorts. Was that what Lightning had been talking about?

This wasn't right. The last she saw of her home, the city was being devoured by chaos. Noel had whisked her away just in time, but here—it was as if that never happened. Not to mention that Snow was _here_, and not… dead. And Lightning! She wasn't in Valhalla anymore.

"Snow," Ashe said tentatively, taking his hands into her own. "What… exactly are you doing here?"

"I come here every night, at least when I can—"

"No! I mean… here, in Ivalice. Why aren't you home on Pulse with Serah?"

Her words seemed to confuse him even more. "I left, remember? I came here to find Light, but… there's no way for us to go back. You know that."

"But the time gates—"

Snow laughed and held her face, then, must to her annoyance, pressed his lips to her forehead.

_This is so wrong_, she told herself, squeezing her eyes shut. _This isn't what I wanted._

Something shifted, a distortion twisting in her mind.

"_This _is _what you want._"

Ashe opened her eyes. Snow was frozen in place, hands still resting on her cheeks. She drew away and turned, only to come face to face with Yeul herself. The girl regarded her with a cold gaze, as if Ashe were the one threatening this place. _This dream?_ It couldn't be real…

"_Your heart's desire… this is what it wants._"

"My heart?" Ashe breathed. "No, I… I understand what can and cannot be, and this certainly isn't what—"

The room around them distorted and darkened—day became night. Snow had vanished, whisked away by whatever demons held her in this dream.

Yes, a _dream_. This wasn't real. She understood that whatever existed between her and Mateus—_not Snow_—was a thing of the past. There had been something, true, but he was gone. He was nothing more than a fragment of her memories and of Snow's soul, trapped inside the void beyond this world.

"_Don't you understand?_"

"Understand what?"

Yeul smiled thinly, so cruel and unkind—what happened to the Yeul they met before?

"You could stay," came Lightning's soft voice. Ashe whipped around to look at her. "Ashe… you've missed me, haven't you?"

"You're not Lightning," Ashe spat. "She's in Valhalla, waiting for us!"

"I'm right here, Ashe." Lightning held out her hand and smiled. "We're all here."

In a flash, other figures joined her, all shrouded in the same thick, dark clouds and golden ribbon. Snow had returned, along with Penelo, Basch, Vaan and—_Rasler_. Her whole family was there, both the dead and living—

"This is what you wanted, Ashe," Snow said. His grin was so very eerie, and his eyes… there was no life behind them. Not anymore. "Remember? You wanted a future where everyone lives."

Yes.

And no.

There was a time when she would have given her own life to see her family again, to see Rasler and everyone she had lost over the years… just one last time. She couldn't have been the only one to want that, could she? Anyone would wish to see their lost loved ones, whether in their dreams or in reality.

Yet what she truly wanted—this was not it.

And so she closed her eyes and ran.

The doors swung open and revealed a dizzying sight. The grand ballroom was filled with people in all sorts of colors, all spinning 'round and 'round, caught in an endless dance. Some laughed, some cried, while some felt nothing at all. The orchestra's music was loud, but it was also silent; it was nothing more than white noise in her mind. Ashe stood in the center of this madness, clutching her head. She wanted to breathe but couldn't, as if all the air in her lungs had been stolen away by the sweet, intoxicating scent of chaos in the air.

_Ashe, what about you?_

The music grew louder, violins screeching through her ears and piercing her eardrums. There was so much laughter, so much crying—

_I, too, wish for a better future._

Ashe squeezed her eyes shut, tears pricking the corners of her eyes, trickling down her cheeks.

_I want to see a world where there is no sorrow, no pain… and most certainly no death._

Then the music stopped. The voices ceased, and the chaos began to subside. At last she could breathe. A hand slipped across her shoulders and grasped her arm, just as warm lips brushed her earlobe.

"It's time to wake up, princess."


	16. The Trickster and His Puppet

"Where you come from is gone, where you thought you were going to was never there, and where you are is no good unless you can get away from it. Where is there a place for you to be? No place."

—Flannery O'Connor, _Wise Blood_

* * *

><p>"It's you."<p>

The words slipped from her mouth like breath, weak and quiet against the bells tolling somewhere far, far away. Balthier still stood at her side, watching the ghostly dancers with something akin to sorrow in his eyes. He glanced sidelong at her, then smiled.

"Are you that surprised to see me?"

"Considering the last time we spoke, yes," she answered a little harshly. She was thankful he held onto her, for her legs felt like they would buckle at any moment. "How did you—"

Balthier pressed a finger to her lips, silencing her.

"Time won't wait for us, princess. We best move on soon."

"Fly first, ask questions later," Ashe mused, smirking. "Is that how we're doing this?"

The expression that crossed Balthier's features was not one Ashe expected. He turned his gaze toward the ceiling, a look of longing and perhaps something akin to regret in his dark eyes. It then occurred to her that Balthier wasn't looking at anything specific; rather, he wasn't looking at anything at all.

Ashe regarded him carefully. In this mad dream, she wasn't sure what was real and what was not. She had dreamed up such strange and impossible things, and to be honest, Balthier was the only thing that felt real.

"I take it you're not a pirate anymore," she murmured, taking in his knightly garb. "At least, not in appearance."

"Many things have changed." He pulled away from her and held out an arm. "Shall we?"

She looked down. Loosely tied around his wrist was a black cloth, faded with time and threads fraying on the edges. It was Snow's old bandana—the one Balthier had taken shortly before he disappeared. All this time, he kept it.

"Ashe," Balthier prompted, cocking his head. "You're not going to stay here, are you?"

Always so quick to question her intentions—he hadn't changed at all.

"Of course not," she answered quietly. Ashe took his arm. "Let's get out of here."

A rush of warm wind came over her senses as the Historia Crux greeted her, almost as if it were welcoming her home. There were no signs of the destruction that had separated her, Serah and Noel—all the wheels were intact and spinning, though most of the gates were still closed, save for the gates to Academia and New Bodhum.

"It's back to normal again," she mused quietly. Balthier glanced sidelong at her.

"Yes," he answered. "It would seem you were tricked."

"What do you mean?"

He pointed to Academia's gate. "The artefact you and the others used recently had been tampered with—it was a trap set by Caius himself. But he wasn't working alone."

"So, then… who did it? The only ones who had handled the artefact were…"

Of course: it was Alyssa who betrayed them. She must have been working with Caius for quite some time, and when he needed them to go to the Void Beyond, he had her mess with the artefact. That was why things ended the way they did—it was Alyssa's doing.

"What happened to her?"

"She was a paradox, Ashe. She was meant to die in the Purge, but… something changed, and she was given a second chance at life." Balthier drew in a sharp breath. "Her dream was short lived, unfortunately. All paradoxes must be eliminated from timeline one way or another."

Noel was a paradox as well, but—

_Oh, Noel._

"There is nothing we can do to stop the inevitable. Remember that, Ashe."

"I understand. But what of Caius? What was his plan?"

"To kill you and your allies, what else? Everything you do creates a shift in the timeline, good and bad, yet he doesn't want that."

Ashe bit her lower lip. "So Serah… she, too, is dead?"

"Not quite. She must find her own way out of her dream, much like you. She must come to understand that dreams are dreams, and they will never be anything else unless you make them so."

"That's what I did. I couldn't accept that world as my reality."

"If you had chosen otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to reach you."

Ashe nodded and turned her eyes forward. "That dream was much too far from the truth to seem real."

At this, Balthier laughed. "Ah, yes. Those that die in the Void Beyond are merely sent into a deep sleep, trapped in a world created by what their heart desires."

"M-my heart?" she spluttered. "I think you're mistaken, Balthier. I don't want to—to fool around with a pirate or—"

"The Beyond has a way of twisting our desires. Something we might express little interest in can suddenly become an important part of our lives, and then we are forced to choose between what could be and what cannot be." Balthier smiled faintly. "I suppose my dream wouldn't be any different."

She recalled seeing Balthier trapped in a crystal prison—then remembered what else the Oracle Drive had shown them. Cocoon's destruction, seemingly brought on by Balthier's own hand.

"Balthier, I have many questions," she started to say, drifting alongside him, "and I want answers. I've been waiting far too long."

"And you believe I have them?"

"If you don't, perhaps you can tell me where to start looking."

Another laugh—Ashe couldn't remember the last time she saw him laugh like that, let alone smile. Their last meeting was… a rather solemn affair.

Balthier went silent for a few moments, then took her hand and led her to a blank, yet unlocked gate. Magick swirled inside the gate, fuzzy and grainy images of a desolate land appearing every now and then. Ashe reached for the image, but Balthier grasped her wrist and pulled her away.

"I am not proud of the things I've done," he admitted bitterly. "I am no different from the man that nearly killed you."

"Caius, you mean?"

"He has good intentions, and a good heart, but how he goes about things is… well, you've seen what he's done and is willing to do. If Lightning hadn't brought me to my senses, I could have been just like him."

Ashe lowered her hand and took a deep breath. "Then tell me. No more secrets, Balthier."

He laughed dryly and hung his head.

"Where do I start…?"

* * *

><p>It's a grave with no body. Balthier can't help but find this rather ironic—after all, he's stood before many other empty graves. Vayne's, his father's, Reddas's… and now Snow's grave. The others didn't hurt as much as this, standing over what should have been a final resting place. The others didn't make him wish he had died in their place, wish that <em>maybe<em> this is all some messed up dream.

And more importantly… the other deaths, not even his own father's, made Balthier hate himself.

He bends down on one knee and touches the cool headstone, tracing his finger along the roughly engraved name. _Snow_. He's gone over all the many possibilities of what could have happened that day, considered what he could have done to prevent it all, but in the end he knows he was, and still is, powerless to change fate. Change Snow's fate.

Frowning, he stares at the bandana with a heavy heart. It's so light in his hands, but it feels like the weight of the world is on his shoulders, a burden from the dead.

Balthier lifts his head slightly, the soft footsteps in the sand breaking his vigil.

"Princess."

He doesn't need to turn around to know she's giving him that hard stare of hers.

"Balthier?"

"You always knew me best," he breathes. "Even though my memories are still a bit foggy, that's the one thing I cannot forget."

Ashe moves closer. She's not alone; Basch is with her, ever the silent guard. Balthier is surprised, however, that Lightning isn't there. Perhaps she has already found her way back home to Pulse (_Gran_ Pulse, a distant voice corrects him), and is now telling her dear sister of Snow's tragic fate. He hopes she tells Serah the truth, tells her that Snow died a hero's death rather than a villain's. A hero, not a villain.

"What are you doing here?" Ashe asks. "Where's—"

"Elsewhere," Balthier answers sharply. He touches the stone again and closes his eyes, clutches that black scrap of cloth to his heart. "You see, princess—Lightning is not the only one Etro had called to duty."

Ashe stays silent.

"Fate has no control over my life," he continues, "and I'm about to change it for another."

A life for a life—that's Etro's little rule for bringing back the dead. It's a fair law, as what you lose must be worth as much as what you're gaining. Balthier feels that his life means nothing in comparison to Snow's, but Etro believes otherwise. He wonders _why_, but he doesn't dare question her. As long as he gets what he wants, nothing else matters.

"So that's it," Ashe retorts. "This is good-bye?"

Balthier laughs brokenly. "If that is what you believe, yes."

"Lightning needs you."

"She needs to understand that our paths are different."

"Only because you say so. What has become of you, Balthier? You might be a pirate at heart, but that doesn't mean you would abandon our cause, or—"

"I hardly remember you, princess. You're yet another thing the gods have stolen from me." Balthier stares at the bandana again, then finally tears his eyes away to face Ashe and Basch. "What I mean to say is that for now, we go our separate ways."

"For now," she repeats.

"Usually that means we'll meet again. Don't sound so skeptical." He clicks his tongue, flashing a half-hearted smirk. "You keep furrowing your brow like that, and you'll have wrinkles for the rest of your life."

Ashe's mouth opens and closes, then presses into a thin line. Smart girl—she's learned when and when not to speak her mind. Part of him wishes she would anyway. Tell him he's being too rash, reckless, and—

Balthier laughs again.

_We're a lot alike, you and I._

"Well then," Balthier says, closing his eyes. "Good-bye."

She doesn't say a word, and neither does Basch. They let him go just like Lightning, but they watch him leave.

It pains him to do this. It really is in his heart to abandon those he calls "friends" (his family?) and to leave them with nothing but a vague promise of meeting again. He cast Ffamran aside and gave himself a new name—and all for what, to break the chains binding him to his father? His home?

Balthier is no different. Ffamran ran away, and Balthier flees. Ffamran was a coward, and Balthier is—

A hero?

Not a villain, he reminds himself. But he's no hero either.

* * *

><p>Not even a week later and he's sold his soul.<p>

But his task doesn't end there, no. Etro has asked him to ferry dead souls to her Door, and should he fill his quota, Snow will be returned to him. Balthier accepts without a second thought, but as he stands before the Door of Souls itself, he wishes he could betray his word. He could go there himself, find Snow and bring him home. _To Serah_, a distant voice whispers. _He is Serah's, remember?_

Balthier considers laughing, but stays silent.

Bhuniberzei himself cannot find a way into the Beyond, the Unseen Realm. Balthier wonders _why_ the Maker of all people would search for the afterlife, as there is nothing he fears more than death.

"Fathers that crave power over familial love," Balthier murmurs as he gazes at the Door. "You and I are more alike than I thought, goddess Etro."

He cannot see her, but he can feel her. She is there with him. Their souls are connected now, tied by something far greater than fate. He doesn't dare declare them _soul mates_, but there really is no other way to describe it. Perhaps all the servants of Etro feel this way?

All of her servants… There are only two that he knows of: himself and Lightning—though she's still in Ivalice, but not for much longer. Something is going to happen, he knows it. Valhalla will call to Lightning and bid her return.

Etro is afraid.

Balthier ignores the goddess's fears in favor of his task. He does as she asks, guiding lost souls to the Door mere moments after their deaths. Yet soon he grows impatient. He's guided so many souls (_hundreds!_) but Etro has not met her end of the bargain. He's done his job, but Snow is still—

"Why so dark and gloomy?"

Balthier feels his very bones go rigid. He lifts his head and stares wide-eyed at Snow's grinning face. There's a warm glow about him; he stands with his arms crossed, head tilted in a questioning, yet teasing manner.

"What's with the sad face?" Snow asks. "Thought you'd be happy to see me again."

"I… what are you doing here? You're—"

_still dead._

That's when Snow doubles over and starts laughing. "Are you serious right now? You, the great sky pirate Balthier! Speechless! I don't believe it."

"Snow—"

"Jeez, you used to know exactly what to say. What changed?"

The problem is: he doesn't know. What he does know is that Snow is right. It was almost as if Balthier the sky pirate had died alongside him on the _Shiva_, and all that was left was Ffamran the coward. Ffamran, who could not save his friend from death.

"No…" Balthier murmurs, fingers curling at his sides. "I won't fail you again. I'll find a way."

Snow's gaze softens. "What are you talking about?"

"You always talked about bringing me back home… when my home was…" _wherever you were._ "You—you promised to get me home, remember? And you kept that promise, even against all the odds. Now it's my turn to bring you back… Serah's still waiting for you, Snow."

He tries – oh how he tries to push Balthier forward and keep Ffamran hidden away. As he stands there, laughing it all off like some _joke_, he finds himself becoming less like Balthier and more like Ffamran.

_It's all for the girl's sake_, Balthier laughs. _Serah needs you._

_No_, Ffamran whispers. _I need you._

Suddenly Snow is standing right beside him. Balthier flinches when he feels Snow's hand slap against his shoulder, but he doesn't pull away.

"That's right," Snow says. "I've still gotta introduce you to her! Man, how could I forget? She's gonna be mad it's taken this long…"

"Can't keep her waiting, can you?"

"No way. She looks a lot like Light when she's pissed."

"And we all know how that will end."

It's just like old times. The notion makes Balthier smile, but only for a moment.

"Listen, Snow… when all this is done, I need you to do something for me." Balthier takes a step back, watches as Snow's grin falters. "Don't come looking for me. You need to be there for Serah."

"Why—"

"Serah needs you. I don't."

Snow goes silent, but he doesn't need to say anything. Balthier knows that look, all too well. As Lightning always said, Snow's built like a behemoth. Physical injuries do little to dampen his spirits and determination, but mere words—

Balthier glances away.

"I'm sorry, Snow, but this is all I ask. You and I must go our separate ways. Wherever you go after this, I cannot follow. Not this time."

"So that's it?"

He nods.

"I think you and I both know I'm not gonna sit around and wait for you."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

And Snow just smiles. He's dead and trapped behind the Door, but he's still _smiling_. How is it that he can find the better side of things in any situation? How is it that he can still smile after all that happened? Balthier once thought of Snow as a fool – a fool who believed in his own delusions of a happy ending just so he could get by. Now he can't help but admire the man for it.

But – this is not how it's meant to be.

"I have to go, Snow."

Snow nods and crosses his arms. "You do what you gotta do, I guess. The leading man never takes a day off."

"Yes… I suppose he doesn't."

Without another glance, Balthier turns his back and walks away.

A day later he learns it was all for nothing.

A day later he realizes he was the fool all along.

* * *

><p>'<em>Why protect a goddess that cannot summon the dead from the ground? Why be her knight when she broke her promise?'<em>

'_Promise? She never—'_

'—_made one? Well, I see now that the goddess is no less a trickster than her brother. To believe in deities that fail to restore life… I pray you find salvation in your eternal dream.'_

'_I wonder… I wonder if I made the wrong choice…'_

* * *

><p>"Back again?"<p>

The voice catches him off guard. Balthier hasn't heard any voice other than his own for weeks now, and for a moment he almost swears he's talking to himself again. He pauses and turns his head to the window, his reflection staring back at him with a cruel, vile smirk on its pale face. Balthier reaches up and touches his own face—but his reflection doesn't mimic his actions. It stays utterly still, watching and waiting.

"Patrolling Valhalla's hallways isn't the most exciting job, is it? Trust me; I know."

Balthier blinks once, rubs his eyes, then blinks again. Did his reflection just—?

"Don't play dumb, Ffamran. You know me, and I know you… we are the same, after all." The reflection grins now. "Let's play a game, shall we?"

A skeletal hand tears itself from the mirror and reaches out, then—

He feels an icy chill run down his spine as he squeezes his eyes shut, lips pulled back in a grimace. When the chill subsides, Balthier exhales and relaxes, then presses a hand to his chest. His heart is pounding, but not from fear this time.

"So…" The voice is closer now; he can feel cold breath against his neck. "In my world, we follow my rules. Break them… and I break you. Understand?"

"Who are you?"

His reflection laughs. It—he?—can't be called a reflection anymore, as there are no mirrors in this void, but Balthier isn't sure what to call it. A doppelganger? No, that would be impossible. As twisted and broken as the timeline is, he knows parallel worlds, doppelgangers and the like can't exist. If they did, well… the world really would be unstable, wouldn't it?

"That's not how we're playing this game, Ffamran."

"I never agreed to any games."

His double laughs again, silver eyes widening in a crazed, wild manner.

"Come now, you love this game! All you have to do is answer a few questions, and I'll let you go on your way. Can't have Etro's knight slacking on the job, can we?" He paces along the fog covered ground, black and red cloak flowing behind him. "Now then: who are you?"

"I asked you first."

"Well now I am asking you. Answer the question, Ffamran."

Balthier snorts. "You just answered it yourself."

"Your name alone doesn't define who you are. Some have many names… Kingslayer. Queen. Orphan. Thief. Traitor… Fool." A smile stretches across his double's face. "We are not always what we seem, and thus names can be deceiving."

"Then if my name isn't the answer, what are you looking for?"

The double's smile fades a little bit. "One word. Who are you?"

The words _coward_ and _liar_ come to mind almost instantly, along with _destroyer_ and _monster_. Balthier almost laughs at this; he hasn't been called a monster in years, it seems. Ragnarok was the monster, the would-be destroyer of life itself.

His double is right. Names are deceiving.

"Clock's ticking, Ffamran. _Who are you_?"

Balthier's mind wanders back to a time he still can't quite remember. Gray eyes close, a mouth breathes a quiet sigh, and fingers reach for a ring that is no longer there.

_I am simply myself. No more and no less_.

"You say that names hold little value," Balthier says softly. "So there really is no way to define who, or what, I am. I'm… only myself. Nothing more."

His double stays silent, fingers twitching at his sides. One hand is gloved and the other, the skeletal one, is not. Skin hangs off the bony tips, pieces falling to the ground every now and then.

"She must mean something to you," he answers. "You lost so many memories, yet you hold onto her. What else have you lost?"

Everything, Balthier wants to say, but it's not the truth. There's only one thing he can truly say he has "lost", since the rest he merely cast aside and abandoned in his haste. He can't even say he lost his own soul. He gave it up, just like everything else in his life.

But he lost his heart. He lost his heart and couldn't get it back.

"Ah, there it is," his double breathes. "The heart is more than a chunk of meat beating in one's chest. Sometimes it's not even tangible. But yours… yes, I'm afraid you lost yours."

"I couldn't save him."

"But it was his choice, wasn't it? Of course he had to die one way or another, but he ended it himself. The other option was to wait until one of your lot did it for him. I rather think this ending was far more tragic—wouldn't you agree?"

"What do you want?" Balthier tires of these games. All he wants is to give up and run away. He already failed to save Snow, Ragnarok and Lightning. There is nothing more he can do.

His double pauses his pacing and smiles.

"I have one last question. Life or death, Ffamran. Which would you choose?"

"For who?"

"That's up to you."

"I don't want anyone else's fate in my hands. I never asked for this! All I wanted was to bring back someone who died too soon! He deserved to live a full, happy life, but you—"

Balthier freezes. He feels his breath catch in his chest, and his heart continues to pound.

"You… Lindzei."

His double's smile cracks his face, pieces fall to the ground and shatter like glass. A man with red eyes, black hair and pale, pale skin stands before him now, Chaos flowing around him.

"Choose life and you end up like me. Choose death and you'll end up like that fool you care for _so much_," Lindzei says with a thin laugh. "The ending is the same, not matter what you do! Fate is something no one, not even the gods, can change."

"You're not dead," Balthier whispers. "How—"

"Did you really believe it's that simple to kill a god? I am the Trickster, Ffamran. It was all a game, remember?"

For the first time in a while, he feels something other than sorrow.

"A game? Taking Snow's life was all a game to you?" Balthier shouts. "Humans aren't the gods' playthings!"

"Well what else were you created for? Born from my sister's blood, tainted by Chaos… Your souls are the keys to opening the Door. Really, I had no other plan in mind when I created humanity."

Lindzei touches Balthier's shoulder and leans close to his ear.

"Choose wisely, my friend. The clock's ticking."

Then he vanishes, leaving Balthier alone in the darkness. He falls into a deep sleep afterward, trapped in a dream where everything is as it should be. In his dream, Snow is alive. Lightning never left Pulse. Serah smiles and welcomes her family home.

And Balthier—he's just glad they have their happy ending.

_Even if it's all a dream._

* * *

><p>It's a gentle touch that wakens him. Balthier opens his eyes to the Void Beyond, Chaos swirling beneath the last bit of this makeshift temple of the goddess. He staggers to his feet, pressing a gloved hand to his forehead. Normally sleeping would get rid of headaches; not make them worse.<p>

"Good morning."

"Good morn—" Balthier freezes. There, leaning against a collapsed pillar is none other than Lightning herself, still donning her armor. "Lightning."

"It's been a while, Balthier."

"I feel like it's been years." He's honest to god grateful she's there. "Where have you been, Light?"

The name brings a small, subtle smile to her face.

"I spent some time in Rabanastre, but… Etro needed me." She takes a deep breath. "Ragnarok… needed me."

"How is that terrible beastie these days?" Then he remembers Caius and their battle, and Ragnarok… "Ah, right. Poor man's got his soul stuck to a sword, I heard."

"Yes, I know. You don't know how many times I've fought Caius Ballad, and…" Her fingers ball into tight fists, and she shuts her eyes. "Every time I fight him, I can't help but think I'm also fighting Ragnarok."

Balthier sits down. He touches the bandana for a moment, then looks up at Lightning again. "And to think you once hated the beast."

"Balthier…"

"All right, all right. You're a busy woman these days, I know. But what are you doing here?" _Abandoned your goddess already?_

"I came to help you. You were trapped in a world shaped by your heart's desire, and if you hadn't realized it wasn't real—"

"Of course I knew it wasn't real," he snaps. He feels as if she's staring right through him. That Farron glare of hers could scare the wits out of even the strongest man. "I appreciate the help, nevertheless. You're the one person I can rely on to pull me out of trouble."

"What about Snow?"

"Not when he's dead."

"But he's… Balthier, listen. I know what you did. You wanted to bring Snow back because he shouldn't have died, but—"

"I failed," he cuts in. "All I got was a few moments with him before I moved on. Etro didn't meet her end, so I'm free. My soul belongs to me, and no one else. Save the lectures for someone else, Light."

She shakes her head, then holds out her hand. "That's where you're wrong, Balthier. Everything Caius told you was a bunch of smoke and mirrors." Lightning laughs quietly. "Honestly, I thought our time fighting fal'Cie might've taught you something. Never believe what the bad guys tell you."

"What exactly are you saying?"

"Snow's alive. You brought him back, Balthier."

* * *

><p>Ashe remained silent the entire time Balthier spoke. She now sat beside him on the pillar, the same spot he reunited with Lightning and learned the truth. The <em>real<em> truth. Yet, despite learning this, he didn't express any signs of joy. He didn't smile, laugh and make some snarky joke about his stupidity. Instead, he only closed his eyes and sighed.

"Lightning and I traveled to three-hundred AF after that," Balthier continued. "We saw the four of you running around Sunleth, fighting that giant flan… I saw Snow fade from that time period, and I tried tracking him down…"

"He ended up four hundred years into the future," Ashe answered. "In Academia?"

Balthier nodded.

"Why didn't you go to him?"

"Because our paths are still different. It will be some time before I can face him."

"So you're going to let fate decide how you live your life? That's not the Balthier I know. If you want to find Snow, _go_. He wants to see you, too. That's what he told me—he's been trying to find you and Lightning all this time."

Balthier looked down at his hands, to the bandana still tied around his wrist. "I knew he wouldn't listen to me. Always the fool…"

"You're no different than him. You're both fools."

At last Balthier laughed. "Ashe, please. What gave you that impression?"

"I know what you're going to do. You want to kill Lindzei once and for all. I can see it in your eyes, Balthier. But we can't go after Lindzei when there are much greater things at stake." Ashe reached over and touched his hand. "The balance between our worlds is being destroyed as we speak, and the only way to fix it is to stop Caius, whatever his plan may be. We can't do it alone. We need you."

"You've done well enough without me this far."

"Look where you found me. I don't think I would've survived if you hadn't come after me," she said. "The future is in a… horrible, horrible state, and we need to save it. I know you mean well, but we have to do this first. Saving humanity must come before our own needs."

Balthier stared at her, and then, after a moment, he nodded.

"Come with me."


	17. Her Return

"Begin at the beginning, and go on till you come to the end: then stop."

— Lewis Carroll, _Alice in Wonderland_

* * *

><p>Traveling with Balthier was a much more serious affair than her time with Serah and Noel. Perhaps their jokes really were true, and Snow's optimism had rubbed off on her, but she wished Balthier would stop being so stiff and utterly <em>depressing<em>. She didn't understand why he still acted this way, ever after learning that he got what he wanted.

Balthier hardly spared a smile for Ashe.

They stopped before a brand new gate, one that led directly to seven-hundred AF. Balthier unlocked it with a simple wave of his hand, then turned to Ashe in an expectant manner.

"That would have been rather useful," Ashe murmured, touching her chin. "We could've gone to Valhalla and saved all the trouble…"

"Nothing is ever easy."

"That doesn't mean it is so wrong to pretend."

He looked at her once before shaking his head. "Let's just get a move on, shall we? Time is short."

"Normally I'm the one eager to move on."

"And yet here you are: lingering."

Ashe turned her nose up and marched up to the gate. It pulled her in and set her down into a desolate land, gray sky and faint Chaos covering the expanse like fog. Ashe felt as if all life had been drained from her body just by breathing this air. Balthier stepped up beside her, kicking at the musty colored sand in disgust.

"Welcome to New Bodhum, seven-hundred years into our future."

"This… is the village?" Ashe spluttered. "It hardly looks the same, and—"

Oh, there. Cocoon was nowhere to be seen. All that was left was a pile of crystal jutting out from the sickly colored water. Ashe felt a twinge of guilt—they had fought so hard to keep the pillar safe, but it still fell. Where they too late? Had Hope and the Academy failed to build the new Cocoon in time?

"The world hasn't aged well, I must admit." Balthier wandered a bit, but never too far. He kept close to Ashe as if anticipated something to go very wrong. _Always on edge_, she noted. "Without humanity to care for her, this is what will become of Pulse." He paused, then made a noise of complaint. "_Gran_ Pulse, sorry."

"So this must be around Noel's time… Cocoon had already fallen by the time he was born, that's what he said."

"Yes. The last of humanity."

"For now. We'll find a way to save them."

Balthier said nothing and began to make his way down to what was left of the New Bodhum village. The NORA house and bar still sat against the cliffs, worn down with years of abuse from the sandstorms and tremors from the pillar's collapse. Most of the houses had been burned and charred beyond repair. Ashe bent down and dug up some sand, watching the grains slip through her fingers.

Her heart ached when she realized, in this timeline, Serah and Snow's friends never got to see them again. Maybe Snow came back eventually, or maybe he didn't. Maybe he was too busy searching for Lightning and Balthier to even think about going home. Serah, on the other hand, was seemingly lost, perhaps even dead—felled by Caius's hand. Noel was gone, too, but there was nobody left in this world to miss him. No one but Ashe. Once more she found herself left behind to grieve the dead, carry their burdens, and move on.

She looked up at Balthier.

"What are we doing here?" she asked, rising to her feet.

"An old friend is supposed to be here…"

"There is no one here but us."

"Which can only mean she's late."

Ashe sighed. "And just who is this old friend?"

"Don't sound so jealous, princess," Balthier chortled. "It's Lightning. I told her to meet me here after I rescued you."

"Lightning? But she's in Valhalla, isn't she?"

"Battling for her life."

"And why aren't you helping her? You're Etro's knight. You should be protecting the goddess—"

Balthier held up a hand to silence her, but there was the ghost of a smile on his face. "Ashe, please. You told me I should look for Snow not too long ago. What would you have me do?"

"The right thing."

"Ah, but we all interpret right and wrong differently. Your right could be my wrong, for all we know." Balthier brushed past her and looked at the NORA house. "For instance: one might see my desires as selfish, while someone else might see them as honorable. In the end, what I want is both right and wrong. It merely depends on who's looking at it."

"I don't believe you're selfish," Ashe replied softly. "Though I do wish you had told me. I could have helped you."

"Dragging you into this mess wasn't my intention."

"I wasn't—" Ashe pursed her lips. Now that she thought about it, it was true. Noel showed up out of nowhere, claiming that Lightning of all people had asked for _her_ help. And, for some reason, she followed him without question. She believed his story without proof—no, she saw the determination in his eyes, the utmost need to prevent the worst from happening. She saw that determination and believed him.

She wasn't dragged into this mess, no. She chose to save the future.

"Be that as it may," Ashe said, crossing her arms, "I am here now, and I am going to do my best to change the future for the better. You and I must work together now, so no more running off."

"What about Snow?"

"Chances are he will find you. I understand him more than I did before, Balthier. He cares for you, and I know he will not stop until you and Lightning are back home."

Balthier laughed lightly at this, turning his head to look at her. "Home… I suppose, once all this is over, this world will be our home. Doesn't that bother you?"

She didn't know whether Ivalice was beyond saving or not—to be honest, she hadn't thought much of her home and kingdom since she began this journey. Her friends… for all she knew, they were already dead. If there was no way to save Ivalice, her friends and people, the least she could do was save Cocoon, and Fang and Vanille, in her their memory.

"I will save the future," Ashe breathed. "I could not save my people, but I can save this world. I cannot afford to lose anyone else."

She lifted her eyes. Balthier had turned away again, but she knew exactly what was on his mind: he had lost people, too. First his father, Vaan, then Snow… Balthier probably had no idea what had become of Fran, Basch and Penelo, and she wondered how often he thought of them—or if he was like her, and had already given up.

Or perhaps saving Snow was the only thing he cared about now. Balthier never showed this much dedication to anyone else, not even Fran. It was strange to see him like this. Balthier truly wanted to save Snow, enough to sell his own soul and travel to the end of time itself in order to see that happen.

Balthier was not selfish. He was doing the honorable thing.

There was a burst of light from the top of the hill, and suddenly Balthier whipped around. In one swift movement, he shoved Ashe behind him and raised his sword, just in time to block the attack of—

"Noel!" Ashe shouted.

Unfortunately Noel wasn't listening. He jumped back and flung a Flare spell at Balthier, who easily dispelled it with a flick of his hand. Serah jumped down from the sandy hill, Mog fluttering behind her.

"Noel, wait! It's Ashe!"

Ah—there it was. Noel snapped out of whatever fury had blinded him and met Ashe's eyes, and then—

He embraced her. Ashe's breath caught in her chest at the sudden, warm affection. Her nose was pressed against the crook of his neck, and he held her tight enough that she could scarcely breathe.

"Noel," she whispered. "What…"

"Don't," he choked out. "Don't say _anything_."

She lifted her arms and returned his embrace. Not a second later, Serah rushed over and threw her arms around them both.

"We're okay," Serah murmured. "We're all okay."

And they were. Despite all that happened, they were _okay_. Noel and Serah were strong; how could she have ever doubted them? Gods, she was ready to continue on this journey on her own, but there was no way she could have done it. They promised to save the future together.

Ashe closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered against Noel's shoulder. "If I had not been so wrapped up in the past, you wouldn't have been… been…" She curled her fingers into his shirt and pressed her face against him. "I—"

"We spend all our time dwelling on the past, we won't get anywhere," he answered quietly, then pulled away from her, hands gripping her shoulders. "The future won't mean a damn thing if that's all we do."

"Exactly," Serah added, smiling widely. "So please don't look so sad, Ashe. We're together again, and that's all that matters."

"Together at the end of the world," Balthier broke in. The three turned around to find him sitting against a fallen tree, sword resting at his side. "Or at least the start of it."

Noel's gaze hardened. "Who's this?"

It was like Sunleth Waterscape all over again. Ashe did not miss the way he brushed past her, one arm spread out just enough to keep her in place, his feet firmly pressed into the sand. The only time she had really seen him like this was around Snow, back when he was still wary of the man for what he was—a paradox. To Noel, Balthier was the same: something that didn't belong in this time, causing a distortion that damaged the timeline and, essentially, prevented them from completing their task.

"Noel, Serah—this is Balthier," Ashe spoke softly, carefully touching Noel's arm. "I, too, was trapped in a dream of what cannot be, but he pulled me out of it. He saved me."

"You sure got a nice sense of timing, huh," Noel said with a distinct scoff. "Why'd you take so long to show up and help us out?"

It was astounding how composed Balthier was, even when Noel was challenging him like this. "Forgive me, then. I had to confront my own demons before I was to even consider… 'helping you out'. I am, however, concerned about how little you know of me. Considering my dalliance with Ashe—"

"Your what?"

"Our… never mind. As you said, the past is the past, and we ought to let it be lest we want to lose our way once again."

"I think we'll be fine if we've got a map," Noel retorted, but—almost all of that hostility had faded. In fact, he was smiling. "So you're Balthier, huh. I've heard a lot about you."

"Oh? Has our dear queen been telling stories again?"

"No—Snow was."

Balthier's smirk faltered. "Ah, I see. Ice always has been the talkative type."

"Talkative is an understatement. More like downright annoying."

"Welcome to my world."

Ashe pressed her palm to her forehead and sighed, while Serah simply laughed.

"Now, our honored guest must be getting impatient," Balthier said, sheathing his sword. He held out an arm to Serah and flashed her a charming smirk. "Shall we?"

Serah nodded and took his arm. "Lead the way."

* * *

><p>'Honored guest'… When they approached what remained of the old pier, there was no honored guest waiting for them, foot tapping impatiently. No, there was nothing but the sand blowing in the wind, the distant cries of the wildlife, and the four of them (plus one very tired moogle). Serah sat down on the steps, resting her chin in her hands.<p>

"Ashe, you mentioned you were trapped in a dream," she said, smiling when Mog plopped into her lap. "What was it?"

"Caius said that those worlds were made from our hearts' desires… so, naturally, I dreamed of a world where none of those close to me had died." Ashe brought her hand up and touched the lightning-bolt pendant. "I still lived in my kingdom… and my family was there."

"So yours wasn't too different from mine. I was back in New Bodhum; it was as if my sister had never left. But then I realized it was too perfect, and it didn't feel real. That's when Fang and Vanille showed me a way out so I could help Noel."

Ashe looked at him. "Was your dream anything like ours?"

Noel didn't answer, but his expression told it all—_yes, it was._ But that wasn't the only thing on his mind, it seemed. Every time Serah looked at or spoke to him, he could not meet her eyes, and there was a strange sort of tension between them. Whatever had happened, however, Ashe knew it was not her business.

Of course, that didn't stop Balthier from prying.

"It seems that the norm around here is wishing for a happy ending. I'll assume that's what yours was about, too."

"Something like that," Noel grumbled. "It was a future that won't exist once we're done here."

_Perhaps it'll become a future where I never existed. There's too much sadness in my world—your future. It'd be better if it never happened at all._

She hated it when he got like this. There was still time to save him, too. She had to find a way so they could all be together in the end… she had to.

"Are you finished yet?"

Ashe whipped around. Standing new an open time gate was none other than Lightning herself. The _real_ Lightning this time, one of Etro's knights. She regarded the group with a curious, almost teasing stare, but there wasn't even a hint of a smile on her face, no joy in being reunited with her friends and, most importantly, Serah.

"Lightning?" Serah gasped, jumping to her feet. "What are you doing here?"

"This is a future… that I could not save."

The younger sister averted her eyes, clasping her hands together. "Is that really you, Lightning?"

"Do you doubt me?" Lightning chuckled softly. "No, it's good to doubt. You're growing up."

There was no chance in the world that Serah would ever doubt her sister. She was one of the few people she would always believe in, no matter what, and Ashe understood that their bond was what kept both sisters going, even when the odds were against them.

"I… I can't believe it! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Serah breathed, taking a few steps toward Lightning. She stopped, almost like she were afraid her sister would disappear the moment they embraced. "Where have you been? What was that dream you made me see? Why did you make me come out here? Why—"

Lightning touched Serah's shoulder and shook her head. "Just listen, Serah. I'll explain everything. Everything that has happened to me in the past… and the one who wants to destroy the future."

"I have a feeling this will take a while," Balthier murmured under his breath. Ashe shoved him with her elbow, then turned back toward Lightning as she began her story.

"More than one miracle took place that day. Cocoon was saved by Fang and Vanille's sacrifice. We awoke from our crystal sleep, and our brands were gone." Lightning rested a hand over her heart in thought. "It was Etro's blessing that was our salvation. A gate opened into the Invisible World, and through it the goddess gifted us with her mercy."

Balthier snorted and looked the other way.

"I felt a whirlwind of emotions. A large part of it was happiness, and relief was there, too. But somewhere inside, I still felt uneasy. Vanille and Fang were gone, and someone… someone else had vanished from our lives as well."

At this point, Lightning couldn't take her eyes off Balthier's back. It was clear that despite their unspoken camaraderie, there was still something pulling them apart, something that stopped Balthier from completely trusting her. In fact, it appeared that there wasn't anyone in this world that Balthier really trusted.

Ashe frowned. So much had changed him…

"The world hung in silence," Lightning continued. "Our fight had just ended, but I couldn't relax. A new battle was about to begin. The events of that day tore open a portal to another world, and from the depths of the rift appeared a darkness that had no place in our world—an irresistible force that dragged me away to Ivalice."

"That was when you found us," Ashe said.

"It was there that I learned who had summoned me. A friend… Ragnarok. He was in danger, and Etro sought my aid in saving him. But I couldn't." Regret lined her voice as she spoke. "The god Lindzei had a plan that would that gate once again, and so he killed Ragnarok, and then…"

Serah touched her pendant. "Snow stopped him."

"Snow wanted nothing more to save us from Lindzei. He didn't want to see anyone else die, so he took his own life and prevented Lindzei from finishing his task." Lightning looked to where Cocoon once stood and sighed. "But this was not the end. A year later, Etro asked for my help once again. Time's flow had been altered by both her and Lindzei's actions, and existence itself was distorted. I found myself back in Valhalla, the realm of the Goddess. She was fading away, and if that happened… Lindzei would get exactly what he wanted. The Door of Souls would open, and his dear father, Bhuniberzei, would awaken."

"And Caius?" Noel grunted. "What is he after?"

"The same as Lindzei. He seeks to destroy all hope and bring an end to the future. He intends to release the Chaos into our world by killing Etro."

"So that's why he tried to stop us."

Balthier faced the group again, this time with his signature smirk on his face. "He wants to let Cocoon fall. I have seen Door of Souls—when a soul dies, it goes to the other world and passes through. If, say, the whole populace of Cocoon and Pulse were to perish, the Door would have to open wide enough to let them all through."

"It would be unstoppable," Lightning agreed. "Chaos would infect everything… The world would be with without life, death and time."

"Just like our home, sweet home. Valhalla."

"I don't understand why Caius would want this. Is it for… power?" Ashe asked, cringing slightly at her own brush with such an obsession. Anyone could succumb to a lust for power, and if that were true… she and Caius were no different.

Noel balled his fist and stared at the ground. "No, it's to save Yeul. All the seeresses down the ages would be released from their curse. Caius wants to sacrifice Cocoon to rebuild the world in Valhalla's image—all for the sake of Yeul."

"Would you do the same for her?"

"She… wouldn't want that. I know she wouldn't."

"And this is why we can't wait much longer," Lightning interjected. "I must remain in Valhalla and defend Etro, but I need the three of you to face Caius in the here and now. I cannot do this alone."

Ashe nodded. "If we can stop him," she said, hopeful, "everything will go back to the way it is. Isn't that right, Lightning?"

"Yes."

It all depended on how far back in the timeline the paradoxes occurred. Perhaps, the moment they defeated Caius, Ashe would go back to Ivalice without any memories of this journey. It would be as if she never met anyone named Lightning, Serah, Snow, Hope… and Noel. Noel would surely fade from time itself.

"Everything will depend on you. Serah… can you do it?"

Serah had been quiet this whole time, mulling over Lightning's words with an almost heartbroken look on her face. But now, when she looked at her sister, she was determined.

"I won't let you down, Lightning."

"Good." Lightning smiled, then looked to Balthier. "And you? What will you do?"

"If you're asking me to fight with you in Valhalla…" Balthier began to say, glancing in Ashe's direction. "I'm afraid I have business elsewhere, Lightning, and I rather think you don't need my help."

"Is that a compliment?"

"An observation. As much as I'd like to see you punch Caius into oblivion, I can't go back to Etro. Not yet. There is something I must do."

He went to Serah and took her hand. Serah glanced at the bandana around his wrist, lips agape in concern, but her eyes went back to Balthier's face when he spoke to her.

"Serah, I will bring him back to you. I promise." Balthier laughed weakly and let go of her hand. "And this time I'll make sure he doesn't get into anymore trouble."

"Thank you, Balthier."

He approached Ashe next, but not before giving Noel a very stern, almost threatening look. The boy flinched and suddenly found poking Mog to be the most interesting thing there.

"Ashe… you've changed," Balthier said softly. "You're not the woman I left behind all those years ago. You're… different."

She smiled and tilted her head. "Is that good?"

"Quite." He touched her shoulder as he walked to the time gate, fingers lingering on her skin for a few seconds. "You always were strong, princess."

He was gone before she even turned around.

And then, shortly afterward, Lightning left with nothing but a few parting words.

"One thing at a time, Serah."

Serah watched her sister leave, but she didn't cry, nor did she really look all that sad. In fact, seeing Lightning again seemed to strengthen her determination to defeat Caius and save the future. She believed that someday, she and the rest of her family would be reunited, and that perhaps, if the Goddess wished it, she wouldn't have to say good-bye to both Noel and Ashe.

But still—saying good-bye was inevitable.

There were many things she wanted to say, and should have said to Balthier, but, like Lightning, his battle was not yet over. Yet, unlike her, he wasn't fighting for his own life. He was fighting for someone else.


	18. The Future is Hope

"When one loves somebody, everything is clear—where to go, what to do—it all takes care of itself and one doesn't have to ask anybody about anything."

– Maxim Gorky, _The Lower Depths and Other Plays_

* * *

><p>"This is a bad idea."<p>

"No way, this is a _great_ idea. Even Balthier thinks so—right, Balthier?"

Said man was too busy lounging in the shade of the cliff side to even bother acknowledging Snow, let alone answer him. Hope wondered if the only reason Balthier came along was because Snow had either dragged him out of the camp, or he came along with the intention of making sure neither of them got into trouble.

"See, kid, all you gotta do get one of those chocobos," Snow continued, pulling Hope aside. He gestured to the small group of chocobos grazing in the grass, golden feathers stark against the green landscape.

"Why me?"

"You wanted to impress Vanille, didn't you? Well, there you go! I've solved your troubles for you."

Hope gaped, spluttering at the man's words. "I'm not trying to impress anyone! You're just trying to drag me into one of your games again!" he shouted, then desperately looked to the other man. "Why can't you do it, Balthier?"

The sky pirate cracked an eye open, then scoffed. "I've already tamed a chocobo."

"Huh?"

"I named him Ice. Not the smartest of the flock, but I took pity on the poor thing."

Hope pressed a hand to his mouth, stifling a laugh while it was Snow's turn to gape. "What's that supposed to mean? I thought you were on my side!"

"The leading man never asked for a sidekick."

"Well, the hero doesn't want one either!"

Their banter was something everyone was used to; the day wasn't complete until Balthier and Snow got into some kind of argument, usually over something stupid like whose turn it was to sleep next to Fang. (The woman was infamous for smothering those that sleep too closely in an embrace that only Vanille could endure). Hope debated on waiting for the two men to finish, but that could take hours. Days, even. Maybe it was just one long argument that began the moment their paths crossed?

If that was the case, Hope wasn't going to stick around and wait for the outcome.

He looked back at the herd of chocobos. A mother nurtured her young, preening its feathers and offering nudges of reassurance and affection. The smaller chocobo made a pleased noise, but froze as soon as Hope's foot crushed a small stick. The rest of the herd fled at the sound, but the mother chocobo and her young stayed behind, utterly still.

"It's okay," Hope murmured, holding out his hands. "I'm not going to hurt you. See? Easy there…"

He reached out and allowed the young chocobo to sniff his hand, the tip of its beak grazing his trembling fingers. For a split second he thought the creature would suddenly go carnivorous and bite his whole hand off—wouldn't Light get mad? He wouldn't be able to take on Barthandelus and save Cocoon with only one hand. He wouldn't make much of a l'Cie, for that matter—

The young chocobo bowed his head, allowing Hope to run his fingers through its downy feathers. A faint, anxious laugh escaped his lips.

"What was I thinking? Even Sazh's chocobo isn't violent," Hope said, then paused to reconsider his words. "Well, not _too_ violent," he added, remembering the morning he woke up to a miniature chocobo screeching and pecking at his face.

The mother chocobo cooed softly and suddenly bumped her head against Hope's back.

"H-hey, watch it!" The creature ignored him and continued to nudge at him, even going as far as to nuzzle his head. "That… tickles!"

The commotion must have been loud enough to break up Balthier and Snow's argument, for both men rushed over to see what the fuss was about. It seemed that they expected Hope to be in some sort of trouble, but instead they found the boy laughing as both chocobos doted on him, believing him to be one of their own.

"See, what'd I say? The kid's got a knack for this!" Snow punched Balthier's shoulder, nearly pushing the other man over. "Bet you could never tame one that quick."

"Not in the way you're thinking, no."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Balthier sighed, rubbing the spot where Snow had hit him. "Dear, dear Ice… You'll figure it out someday."

"Why d'you always have to be so cryptic? Hey, kid, you understand him, right?"

Hope stroked the chocobo's beak and sighed. "Why are you asking me?"

"Someone's gotta be able to understand Balthier when he gets like this. Sure as hell as isn't me." Snow laughed uneasily. "Then again, sis does call me a dumb blond… Right, Hope—"

* * *

><p>"—Estheim? Director Estheim!"<p>

Hope jerked away from his desk and nearly flung himself backward at the sudden yell. The young intern – what was her name again? Ally? – stared at him as if he'd lost his mind and gone Cie'th in front of her, arms clenching her clipboard to her chest. It took him a few seconds to realize she had been talking to him this whole time, and only now managed to reach him.

"Director, sir, are you all right?"

"I'm fine—er… Ms. Stein?" Yes, that was right – Aina Stein. She was his intern, assigned to him by the current Director of the Academy (whose name he really could not remember).

"Aina, sir. Please call me Aina."

"Yes, of course. Forgive me, Aina."

The name _Alyssa_ drifted into his mind and tugged at his lips. A flash of a cheeky smile—blue eyes—no, there were tears spilling from those eyes, and that smile was gone, replaced by a twisted frown as she cried, screaming at him.

_Director, I am so sorry—!_

"You seem rather out of it, sir," Aina said, dragging him back to their world once more. "Are you sure that you're 'fine'? Perhaps you need a break!"

He did – he really did. If she were here, Vanille would pressure him into napping until she had to lock him in his apartment and throw away the key. Fang would help, too, though she would've been the only one to take pity on him and leave him be. At least, he hoped she would. And Lightning – she'd just shake her head and walk away.

Perhaps a quick break would be a good idea. Hope excused himself and made for the door, but the communicator on his hip beeped all of the sudden.

"_Director, you have visitors. The three time travelers have returned_."

Hope only sighed.

The three of them waited outside the lobby, a new artefact in hand. Serah was listening to a very animated Noel go on and on about the one time he killed a behemoth all on his own, waving his hands as he described the events. Ashe, on the other hand, seemed hardly interested and pretended to listen, nodding to please the boy. Mog hovered over Serah's shoulder, as usual, berating Noel for being so reckless.

Once again, Hope found himself watching them, unsure as to whether it was a good idea to interrupt their discussion. He was just an outsider to them, after all.

However, their return meant bad news for the future – for his metashield and Cocoon.

(Over the years, he'd found that no one delivered good news in person.)

"Hope, it's so good to see you again," Serah said warmly, jumping up and wrapping her arms around him. Hope laughed uneasily and patted her back.

"You too, Serah. I'm glad to see all of you again."

"We just wanted to check up on you. After that Proto fal'Cie fiasco, we weren't sure if you'd do something like that again without us watching over you," Noel teased.

"I… thank you for reminding me."

It was easy to get lost whenever the three of them visited. Hope longed to believe that he truly was helping their cause, and that he wasn't just another stop on their way to save the world. Yes, _saving the world_ – that was exactly what they were trying to do. They were going to save Cocoon, Pulse, and everyone in the future. But, deep down, Hope couldn't help but feel this was all for Vanille and Fang… and Lightning, too, wherever she was.

Was he being selfish?

"Hope?"

Serah's voice snapped him back to reality. A small chuckle escaped his lips as he pressed a hand to his forehead, and Hope began to realize that today just wasn't his day.

"Hope, are you okay?" Serah repeated. "You seem lost."

"I'm tired," he blurted out – and he really didn't mean to. "I've been working late nights all week, and I can't remember the last time I slept longer than a few hours."

He briefly wondered if they thought he was losing his mind. After all, they were the ones traveling through time and fighting for their lives. They should have been the ones losing sleep! And there he was, whining about being _tired_ when they were the ones who needed a break.

Noel started laughing.

"Why didn't you say something? If you're tired, take a nap," he said, clapping a hand on Hope's shoulder. "Really, Hope, you look like a Cie'th."

"That… is a horrible joke, Noel."

"But it got your attention, didn't it? Now you, Director Estheim, should really get a good night's sleep before you keel over." Hope barely had a second to protest when Noel pulled him aside in a one-armed hug, just shy of a chokehold. "Seriously, Hope. Don't wear yourself out."

"I have a lot to do."

"One day off won't make that big of a difference."

"So says the guy who time travels."

Noel flinched and backed away, lifting his hands as if he were under arrest. "Okay, okay—I get it. But what if we said that you taking at least one _night_ off wouldn't hurt the future? We'll even go check right now!"

"You don't intend on doing that, do you?" Ashe asked. Hope had almost forgotten she was there; she was so silent. "We could all use a night's rest, Hope included, but what good would it do?"

"We could all rest easy for once, that's what!"

"Exactly," Hope interjected. "I'd be more than happy to let the three of you stay with me for a night. You've been working harder than anyone else, after all."

Ashe's critical stare sent chills down his spine. "And you haven't?"

"Well—" Yes and no. Fang always said he was too humble for his own good, but even now he wouldn't admit that he had been working his hardest, and may have indeed deserved a break more than most of the Academy. But he couldn't possibly—

"Hope," Ashe said. "It's all right."

Hope shut his mouth and finally listened.

* * *

><p>They didn't stay long; they were there only for the night, just as promised, and vanished shortly after Hope dragged himself out of bed that morning. At least, Noel and Serah had gone off somewhere with Mog, and so Ashe sat alone at the small table, covered with papers of all sorts. Hope rubbed his eyes once, twice, then shook his head.<p>

"I thought you left," he managed to grumble, blindly reaching for a mug. The cabinet seemed farther away, a few good inches from his fingertips.

"Serah wanted to look around the city," the woman curtly replied. "We haven't gotten a chance to rest like this until now."

She sounded so very tired, and—like Lightning. Like someone who fought too hard and cared too little about themselves.

"Why didn't you go with them?"

"I did not want you to think we just… 'up and left' without saying good-bye. They should be back soon, and then…" She sighed. "And then we do what we must."

"Did something happen?" Hope grimaced as he wiped some dust off the mug. "I just noticed that all of you seem really on edge. It wasn't like that before."

"Many things have happened since we last visited, Hope. For you, it might have been a few days, but for us? It feels like it's been years. Years of fighting, running… trying to make things right again…" Ashe brought her hands up to her necklace and curled her fingers around the charm. "We have all changed, but it's not because of a single event. It's because of many—things that we've experienced, and things yet to come."

"You mean when Cocoon falls."

She nodded, but her eyes said _no_. No, there was more to it. Hope went about making a cup of coffee for himself as Ashe spoke.

"I must admit that the only reason I initially came along was to find Lightning. True, Noel whisked me away with a promise that I'd find her—and I did—but… Not in the way I thought."

"Did she visit your dreams as well?"

Ashe lifted her head and frowned, brows creasing ever so slightly. "No, she… met us at the end of the world. She and Balthier were there."

"Both of them?" Relief spread about him like a warm blanket. They were _alive_. He had seen images of them in the Oracle Drive, but to hear that they were still out there was a massive weight of his shoulders.

"Lightning must remain in Valhalla," Ashe continued, "while Balthier is traveling through time, much like us. All of us have the same goal in mind, but… we're separated. When I saw Lightning again, she hardly said a word to me. Directly, I mean. All I could think that she was so far away from us…"

Ashe went quiet and fiddled with her necklace for a few more moments.

"Our experiences have changed us, and will continue to do so. Yet when we finally finish this… what then? What will become of us?"

"When a time traveler doesn't know the future, you're bound to feel wary." Hope laughed lightly and sat at the table. "I know Lightning—when she has a goal in mind, it becomes her primary focus. She'll do whatever it takes to see it happen. I wouldn't take it too personally."

"I am not so _petty_. I am only considering the future, and—" She stopped herself and sighed, bringing her hands to her lap once more. "You are right, Hope. I shouldn't let this get to me."

He watched her sit there for a moment, the way she seemed to retreat within herself and bottle up her worries. Given that she, Noel and Serah never dawdled around when they visited, Hope never got a good look at them. All three of them look exhausted: Noel was on edge and slightly more serious, Serah was hiding something, and Ashe kept to herself more so than before. He never paused and considered what consequences there were to time travel, but he began to wonder if this was one of them.

"I think…" he said, sliding the mug across the table, "you need this more than I do."

Ashe stared, then—

"What is it?"

"It's coffee. Don't you have that in Ivalice?"

"We have tea." She tentatively wrapped her hands around the mug and lifted it. "Penelo always made some for me during our visits. It was a mixture of herbs Fran gave her from the Wood, I believe. It… relaxed me after I had to deal with the imbeciles on the council."

Hope reached over and took the mug from her hands. "This stuff will give you the jitters. I'll make you tea instead."

While Ashe didn't say anything, Hope knew she was grateful.

As they drank, he listened to her talk about Ivalice. Ashe told him about how she rebuilt her kingdom from the ground up (quite literally), and how Lightning stayed at her side the entire time, like a guardian of sorts. She told him about her friends, the ones she unfortunately left behind.

"Larsa, who now rules Archadia, is… He's like you, Hope," Ashe said, sipping her tea. "He grew up much too quickly."

"Well, we did meet ten years into your future."

"No, not like that."

"Oh." It was all he could say. _Oh, so that's what you mean._ "I didn't lose my chance of a childhood entirely. I was only fourteen when I became a l'Cie."

He wouldn't pretend that experience hadn't stolen what little innocence he had left. They spent countless nights lying awake, scratching at their brands and waiting for the red eye to appear, waiting for the end to come. On the rare nights they managed to catch a wink of sleep, they were plagued by nightmares, their worst moments played over and over like a recording in the Oracle Drive.

_Operation Nora—_

A hand crept across the table and found its way to his.

"Hope."

"Mom," he murmured. The word escaped his lips before he even realized it was not Nora sitting before him, but Ashe. He wasn't back in the Purge, watching his mother's retreating back, watching her fall from the bridge to the dark pit below, screaming until his throat felt raw—

_She was gone_. His mother was gone, and while he couldn't bring her back, there were still so many others he could save. Fang, Vanille and Lightning—and all of humanity, he had to remind himself.

This was for everyone.

* * *

><p>The first thing he noticed when he awoke was the crushing numbness in his limbs. Hope wriggled his fingers, or at least tried to, then peeled his eyes open. He could barely make out the blurry silhouette of the time capsule's lid, but as a few seconds passed and a shadow loomed over him, Hope realized he wasn't alone.<p>

"The pillar—" he choked out. His throat felt so raw. "Fang, Vanille… are they…"

Hope felt something press against his forehead. As it was now, his muddled mind couldn't comprehend what was happening, but he had a sinking feeling in his gut that it was _not good_. His mouth tried to form words, but all that came out was a garbled mess that consisted of "Cocoon" and "my friends".

("Please don't kill me" did cross his mind, but only for a moment.)

The figure grasped the front of his coat, but that was the closest they got before they suddenly jerked back and dropped him. There was a gurgle and choked gasp; Hope winced when something warm splattered onto his face.

"You know, it's bad form to attack a man in his sleep."

Not only was he hearing things, but he was definitely seeing things as well. Impossible things. Things that weren't supposed to be there. _Balthier_ was not supposed to be there, but Hope knew that voice rather well, even if it had been over a decade since he last heard it.

It took a great effort to lift his arm and hold out his hand. Balthier grabbed it and hoisted him out of the time capsule, then eased him into what Hope assumed was a chair.

"I'm not exactly familiar with this sort of time travel," Balthier murmured. "But I suppose it is rather effective. Slow as hell, however. Do you know how long I've been waiting?"

Hope rubbed at his eyes. "You're still as impatient as ever, Balthier."

"It gets the job done."

"And what…" Now that he could see, Hope looked down at the floor, where the body of a hooded man lie. Judging by the weeping hole in his chest, and the blood dripping from Balthier's sword, Balthier wasn't just impatient. "… might that job be?"

"This is the sort of thanks I receive for saving your life?"

It wasn't the first time an attempt had been made on his life. Even after he stepped down as the "official" Director of the Academy, he still received numerous threats (most of which never went farther than that). Hope couldn't take his eyes off the gun sitting a few inches from the corpse's hand. For the first time in years, he felt… unnerved.

"I suppose being a time traveler has its advantages," Hope finally said. "You knew this was going to happen."

"I saw a future where this turned out a little differently." Balthier tilted his head. "We lost not only you, but Cocoon as well. So, I did what I could and tracked you down… and here I am. Everything should be fine now."

"Right… If humanity lost their 'hope', all would be lost."

"Naturally."

He wasn't the hope of humanity. He wasn't traveling through time itself, or fighting for his life in another world. He was… just Hope. Hope Estheim, unofficial Director of the Academy. An ex-l'Cie that didn't get to enjoy his childhood. A kid that wanted nothing more than to see his mother smile again

_I just want my family back_.

"Fang and Vanille are okay?" he asked.

"Still inside the pillar and taking a very, very long nap," Balthier answered. "The others are who-knows-where; probably chasing paradoxes as usual. We'll see them again soon."

"And what about you? Where have you been?"

"I've been trying to make things right again, just like you and everyone else."

His words felt forced. Hope remembered what Ashe said, how everyone had changed and would continue to change until time itself came to an end. The man he looked upon now was not the cocky, overconfident bastard that cared only for himself. No, this was someone entirely new, and it wasn't just the armor he wore. This Balthier was a sad shell of his old self. He might have tried to hide it, to mask it with false smiles and half-hearted gestures, but it wasn't enough.

It was something Hope knew all too well.

"Balthier… you and I understand each other, don't we?"

The question seemed to catch him off guard. "I suppose we do."

"Then you know that I can't sit around and let everyone else fight for their lives. I can't let them do it alone."

Balthier averted his eyes.

"I know I have to be here when Cocoon falls," Hope continued. "I know that. But knowing that you, Light and everyone else are fighting for our future… I can't do this. I have to help."

"You need to stay here, Hope. Fang and Vanille are our priority. When Cocoon falls, we need to be there to get them out of the pillar," Balthier said, sheathing his sword. "I cannot take you through the gates. Etro simply won't allow it."

"But you can't leave me here."

"What are you asking me to do?"

"Fang and Vanille… I need to be the one to get them out of the pillar."

* * *

><p>Apologies for the five month wait for this chapter! Life has been tough, and I really am sorry for the long wait. Updates will come quicker after this, as long as my motivation sticks around. (Reviews are much appreciated and will honestly help me get through this.)<p> 


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